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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think MIL should have consulted ME about Father's Day?

133 replies

head2toeinuniqlo · 29/08/2024 04:21

I have a DH and 2 DC. DH's parents live close by, although we very seldom see them (their choice).

We're in Australia so Father's Day is this Sunday. We had a vague plan of what to do, but thought as a gesture I would reach out to MIL and see if they wanted to do something together. We don't normally, but thought it would be nice. MIL said she had already spoken to SIL and asked her to talk to DH to arrange something.

Firstly, why would DH be organising his own Father's Day?
And secondly, she knows that I do all of the arranging for the family, as she does for hers. Why didn't she contact ME if she wanted to do something together, rather than exclude me from the arrangements?

Sorry I just needed to get that off my chest. She has form for talking to DH when it would be more appropriate to talk to me. It really pisses me off, tbh. We could have had a nice surprise planned for DH that he didn't know about.

I am tempted now to just do our own thing. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
head2toeinuniqlo · 29/08/2024 04:40

@BananaGrapeMelon fair enough if that's normal, but DH has form for 'forgetting' arrangements. Mainly because MIL calls him at work and he's distracted. He's quite disorganised anyway (he had ADHD as a child) hence why I do all the organising for the family.

OP posts:
Original poster
head2toeinuniqlo · 29/08/2024 04:38

@Zonder he knew nothing about it, presumably because SIL had not got around to speaking to him.

OP posts:
BananaGrapeMelon · 29/08/2024 04:37

i think it's normal for MIL to contact her son/daughter rather than you. You're not being excluded- that would imply they were planning to meet up without you!

Zonder · 29/08/2024 04:35

You need to speak to your DH. Why hasn't he told you of these conversations and plans?
Sounds like another of those threads where you might have more of a DH problem.

Original poster
head2toeinuniqlo · 29/08/2024 04:34

She said there had been talk of doing a BBQ or Afternoon Tea. I knew absolutely nothing about this.

OP posts:
KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 29/08/2024 04:31

This is slightly confusing as you reached out to her and she has basically agreed with you to do something together. I’d say its fairly normal for her to contact her children rather than you. I assume DH would say ‘I’ll check with ‘uniqlo’ and get back to you’.

That said, I wouldn’t have contacted my MIL about Fathers Day, I’d just have organised our own thing.

Original poster
head2toeinuniqlo · 29/08/2024 04:29

@Anxiouswaffle yeah I get that, but I might have booked a restaurant as a surprise for DH. She should have checked.

OP posts:
Anxiouswaffle · 29/08/2024 04:25

she's probably not thinking about him being a father but him being a son and also makes better sense to have the two siblings talk