Called a c*nt by fellow train passenger - AIBU

I used to take this kind of thing to heart, but honestly, don't give it another moment's thought. You'll probably never see him again and if you did you wouldn't recognise each other.

Maybe, but a single punch can kill you. I'm not saying I'm beyond saying things to people but I keep myself in check. I'd rather preserve my health for my family. People are unpredictable.

Says who?

I’d have punched him right back and booted him in the bollocks. He was a stupid wee arse that was getting annoyed because his meter ate up his credit, a bit like an overdraft.
I told him he’d catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and to calm down.
He probably went crying to his mammy later 😂

He sounds horrific how dare he. At the same time I can’t fathom why you went back and told him he was rude after the fact.

Same. 😂

He could have also turned around and started punching you instead of the shelves. He could have pulled out a knife. You were lucky. You never know who you are dealing with.

Ah I wouldn’t actually have kicked his bike.

But I certainly wouldn’t have tolerated him being nasty about my toddler.
I’m pretty sure my first reaction would have been to apologise but if I had got the slightest hint of any nastiness or animosity towards my child, he’d have heard from me.

I’m not afraid of men who think they can belittle women when they would never do it to another man.
Anyway, my toddler is now 17 and he’d have plenty to say without my help 😂

(I was in a shop yesterday and a customer was starting to get verbally and physically aggressive; punching the shelving etc. Shouting and swearing.
He was disputing an electricity payment which he said didn’t go through.
He was basically accusing the shopkeeper of theft.
He was probably very early 20’s.
I didn’t hesitate to tell him to stop his aggressive behaviour, it was beginning to border on racism.
He did actually stop.)

Supervise your child better OP, the man wasn’t unreasonable to be worried about the train doors closing on him, just because they didn’t doesn’t absolve you.
And then you go after him when his reply to your half arsed apology wasn’t what you wanted to fit your narrative. And then you get your husband to join in!
I wouldn’t have called you names but I’d have firmly told you both to f*ck off, that you’re ridiculous and you need to supervise your child better.

He didn’t tniugh.

he tutted (or said seriously or whatever)

the op escalated (which he ignored)

the OP escalated again (at which point he called her a cubt under his breath)

As a cyclist I apologise for him. Some people are just angry, whatever. I try not to engage with them. In my life for 2 secs, hopefully no encounter with them ever again

You should have let it go. Toddlers can be annoying.

I don't understand why you justified your toddlers behaviour, you should have been watching them. I'd have just said sorry. You made yourself look like a dick. Especially then making further comments

Most people would see a very young child dicking around in the manner you describe and ignore it. Toddlers do stuff like that.
Some might roll their eyes and/or tut. At worst one might say something along the "oi, hang on! I'm trying to get off" or "please could you make sure your child doesn't press that button" or similar. At worst one might curse under one's breath.

Either way, you should have been trying to stop your child dicking around and, if people complained, apologised for your child being a dick. I have to do this all the time because toddler DO behave like total dicks at times.

It's excessive in the extreme to call you cnt though.

I have an enormous potty mouth and use that word fairly frequently. I'd not dream of using it towards someone with very small kids who was trying their best to stop said very small children causing chaos.

Man on the bike, in this example, was understandably a little annoyed. I get it. To tut, to say 'hey!!!' and say 'ffs' under his breath is understandable. To call you a cnt is out of order.

But you made the situation worse by not taking responsibility for your child dicking around.

The man was wrong but you handled it very badly. I'd have ignored him and just got on with moving forward. If it was appropriate to just politely say, "Sorry." That's all you should have said then continued moving. He probably got more annoyed when you starting trying to justify things with, "He's just a toddler." He is just a toddler but it negates your apology when you start to justify. You most definitely shouldn't have kept it going by approaching the man again.

Whenever you can, the best approach is always to de-escalate because you just don't know who you are dealing with and what they might be capable of/how they might respond. Even if you're in the right.

Not sure you’ve considered the number of people who record anything they see on public transport, as well as CCTV.

If someone recorded this and you and DH were seen giving chase to this man and verbally confronting him, I’d be worried you don’t come off well.

Your subject line is disingenuous.

It just happens this man was on the train.
It didn't occur on the train.

You picked a row with someone who you say made some comments about your toddler's behaviour.
But the comments bear no relation to what your child did.

You wanted to make your thread appear as if it occurred on the train and you were at risk.

The reality is your decided to pursue this man and make it into an argument.

What an awful man! Clearly you know that it would have been best not to comment further so take it as a lesson - unbelievable that anyone could act like him…

Not a nice dude. Just ignore.

Alternatively you could pretend that you were on an Australian train. Cunt is often used as a term of endearment here.

Should he have said that - no.

However, you shouldn’t have gone after him again (at all and certainly not with children in tow) and THEN the DH gets involved as well. For what? Pressing buttons on doors.

What example do you think you’ve set here?

All of you sound very aggressive and need to calm down.

The man was rude and aggressive. But your child should not be touching door buttons.

he's a cyclist, he'll only own a hi vis vest and a look of rage.

That is a seriously sensible explanation for him not paying any attention to OP wittering at him.

Also for all the “don’t swear in front of the children” he muttered it at you and you shout after him “DONT CALL ME A CUNT”

Ye you don't start trying having debates with aggressive strangers when you have children with you not worth the risk.