Called a c*nt by fellow train passenger - AIBU

Agree.

And toddlers shouldn't really vibe allowed to press buttons on trains.

He was rude but you were antagonistic.Instead of letting it go you didn’t let it drop and then had to be rescued by your husband.

You behaved like that in front of your child.

Jeez this is just awful.

@Trainride123 The reason I'm much more careful now with calling people out on aggressive behaviours it that I too got beaten up by a random woman years ago {I'm a woman} in a public place.

• There are lots of people around with serious anger/mental health issues.

You made a half arsed apology which he ignored. You then chose to follow after him to call him rude. Did you really expect a good outcome from that? You sound like the type of person who goes all "mama bear" and thinks people should never get annoyed by, or say a bad word about, her child. You shouldn't have escalated. He shouldn't have called you a cunt or made fun of you.

His 'crime' was being frustrated and saying 'seriously'. Then he forgot about it, ignored you and tried to move on with his day. You decided to be like a dog with a bone and follow him to give him an arrogant lesson in manners then are surprised when he reacts?

You were both knobs.

The thing to think is "what do I stand to gain by what I am about to say?" Seriously: did you benefit from telling him he was rude? Was he going to change his behaviour because you did? If neither of you was going to get anything from it, there really wasn't much point in saying anything.

This.

FAR better to say nothing.

There are too many angry people about -both men and women- to ''escalate''.

By going after him, and calling him ''Rude'' he was obviously going to retaliate as he was clearly in a grump at a kid messing with the buttons on the train while he was trying to get a bike off {personally I think bikes need their OWN carriage so as not to get in people's way.}

Too true

I think if you deliberately go over to tell a total stranger they are rude, you can't be entirely surprised if they call you a cunt. Rude people tend to be rude.

He was rude, yes. You were stupid to go over and aggravate someone you felt lacked the social graces. In future I wouldn't escalate situations, particularly if you have a child with you.

He was rude but you shouldn't escalate when you have kids with you.

Making fun of your facial condition and asking what car your DH has should have been the point to call the police. Asking about the car implies a threat to damage it at some point.

Regardless of whether or not either of you were reasonable beforehand.

It really wasn't worth it op and he could have become violent

Some people have a short fuse. He probably hates his own behaviour.

I think you’re absolutely right to have called him out, otherwise he’ll think it’s alright to insult people. Also your DH should have twatted him after he’d been rude about you.

I can understand why you felt the urge to go back, but it was an impulse you should have resisted. I always think of the woman who stuck two fingers up at a motorist who cut her up in America. He shot her toddler dead in his car seat. It’s never worth engaging with this sort of man as they are highly unlikely to back down.

This! 😆

When we were all out I turned around and apologised to him but also said that he's only a toddler and nothing actually happened to the door. The man totally ignored me, didn't even look at me. We all walked out of the barriers.

I was so annoyed about his comment and then that he ignored me, that when I came across him again 30 seconds later, I told him he'd been rude.

a) These sorts of “sorry not sorry” faux apologies are worse than saying nothing because they sound insincere or even passive-aggressive. Turning and saying “sorry about that” without racking on any excuse was the best course of action, even if your toddler didn’t know better and meant no harm. Same as if you accidentally bump into someone. The next best option was to simply not engage at all and pretend you hadn’t heard his grumbling.

b) He ignored you. That’s it. He wasn’t friendly or gracious ignoring your half apology, but he was not mean or aggressive. And yet you chose to re-engage in an abrasive way. What did you hope to gain? Maybe he would apologize to you for not adequately responding to your sort-of-apology? That’s not worth escalating a situation with a strange man, especially when you have a toddler with you.

He was an absolute arse to call you that word or make fun of your face. But it wasn’t worth engaging him to begin with and it certainly isn’t worth staying upset now.

“The man totally ignored me, didn't even look at me. We all walked out of the barriers.”

And that’s where you should have left it and gone about your day. You apologised on behalf of your toddler that’s all that was needed. Instead you escalated it! You acknowledge you shouldn’t have confronted him and what your toddler did was wrong (they are a toddler so obviously still learning not everything can be touched) but he reacted to you. If toddler hadn’t of pressed buttons, if you hadn’t felt the need to tell him he was rude when you saw him again then the whole thing wouldn’t of even happened

Yeah you were wrong to go back for seconds. As someone upthread said he could have had a weapon, you just never know.

If I had a go at everyone who had annoyed me this summer or commented on my kids, it would make for a very unpleasant 6 weeks. A woman called my DS annoying and loud just last weekend. Me and him looked at each other and laughed. I’d never start a fight with her about it.

Sometimes it's better to leave well enough alone .. it's not right in front of your young children for him t hav done that and it speaks to his character - but sometimes getting the last word isn't always worth it.

Why on earth did you keep going back for more? You re-approached him twice - you should have just left it at the train doors. He was absolutely rude and his language totally uncalled for, but then again maybe your child annoyed someone who was already in a bad mood and you wouldn't let it go.

It all sounds rather strange, why would he ask which car is yours for? And then insult you in front of your Husband.

Your toddler was being a toddler and no harm done. People commuting are so blooming inpatient. But I agree, you could have put yourself and your DC in danger, as you’ve no idea what random strangers are capable of. I have the same problem and there’s been times I’ve had to same something but I’m learning not to, as it’s really not worth it, especially with young children around.

The man told him that he doesn't know what my problem is as I was behind him on the train and he's already apologised to me, asked my DH which car in the car park was his, then said to let's just leave things, then made fun of a facial condition I have and laughed, and rode off on his bike.

It’s also a bit crazy that he went from claiming he had apologised and saying to just leave things to making fun of you again before riding off? He sounds unhinged.