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AIBU?

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Am I unreasonable to be annoyed with partner?!

88 replies

annoyedatpartner · 28/08/2024 18:21

DP, teen DD and I have life 360 app on our phones. For various reasons but it's practical and useful for us as a family to know where each other is. Everyone js happy with it, everyone is an adult and has consented to location being tracked - before anyone asks about that.

Anyway - to the point, DP left for night shift half an hour ago and I have just received a notification on the app that he had a "dangerous drive" - never seen that pop up before, so clicked on it. It tells me his top speed going to work was 104mph!? I'm annoyed about this as I think this is unnecessarily reckless. He was clearly late and rushing but still, surely there's no need to do that sort of speed! Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
annoyedatpartner · 28/08/2024 20:32

thursdaymurderclub · 28/08/2024 20:28

has he only ever been caught on your app speeding this once?

i really don't like the idea of parents tracking their adult children and partners on apps, its reeks of control and mistrust.

he's an adult, he's making his own choices... it wouldn't surprise me if the app was wrong..

find a better hobby than tracking your family

Edited

yes it's definitely a "hobby". That's exactly what "for practical reasons" means. A hobby. 👍🏻🙄

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annoyedatpartner · 28/08/2024 20:31

Didimum · 28/08/2024 20:31

Jesus, does this have to turn into yet another ‘boo to tracking apps’ disaster thread? Some people use them, go take a bath and forget about it.

😂

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annoyedatpartner · 28/08/2024 20:31

Icanttakethisanymore · 28/08/2024 20:23

I wouldn’t be quizzing my DP about how fast he’d been driving. Id ignore it and also turn that function off for the future. That’s not a level of detail I need to have about my DPs behaviour when I’m not around. I can see how some of the functions might be useful but not this one.

I haven't consciously set any of the features. I don't even fully understand the app to be honest. As I said in my OP, I was randomly notified of a "dangerous speed" or words to that effect. It popped up as a notification and so I naturally clicked on it. I didn't realise until today that it was a feature. And I didn't "quiz" him, I asked him once if he'd done over 100mph as the app had notified me, and said I felt that was unsafe if it was accurate. That's hardly quizzing.

I do feel people are getting hung up on details that aren't relevant. Regardless of the reason I know about it, my point is that I feel it's reckless and unsafe.

OP posts:
Didimum · 28/08/2024 20:31

Jesus, does this have to turn into yet another ‘boo to tracking apps’ disaster thread? Some people use them, go take a bath and forget about it.

Skyrainlight · 28/08/2024 20:29

I would be furious.

thursdaymurderclub · 28/08/2024 20:28

has he only ever been caught on your app speeding this once?

i really don't like the idea of parents tracking their adult children and partners on apps, its reeks of control and mistrust.

he's an adult, he's making his own choices... it wouldn't surprise me if the app was wrong..

find a better hobby than tracking your family

ThatFlightyTemptress · 28/08/2024 20:24

Every single time I’m on a motorway I see cars driving this fast. Not saying it’s right, but it’s totally common

Icanttakethisanymore · 28/08/2024 20:23

I wouldn’t be quizzing my DP about how fast he’d been driving. Id ignore it and also turn that function off for the future. That’s not a level of detail I need to have about my DPs behaviour when I’m not around. I can see how some of the functions might be useful but not this one.

AgileGreenSeal · 28/08/2024 20:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

👀

80s 1980s GIF
annoyedatpartner · 28/08/2024 20:16

Imagine driving so fast that you obviously don’t give a fuck about your wife and child.

Exactly. Or anyone else for that matter.

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Thevelvelletes · 28/08/2024 20:16

KendraTheVampyrSlayer · 28/08/2024 20:00

Yes I don't think it's accurate, it said dd1 was walking at 50mph the other day when she was walking the dog!

Walking a dog at 50mph.gave me visions of a doggy with smoking paw's.

annoyedatpartner · 28/08/2024 20:15

@BeaRF75 he was doing that speed, he told me he was.

It's nothing to do with me that my partner drives recklessly, potentially endangering his own life and that of others? Oh ok, fair enough. My mistake. I mean, what does it matter if he ends up dead? I'll only have a traumatised child without a father. None of my business after all.

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ComealongMartha · 28/08/2024 20:15

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Imagine driving so fast that you obviously don’t give a fuck about your wife and child.

We don’t use those apps and I have no desire to see where Dh is but I would like to think that he would not go out of his way to put himself in danger.

BeaRF75 · 28/08/2024 20:11

Probably not accurate, and yet another reason why these tracking apps are pointless and stupid. Just ignore it, OP.
Even if he was doing that speed, it's not really anything to do with you, so ignorance would be bliss.

annoyedatpartner · 28/08/2024 20:09

AsYouWiiiiiiiiiiiiish · 28/08/2024 18:31

It's not just about what would happen to him either... could kill someone else. A car full of kids!!!

Not to mention if he got banned from driving and lost his job.

How reckless and stupid is he!?

It was also on the same motorway that this happened back in May:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cnk4q7p8jnpo.amp

Yes, ok, the man in that case was doing 140 mph and was also significantly over the drink drive limit but still, his actions wiped out a baby and his mother. That happened a few miles from where we live on the same motorway. So maybe I'm a little sensitive about it as that was utterly horrific.

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TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 28/08/2024 20:03

AgileGreenSeal · 28/08/2024 19:20

I’m shocked. 😮
I wasn’t aware this level of surveillance was a reality. This is the stuff of a dystopian novel.

Same!

KendraTheVampyrSlayer · 28/08/2024 20:01

annoyedatpartner · 28/08/2024 18:43

I've messaged him, he admitted he clocked he was doing 100 at one point and immediately slowed down. Said he hadn't realised. So it does sound pretty accurate.

Oh, cross posts.

KendraTheVampyrSlayer · 28/08/2024 20:00

Bazinga007 · 28/08/2024 18:40

My life 360 told me that I did 229 mph the other day, so I am not sure how accurate and reliable it is.

I doubt my car could even do half of that speed downhill with the wind behind us.

Yes I don't think it's accurate, it said dd1 was walking at 50mph the other day when she was walking the dog!

Heedthaball · 28/08/2024 19:39

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annoyedatpartner · 28/08/2024 19:37

@Heedthaball I updated an hour ago about that

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Heedthaball · 28/08/2024 19:37

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annoyedatpartner · 28/08/2024 19:32

Thanks to those who actually stuck to the topic in my OP and answered my question 😀

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annoyedatpartner · 28/08/2024 19:31

Wow people do enjoy twisting an OP and inventing exciting little fictional narratives don't they 🤣

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AgileGreenSeal · 28/08/2024 19:20

I’m shocked. 😮
I wasn’t aware this level of surveillance was a reality. This is the stuff of a dystopian novel.

annoyedatpartner · 28/08/2024 18:55

And I didn't mention "personal safety" in my OP? I said it was for practical reasons.

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