Can't be bothered to cook for son

I meant that no it doesn't sound similar.
He has access to the fridge and he does use it, he just uses it for beer instead.

Full-grown working adults should be paying their way in life. I used to pay 1/3rd of all the household bills in a house of three adults when I lived at home. And not all families can afford to keep on a larger house for all the grown kids who expect to be fed and provided with despite often out-earning their parents.

In OPs situation though the simple thing is to
A. Do a shop for everyone, empty the beer out of the fridge and fill it with food
B. Buy food that doesn't need refrigeration / freezing
C. Charge him less rent so he buys his own food

He could do an on-line food shop & deduct the cost from his rent.

Get a cool box for the beer.

It doesn’t grind you down?

Oh thanks for that. I wish I’d have known that 15 years ago when I was experiencing it.

No it doesn't.
He clearly is allowed to use the fridge seeing as him and the dad are filling it with beer.

More to the point, when op’s baby is born how is she going to store the baby’s food when the baby moves on to solids? Or is some space just miraculously going to become available in the fridge? 🤔 Works both ways.

Everyones 'allowed' to eat! There's just no room to store loads of food in the fridge because of the beer.

Perhaps she's only directing her frustrations at the DS because he's the one expecting a cooked dinner every evening and the DH isn't?

I

How old’s your son, OP? Does he work out of the house?

You absolutely shouldn’t cook for him alone if you don’t want to. My son’s early 20s and cooks for the whole family at least once a week, often with food he’s bought himself.

But if he cooks his own meals then he’ll need somewhere to store the food. It’s a bit much having to shop every day. And maybe he should get a discount on his rent if it originally included food. If it’s his beer in the fridge, then he’ll have to store it elsewhere other than the odd can chilling.

I don't believe this is a genuine post. Mother charging her son to live at home? Mother begrudging her son food? Either this is a sick joke or this is not a family but a bunch of flatmates.

It's not rent exactly, it's for his food and shelter. Yes I know, it's a joke.

I am wondering if the op wants him to leave home now she is having a baby. She may feel the place will be too crowded once the baby is born and there certainly won't be any more room in the fridge or freezer.

A sad business. Poor lad must feel unwanted. Someone will want him though and then he won't want his parents. What goes around comes around.

Your son pays you rent...?

She doesn’t. But she does therefore have to allow him to have food stored in the house to cook himself, as she is charging him £400 a month which she says includes food

she cannot do this and expect him to then go out every day to buy just what he needs that day to eat, because she will not make provisions for him to store food at home.

You either have to feed the man or let him have fridge space to feed himself. Either is fine but not neither. This is not a complicated issue.

You can get some fridges with a small built in freezer. I’ve just come back from holiday and was staying in an apartment which had one of these. So if it’s one of those types of freezer then it’s basically only a small compartment inside the fridge and doesn’t fit much frozen food in it.

However, I agree about the fridge - I would also like to see a picture of the fridge and how so much beer has been allowed to take over it.

My DS has recently returned home after graduation. I also don't always want to cook in the evening - certainly don't when it's just me. I also feel obliged to either have a meal prepared or at least options for him to prepare something. We have a small fridge (no room for larger) and I make sure there are things that can be cooked in it if I don't want to cook. On the occasions I don't want to cook, or can't because I'm out, I find he generally gets himself a takeaway. His choice.

If your fridge is full of beer then it's an easy conversation: the fridge can't accommodate all this beer as well as enough food so just keep a few beers in it please so that I can provide you with food you can cook.

Are you crazy. She takes money off him but won't allow him to put his own ingredients in the fridge!!

This is either made up or you're crazy. What kind of a mum are you?? Cook the boy some bloody dinner or get some food in for him to cook . You steal £400 off him and then come here on mumsnet to bad mouth him. And what's this utter nonsense about space in the fridge and freezer.. you don't do any cooking yourself so what's eating up (excuse the pun) all the space.

Yes I did, thanks for pointing that out. In which case, another fridge is indicated surely.

That’s so sad to read.

He's an adult, right?
Being able to feed yourself is a pretty basic life skill.
Are you expected to be maid and bottle-washer because you're female?
Fuck that.

It sounds very similar to the set up at my parents’ house. I wasn’t allowed to use the washing machine, wasn’t allowed to put my clothes in with theirs, when I started going to a laundrette I was “always having to make a spiteful point”. I wasn’t allowed to cook my own food, eat their food and when I ate out I was again “making a point”.
It grinds you down. I am no longer in contact with them.

If he brought a bag or 2 of shopping home, would you let him store it?

You say you don’t have fridge/freezer space but what about cupboard space?
Things like beans, pasta, rice etc

He could get a packet of spaghetti, jar of bolognaise sauce and packet of mince which is easy to cook and last a couple of meals at least.

He should have a shelf in the cupboard and a shelf in the fridge.

Tell him to look in the freezer and make meals from that meat.
You and DH may need to help him with this.
He can plan his weekly meals and buy the dry ingredients for it and then take out the needed meat the night before.

If the fridge is full of beer then they need to put less in and replace them as they get drunk.

How old is he?

It would be easier to meal plan and cook a proper meal but a large portion that can be had over a couple of days, than what you’re doing now.

Give him a shelf in the fridge and cupboard space and he can shop, cook and clear up after himself. You could reduce his rent so it doesn’t include shopping and your time cooking.

Sounds more like a house share than a family. All sounds a bit cold and uncaring.