Can't be bothered to cook for son

It screams alcohol issues to me. Not eating properly and the only fridge full of alcohol to the extent that enough ingredients for a meal wont fit too. Nobody in the house has the ability to make a meal. And a baby on the way.

Also, as a pp said, I'm assume that she wasn't 'allowed' to move them, because people with drinking problems could get nasty about stuff like that.

I think it’s the choice of words people use to describe something that seems to have become somewhat of an inside joke on MN. Using words such as ‘massive’ to describe the salad. Obviously it might be a large salad but I cannot imagine it being ‘massive’. Again the reference that poster made about ‘never ending chicken’. I mean it’s not going to be ‘never ending’ is it? But someone must have obviously described a chicken in that way in a previous thread.

I'm sorry I genuinely don't know this. However I'll look out for the massive salad thing on here from now

This is such a weird home set up.

But he's DH's son not yours so it's his responsibility to cook/provide for him.

As in: The famous MN “Massive Salad” up there with the Never Ending Roast Chicken!

It's not about fridge space it's about a dysfunctional family where nobody has any consideration for anyone else and nobody ever eats at home.

But surely a family is something different from a bunch of adults sharing expenses? Of course everyone contributes to it, but this arrangement seems utterly cold. I agree with a pp: what goes around, comes around. We then get all those stupid articles from older parents blaming therapists for their estranged relationships with adult children. It seems to me there has to be another way...

I totally agree! It's your son not hard to make a meal which can last 2 days what kind of mother are you!

No idea what she’s going to do when the baby gets here - well put it this way, if she’s not feeding the baby properly and there’s no room in the fridge due to excessive amounts of beer taking up all the room then social services will most likely end up getting involved somehow. Then she will HAVE to do something.

I have I already replied to you before and said they might be alcoholics! So yes I have taken that into consideration! If the fridge situation is really as bad as op claims then I would say DH definitely has an alcohol problem and DS might be following in his footsteps.
And if they get nasty if op tells them she wants the beers removing then she really does need to think about her baby and maybe try and move out - because beer in exchange for putting food in the fridge is not the way to live with a small baby.

Either way, the op herself seems to have strange eating habits which many people have commented on. The whole thread seems extremely bizarre. What I have come to realise though is although you might not see it, the DS also seems to be the victim of some sort of abuse - grew up never having a proper meal, has to pay £400, some of which goes towards his food but there’s never food in the house for him, he’s told not to buy it himself because there’s no room in the fridge but op moans because she has to go out and buy it for him! Both op and her DH don’t seem to care how the DS eats or if he eats at all. There seems to be a complete disregard to his feelings in all this and this has been my argument all along. Yes he’s an adult but I assume still quite a young adult.

If he wants a home cooked meal then he should make it himself. You should make space in the fridge for the food. For a dinner for one person this should be doable.

No idea what she's going to do when the baby gets here.

I wouldn't be so sure that she's happy to just sit there and let the beers take over, she sounds passive about it sure, but I would say that if there's a fridge full of beers that there's probably a drinking problem at play here.

If it’s such an issue to her why doesn’t she just move the damn beers herself! “Why should she have to when she didn’t put them there?” You might say

No that's not what I'd say. I'm assume that she wasn't 'allowed' to move them, because people with drinking problems could get nasty about stuff like that.

I agree! What sort of people stock up on a fridge full of beer to the extent there is no room in the fridge for food! It’s all just weird, very weird!

This is all very bizarre and screams ‘food issues’ to me.

As I said earlier in the thread, op is having a baby. What’s she going to do? Just not feed the baby because there is no room in the fridge?? It’s just crazy if you ask me!

I haven’t decided she’s lying, I believe she is telling the truth about the beers. But she’s happy to sit there and let the beers take over the fridge whilst making some bullshit excuse there’s no room for food! And before you say it’s not her problem- maybe not but it’s no use coming on here moaning about it! If it’s such an issue to her why doesn’t she just move the damn beers herself! “Why should she have to when she didn’t put them there?” You might say - Ok if she wants to have that attitude then fine but why create a thread on here moaning about it rather than doing something about it! Just seems she’s happy with her massive salad one meal a day at work, stuff the ds!!

How much beer are they drinking?
Do they drink every day?

Why are you responsible for cooking?
Why isn't his Dad worrying about it.

Why? I make massive salads too

I'm taking the OPs post as she wrote them that there is no room in the fridge and that she's not just making up some bullshit reason about why he can't store food.

She's allowed to have a moan for gods sake, that doesn't mean she's making him into a scapegoat, and she only 'seems to be contributing' because you've decided that she's just lying that there's no fridge space for him to store the food, and then going off out playing the martyr in the shops every evening.

Well maybe if they she actually allowed him to buy his own food (yes allowed him rather than making some bullshit excuse that there is nowhere to store it if he does buy it) then she wouldn’t need to go to the shop to buy it for him would she!!

An inconvenience to her and making him into a scapegoat by coming on here writing threads moaning about him when she seems to be actually contributing to what she’s moaning about - apart from the beer of course 🙄

I have no sympathy for the op!

Just on here to snigger at the perfectly placed mention in your OP of the ‘massive salad’ - a Mumsnet classic 😂😂😂

EDIT: I missed ‘picky tea’ and ‘picky bits’ hahaha

All credit to whichever Tattler thought this up.
🤣

Yes and then she goes out and she gets the food and then she cooks the food, then she came on here for a moan about it. Big deal.

An inconvenient scapegoat? For what exactly? 🤔

All your points have been done to death also.

"picky tea" "picky bits" and a "massive salad"

Loving your work OP!!😂

And my point still stands… the DS is paying £400 per month to her/ DH/ both - whichever! And according to op, some of that money goes towards his food. Op said that when he comes home from work, there’s no ingredients in the fridge to make himself something, yet op said herself that money is taken from the £400 to pay for food - yet there’s no food in the fridge for him! She said she then goes to the shop to buy him something because if he goes himself he will buy a load of stuff and there is no space in the fridge for it.

People are ‘piling on’ the op because despite her claiming that she treats the DS like her own, she seems to not actually give a shit about how/ when/ if he eats, neither does his dad for that matter! But op is quick to come on here and turn the DS into some sort of inconvenient scapegoat! And that is WHY I feel sorry for him, regardless of the beer situation, which is 50% down to the DH (and has now been done to death already on this thread)!

Either reduce his keep (quite a lot) and provide him with some storage space etc. to do his own meals or cook for him - at the end of the day, while you may be content with 'picky bits' or salad, I know of very few people (and certainly my own four boys and husband) who'd be happy and healthy living like that. It sounds like you like your step son, which I'm glad about - but this attitude towards his eating sounds contrary to that, which I'm sure you don't want him to feel.

It's probably both of them that are charging him, and not just the OP.

The son has lived with the the dad since he was small, since before the OP was on the scene, and it seems that he didn't cook for him as they lived off takeaways. It's obviously never been a house where there was a hot homecooked meal provided but the father and son had that set up since before the OP came on the scene.

The DH is far more to blame than the OP yet there's been a huge pile on the OP making out that she's caused this situation.

She's moaning about it, yet she's still doing it.
The DH could do the cooking and the planning what to eat and the shopping, or even bring him home some food when they eat out, he could prioritize food in the fridge or buy a new one but it's all put on the OP like it's her responsibility.