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Original poster

Can't be bothered to cook for son

515 replies

palmtreesands · 28/08/2024 14:57

We only have limited fridge and freezer space so him buying his own shopping is not an option.
Dh eats at work and I like to take a massive salad to work among other things and pick so don't eat again in the evening.
Ds comes home from work expecting a home cooked dinner and I find it such a headache, if I haven't cooked or we've eaten I out as we sometimes do he expects their to be ingredients to make himself something to eat.... their often isn't and I am racing up the shop to buy him something to make but as I said food has to be included in his monthly contribution otherwise he'll come back with shopping that we don't have room for.
Aibu to let this stress me out so much, I'm hot and bothered and don't want the headache of feeding him but he pays £400 a month to live here so expects there to be food to eat and I can't be bothered with the hassle of always making sure there's something in when we don't have family meals.

OP posts:
OneSparklyPeachDreamer · 28/08/2024 15:13

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SonicTheHodgeheg · 28/08/2024 15:13

Have you thought about reducing his contribution and getting him to do his own food shopping if it’s too hard for you? I don’t think that you have to cook but having him do his own food shopping and cooking could be the answer?

TheFlis · 28/08/2024 15:13

If you only eat salads and your DH eats at work, what is the fridge and freezer filled up with?

OneSparklyPeachDreamer · 28/08/2024 15:13

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Putting · 28/08/2024 15:12

palmtreesands · 28/08/2024 15:11

I don't do a weekly shop, I haven't for years. I just buy a few bits as I go along as nobody else eats at home.
I usually get home and there's nothing so I have to go to the shop and think of something for him to have and I find it so frustrating.
The fridge is full up with their beer and snacks so I barely have room to put any fruits and vegetables for myself let alone meat and vegetables.
They're not my beer and snacks and that's just what they want in there.

Then take the beer and snacks out and get the men to buy a separate beer and snacks fridge. Divide the main fridge up 2/3 to you and your partner, 1/3 to your son. Then reduce his rent and tell him to sort his own food out.

WickerwomanIamnot · 28/08/2024 15:12

what exactly prevents him from cooking his own meals. I suppose he is an adult as he works.

Original poster
palmtreesands · 28/08/2024 15:11

I don't do a weekly shop, I haven't for years. I just buy a few bits as I go along as nobody else eats at home.
I usually get home and there's nothing so I have to go to the shop and think of something for him to have and I find it so frustrating.
The fridge is full up with their beer and snacks so I barely have room to put any fruits and vegetables for myself let alone meat and vegetables.
They're not my beer and snacks and that's just what they want in there.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 28/08/2024 15:11

This is all bonkers for an adult unless there's some needs or travel issues you haven't detailed.

My children have been getting their own food since there were about 12. I would look at them as if they were quite mad if they expected me to prepare theirs after work. It is outrageously entitled and sexist.

The reasons we all get our own food is I'm often at work when they're hungry, or we have sports to work around, and one of them is on a very healthy whole foods only diet which I don't want.

There is no way on earth in the details you've given that you should be making his food, or buying his food, and how dare he expect it.

Babadook76 · 28/08/2024 15:11

Hesma · 28/08/2024 15:02

I take it he’s an adult… if so then he can cook for himself

Why is everyone missing the issue being that he’s not allowed to put his food in the fridge/freezer

Idontjetwashthefucker · 28/08/2024 15:10

If this is true then you're very, very mean and very, very weird!

Normallynumb · 28/08/2024 15:09

He's paying £400 per month but you won't cook for him, let him store food to cook for himself as you say you have no fridge space??
What a way to treat your own son!!
What are you expecting him to do, starve?
If you bought a little more food yourself he could cook for all of you
If you don't want to buy a bigger fridge then suggest you do 2 smaller shops, 1 each. Jeez

itsthewordsmorethenanything · 28/08/2024 15:09

Just to add, I live in a household with me my husband and one adult son. My son pays abit less than what your son pays but does buy his own food 99% of the time.
He brought himself a small freezer that he keeps in the conservatory and he has one shelf of the fridge that is for his food, me and DH use the other two shelves, can't you give him that and take less money from him?

Fortesque · 28/08/2024 15:09

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Babadook76 · 28/08/2024 15:09

BananaGrapeMelon · 28/08/2024 15:07

Just let him shop and cook for himself OP.

Reread the thread. The op had said he’s not allowed to store his food shop in her house, not that he’s refusing to cook or shop for himself

Fortesque · 28/08/2024 15:08

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Doltontweedle · 28/08/2024 15:08

Hesma · 28/08/2024 15:02

I take it he’s an adult… if so then he can cook for himself

Reread the thread. It’s not that he’s said he won’t cook for himself. The op will not allow him to use the fridge or freezer in his own house. Where do you expect him to eat op? Or is he expected to survive off pot noodles?

MerryMarys · 28/08/2024 15:08

So he can't buy his own food as you have no space for him to do so, you don't want to buy food for him and you won't cook for him. What a way to treat your own son.

And he has to pay £400 per month Shock

Okokokokokish · 28/08/2024 15:07

Boomer55 · 28/08/2024 15:06

If he’s paying £400 per month, you really need to be supplying food for him to eat/cook, even if you can’t be bothered to cook it.

Can’t you buy a bigger fridge/freezer?🤷‍♀️

This…your poor son !

BananaGrapeMelon · 28/08/2024 15:07

Just let him shop and cook for himself OP.

Doltontweedle · 28/08/2024 15:06

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But she’s said he’s not allowed to store food in the house as the fridge and freezer are for her and her partner. Who don’t eat dinner apparently. I wouldn’t expect a working adult to go shopping for his tea every single day of the week, as he’s banned from using the fridge/freezer at the house he’s contributing towards

OneSparklyPeachDreamer · 28/08/2024 15:06

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Boomer55 · 28/08/2024 15:06

If he’s paying £400 per month, you really need to be supplying food for him to eat/cook, even if you can’t be bothered to cook it.

Can’t you buy a bigger fridge/freezer?🤷‍♀️

itsthewordsmorethenanything · 28/08/2024 15:05

You're not really giving him an option, what do you suggest he does?

Beth216 · 28/08/2024 15:05

I don't understand, do you not have a fridge? Is your fridge filled up with all your massive salads? Why don't you have a small salad at lunch and then make a meal for everyone in the evening? Or let him make a meal for everyone in the evening?

OneSparklyPeachDreamer · 28/08/2024 15:04

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