Can't be bothered to cook for son

You need to get a bigger fridge and let him cook for himself.

What's wrong with people?

Like you, they don't RTFT.

I also think this is a wind-up* but that's not the problem. The problem is all the BoyMoms on here who think the sun shines out of their son's penises. Stop raising your sons to believe that women are appliances who exist for them to use at will.
I suspect this is where a lot of the failure-to-launch-cocklodgers are coming from. (See the catlodger thread.)

*As if 2 grown men aren't perfectly capable of making room in the fridge for food without the subservient wifey being involved.

What baby? I must have missed something somewhere🤷‍♀️ If there’s no room for another fridge, how the heck are they all going to cope with a baby in the house?

Why not? Why would you take £400 a week off of your son.
That's not how families should behave with eachother, how is he meant to save anything.
She can't be bothered to cook for him, what's she going to do when the baby comes along.
Were your wages taken from you?
What's wrong with people 😬

Well it’s definitely not functional. It sounds almost surreal.

Utterly dysfunctional feeding habits! It sounds like you all might need to consider what sort of effects your strange choices with food are having, on your health, your spending, your relationships. It sounds like the only one prepared to try any meal preparation is the son, but he’s not allowed to have his own food! You all need to sit down and talk, get the drinks out the fridge, learn how to prep meals, store and freeze, try and prepare a meal either together, or set up a rota so that a different person cooks each evening. Effort is all that’s required, from everyone.

I agree. The lack of proper meals and only eating one meal a day which is salad, then picking at food….. beer taking up all the room in the fridge…. the can’t be arsed attitude…. the neglectful attitude of the DS. The more I think about it the more I’m starting to think that they are alcoholics.

Most people eat at lunchtime and dinner time, it’s not an either or. Your DH eats at work so doesn’t eat at home? That’s odd as well. This entire thing just doesn’t sound like the way people normally choose to live. Could you all at least get a slow cooker or something so something can be thrown in and ready later, I can’t imagine food never being cooked at home. What do you all do at the weekends?

It is the strangest of dynamics and now a baby is going to be in this bizarre set up.

He's not allowed to buy food and put it in the fridge though so what is he meant to do?

Are you made?
Why accept being a skivvy to him?
Tell your husband to cook if he wants but you are done.
I wouldn't do this for my own son, not a chance.
Tell the lazy sod to move out or buy his own meal to cook.

Talk about absolute madness.
Under pressure to cook a meal you won't eat for another adult.

I bet you really are the house skivvy.
Find some self respect and tell both men to sort themselves out.

Op did you move in with them or did they move in with you? I assume it was quite recently as you are not in the habit of cooking for the family. You also say, ‘you have a lot to learn’ as if this is all new to you. I’m trying to work out the dynamic as it’s odd.

I am also wondering how the finances work re the stepson’s rent and why you are in charge of getting the food. Was he already paying his father before you came along? How did it work then?

If OP has agreed the £400 covers food, then it covers food.

It sounds as though DS is quite happy to buy his own food, but OP has told him not to as there is nowhere to put it.

@redskydarknight ah ok. I can't advance search for some reason. I used to be able to, but now if I try and search a poster it just says unavailable

He’s an adult with a job. £400 is towards the cost of heat, electricity, water, share of council tax etc (probably you doing his washing and so on as well!). It shouldn’t cover extra food. If he wants food over and above what’s in the cupboards/fridge then he needs to buy it himself, you certainly shouldn’t be rushing out to buy it for him.

Posters have advanced searched and apparently OP has recently posted about being 34(?) weeks pregnant.

yabu for using the phrased picky tea and massive salad

Where does it mention OP is pregnant? I've re read OP's posts over and over again and can't see anything about her being pregnant on them.

OP - nicely. You, your DH and your step son need to get better at communicating - fast.

If you are already unable to sort out what should be a fairly simple issue, then how are you going to cope with a new baby, lack of sleep and all the challenges that that throws up?

Otherwise I look forward to your thread in a few months detailing how, not only does DH do nothing, but he and DSS actively make your life more difficult.

I expect it's all already been said but I can't read nearly 500 replies.

But what is he supposed to do if you don't want to cook for him, don't want to buy food for him to cook himself, and don't want him to buy his own food to cook himself?

It sounds as if he's just a big inconvenience for you to have around, a nuisance in his own home. I feel sorry first him. And he pays £400 pm first this experience.

I think you must reduce his rent and tell him to buy and cook his own food, and then provide somewhere for him to store it.

She refers to him as her son in the title and says she thinks of him as her son. Anyway my problem with it is not that she's responsible for all food in the house but that 3 apparent adults can't sort this out themselves. Do they never speak?

@aleesh4

why are you aren’t you asking what kind of father his father is?

Oh yes I seem to remember reading that thread. Don’t think I’d like to eat chicken that’s a few weeks old, if that makes me gluttonous then so be it. 🤣

It’s the ridiculous insistence on a lot of competitive underrating threads that a whole supermarket roast chicken can feed a family of four for multiple meals over a week and if it doesn’t you are somehow gluttonous

What do you actually want him to do, not eat?!

My eldest is working and pays board which includes food. I do a meal plan for the week, if he doesn't like/fancy the planned meal, he sorts himself out. If he tells me before I've done the shopping I'll get him alternatives that he can make himself.

I also have other teens who are in education but have a lot of after school commitments and it's similar, if theyre not home when I cook ill offer to do them a plate or the fridge and freezer are stocked with basics they can make themselves if they prefer.

Yanbu not to want to cook but yabu not giving him the means to cook for himself