Can't be bothered to cook for son

Take the beer out of the fridge and reduce your DS’s contribution by £150/£200 a month and he looks after his own food?

If you’re pregnant now - you will need a plan for extra food space for your baby anyway within a year. Where did you keep your DS’s food when he was younger ?

This sounds incredibly disorganised, I couldn't live like that. I have grandsons between 13 and 20 who all contribute to cooking meals at home but it involves some planning which you, your partner and your son could all take part in.

Surely you can take some of the beer and snacks out of the fridge and then there would be space for ingredients? Honestly I don't see an issue here?
Either you buy the ingredients in your normal shop - or your son does his own shopping - thats up to you really. Then he can make himself some food when it suits him.
What did you do when your son was younger? Have you never had "family meals" Perhaps you son doesn't know how to cook? I@m thinking if you've never had family meals together - your son is unlikely to suddenly be able to cook for himself now he's working.

I’d be asking why husband was eating at work st lunchtime instead of sharing family meal. He’d be the one I wasn’t ok with

What do you expect him to do? You won't cook for him (fair enough) but you also won't let him buy his own food to keep in the house? Is he supposed to eat out every night?

This all seems odd- so you never eat a home cooked meal together as a family?

Do you have an air fryer? He can put some frozen chicken and chips in and just turn it on. I do frozen pizza in mine. Keep some pasta, pasta sauces, beans, tuna in the cupboard. Bag of grated cheese and precooked meats in the fridge. I would keep it super simple.

If you’re not storing food in the fridge and it’s full of beer why do you care what he buys and where he stores it . Move the beer into a cupboard and clear a shelf for your son. Deciding what to cook is singularly the most hateful job in the world. Worse if you’re not even going to be eating it. So stop doing it !?

Living with alcoholics that prioritise beer over food in the fridge and bringing another baby into it, is the baby going to live off beer too when they are weaned?

This can't be real. Stop putting beer in the fridge instead of food. They want beer they go get it.

Why should he eat a diet of UPFs? If his food is included in what he pays then he needs there to be ingredients available to make something then he can cook for himself. Otherwise what? He doesn't eat? I don't really understand this set up.

Yes, you said it more eloquently

Your son is working so I assume an adult. Tell him to buy, cook, and clean up after himself, and mean it. This is part of the reason why we have so many shit men in this world--boys aren't ever expected to learn to care for themselves in today's society.

I taught both my children, one boy, one girl, to cook starting at age 11. By the time they were early teens they each planned 1 meal/week, did the cooking, set the table, presented the food and cleaned up afterward. The only thing I did was buy the food.

Children become capable and responsible adults when they are trained and taught the skills needed. OP, your son needs a kick in the arse. An adult should be able to feed himself.

You need to make him buying his own shopping an option.

Saying you can't put things in the fridge but also you can't rely on it being full (absolutely fair) doesn't stack up.

£400 is very cheap for rent bills and food. He can buy some of his own things.

If he gets home and there's nothing in, why are YOU running to the shop? Prepare him for when there's nobody there to do it and make him go out to the shop himself.

I guess the options are:

• he knows this will happen so he buys himself something every day on the way home from work/on his lunch break, then you don't have to go out and get it yourself.
• you buy a bigger fridge or an alternative fridge for the beers and snacks.

What's your ideal solution here? That he stops eating?

So you're taking money off him for food but not providing him with food. Then you won't let him buy his own. Ok.

As long as he has one third of the fridge, filling it with beer is his choice entirely.

You should have included that the fridge is filled with his beer in the op as many posters responded to the implication it was taken up with your stuff.

It does sound like a pain but you will
have to set it up differently. If you take his money for food but you don’t cook family meals and don’t want to run up the shop every evening, then take less money and he buys and makes his own food. If you and your husband don’t eat at home surely there is room for your son’s stuff. Is this seven days a week?

I know... that's why I said "let" him. If it was him refusing I'd have said "make" him.

You’re overthinking it all. Let him get on with it himself. Show him the available space and remind him that more simply will not fit.
You’re his parent, not his cook or housekeeper. Being an adult sucks sometimes.

Eh?
How small is the fridge and freezer space? Tbf I have massive fridge and 2 freezers, so tonnes of space. Mine is jammmed filled with stuff, marinated chicken kebabs, chilli and spag bol, meatballs and lasagne.

What's is in your freezer? Surely you could move things around and create some space for him in both?

Tell him to sort his own food - the only real decision is whether you think it's fair to reduce his rent to accommodate.

When you first decided on £400, was that supposed to include food? I mean, £400 per month for lodgings, bills, food, and frankly the lack of hassle of running your own place is an absolute steal!! But if you were just asking for something as a token whilst he saves to move out, maybe drop to £300 or something and tell him to cook for himself.

Because he's not allowed to store any of his own food there