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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can't be bothered to cook for son

515 replies

palmtreesands · 28/08/2024 14:57

We only have limited fridge and freezer space so him buying his own shopping is not an option.
Dh eats at work and I like to take a massive salad to work among other things and pick so don't eat again in the evening.
Ds comes home from work expecting a home cooked dinner and I find it such a headache, if I haven't cooked or we've eaten I out as we sometimes do he expects their to be ingredients to make himself something to eat.... their often isn't and I am racing up the shop to buy him something to make but as I said food has to be included in his monthly contribution otherwise he'll come back with shopping that we don't have room for.
Aibu to let this stress me out so much, I'm hot and bothered and don't want the headache of feeding him but he pays £400 a month to live here so expects there to be food to eat and I can't be bothered with the hassle of always making sure there's something in when we don't have family meals.

OP posts:
NeedSomeAnswersPlease · 28/08/2024 15:52

@Wigtopia what exactly does this £400 include? No food or drink, can't use the fridge or freezer, not allowed to do laundry?

liverpoolgal82 · 28/08/2024 15:51

With the £400- is it half or a quarter allocated for food? Whichever it is then do an online shop for that amount to arrive on the Monday eve so he has the ingredients to make a meal for the week. It’s just about being organised which is hard when we are working etc…. but you need food in for him. Then he can sort his own meals out. My 17 year old sorts most of her meals out as she often isn’t interested in what I’m cooking.
if you can’t fit food in for one extra person for the week then you need to buy a small fridge, or a little box to store somewhere in kitchen or re organise the fridge with storage baskets in it.

I’m not sure how you can’t fit a weeks shopping for someone somewhere. Also can he not use up the meat you have in your freezer and then you can buy veg , potatoes and store in a basket under the table if you have to. Come on…..

Notreat · 28/08/2024 15:51

Wigtopia · 28/08/2024 15:43

£400 rent doesn’t include food in any universe. He is an adult who is working. He needs to start fending for himself.

I hope you don’t do his laundry too as pet of the £400 a month rent? Id either stop doing his laundry too, or charge a separate fee that you keep (not thrown into the main pot!).

but definitely stop food shopping for him and cooking for him.

If she does this what is he supposed to eat as he isn't allowed to keep any food in the fridge or freezer

whereisthelifethatirecognize · 28/08/2024 15:50

palmtreesands · 28/08/2024 14:57

We only have limited fridge and freezer space so him buying his own shopping is not an option.
Dh eats at work and I like to take a massive salad to work among other things and pick so don't eat again in the evening.
Ds comes home from work expecting a home cooked dinner and I find it such a headache, if I haven't cooked or we've eaten I out as we sometimes do he expects their to be ingredients to make himself something to eat.... their often isn't and I am racing up the shop to buy him something to make but as I said food has to be included in his monthly contribution otherwise he'll come back with shopping that we don't have room for.
Aibu to let this stress me out so much, I'm hot and bothered and don't want the headache of feeding him but he pays £400 a month to live here so expects there to be food to eat and I can't be bothered with the hassle of always making sure there's something in when we don't have family meals.

Buy him a small fridge of his own; he can provide and cook his own food. He's a grown up.

bellably · 28/08/2024 15:50

Don't worry Hun, you will soon get him so pissed off he will leave!

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 28/08/2024 15:49

Right so you eat the trademarked Mumsnet Massive Salad once a day and nothing else. Your husband never eats at home (he fasts every weekend, does he?) but fills the fridge with beer and snacks. There is miraculously just enough room for your Massive Salad (TM) ingredients but nothing else. Nobody eats breakfast.

I think cooking an evening meal is the least of your worries.

HolyPeaches · 28/08/2024 15:49

I like to take a massive salad to work among other things and pick so don't eat again in the evening.

This thread has got to be a wind-up surely 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

NeedSomeAnswersPlease · 28/08/2024 15:49

In this heat??? It's 20 degrees!!!

So you don't have fridge space for him to meal prep or buy his own food, but he wants home cooked meals? Sounds like you need to upgrade your fridge. You're taking £400 a month off him for what, exactly?

pearvines · 28/08/2024 15:49

@Nanny0gg well I asked where she was, I'm in the middle of the country and the temp has mostly been around 20C, it's going up to 24C today but today hasn't been typical, it's warming up this week. Even then, it's not a heatwave, it's summer.

Mintyt · 28/08/2024 15:49

I'm amazed that some parents stop caring for their children when they are adults. You dont want him to shop for food and you can't be bothered. There should be food in for him to cook, after all there is food in for you to make your work lunch. Be kind

MotherofGorgons · 28/08/2024 15:48

This is like a Fawlty Towers sketch.

redskydarknight · 28/08/2024 15:48

TransformerZ · 28/08/2024 15:43

Use Hello Fresh 😂theres a new thread about it

nowhere to store it

Wigtopia · 28/08/2024 15:47

Nanny0gg · 28/08/2024 15:46

It's been a minimum of 24° here for ages

Show quote history

Yup - 24-28 here for ages

CaptainCabinetsTrappedInCabinets · 28/08/2024 15:47

palmtreesands · 28/08/2024 15:28

It's both ds and his dad they both drink it together. I have a small freezer in the conservatory which I bought in Covid but that's full of frozen meat and things that would be out of date if not frozen.
I think if he brought home something each evening to make then he'd be doing exactly what I'm doing for him but that doesn't seem right so I do feel obligated to cook something but I'm finding it very stressful maybe it's just because it's so hot.

Show quote history

Where are you that it's so hot you can't cook?

Nanny0gg · 28/08/2024 15:46

pearvines · 28/08/2024 15:45

I suppose I have a lot to learn but I don't feel like cooking in this heat and didn't think many people ate hot meals through the summer I know I didn't growing up and dh doesn't fancy it just ds does.

Where do you live that you are finding it too hot to cook, it's only been around 20C most of August! Even in hot countries it's completely normal to eat a hot meal, really hoping this thread is a wind up. You all sound a bit pathetic tbh! I dread to think what your health is like!

It's been a minimum of 24° here for ages

Nanny0gg · 28/08/2024 15:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

This thread is bonkers

And so is the way they carry on!

pearvines · 28/08/2024 15:45

I suppose I have a lot to learn but I don't feel like cooking in this heat and didn't think many people ate hot meals through the summer I know I didn't growing up and dh doesn't fancy it just ds does.

Where do you live that you are finding it too hot to cook, it's only been around 20C most of August! Even in hot countries it's completely normal to eat a hot meal, really hoping this thread is a wind up. You all sound a bit pathetic tbh! I dread to think what your health is like!

Nanny0gg · 28/08/2024 15:44

ConsuelaHammock · 28/08/2024 15:14

You’re overthinking it all. Let him get on with it himself. Show him the available space and remind him that more simply will not fit.
You’re his parent, not his cook or housekeeper. Being an adult sucks sometimes.

There's not ANY space apparently

Hadalifeonce · 28/08/2024 15:44

I very seldom cook for DS, but I make sure there are things for him to cook, if there isn't enough room in the fridge because of beer, take some of the beer out and put food in there.

OneSparklyPeachDreamer · 28/08/2024 15:44

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

TransformerZ · 28/08/2024 15:43

Use Hello Fresh 😂theres a new thread about it

OneSparklyPeachDreamer · 28/08/2024 15:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

theriseandfallofFranklinSaint · 28/08/2024 15:43

AdviceNeeded2024 · 28/08/2024 15:38

The phrase “massive salad” indicates this might be a wind up post to me 🤔

Absolutely and what's the deal with mentioning how hot it is? If OP is in the UK, it's been the world's shittest summer - a couple of weeks (odd days) of sun does not make a hot summer!

Wigtopia · 28/08/2024 15:43

£400 rent doesn’t include food in any universe. He is an adult who is working. He needs to start fending for himself.

I hope you don’t do his laundry too as pet of the £400 a month rent? Id either stop doing his laundry too, or charge a separate fee that you keep (not thrown into the main pot!).

but definitely stop food shopping for him and cooking for him.

LouH5 · 28/08/2024 15:43

It all sounds a little strange to me.
Why is the family prioritising keeping beer in the fridge and not meat/food?
The weather is cooling now, so keep the beers outside and get some proper food in the fridge.
Get things like fajita kits- there’s instructions on the packet and you just need to add peppers, onions and chicken. The veg can be kept in a fruit bowl so the only thing that needs to go in the fridge is the chicken.
If you don’t want to cook, and he’s happy to do it, all you need to do is give him some fridge space.