Not giving me my hungry baby back

A very simple ‘here I’ll take him, he needs feeding’ along with you standing up/reaching over/arms outstretched to take him. It sounds like everyone was waiting for each other to make the first move .. a bit like when 3 cars approach a roundabout at the same time, each giving way to the other so no one actually goes 🤣🤣

As @qualifiedazure said - guessers and askers! If you're a guesser you think you're being polite, and letting other people draw the naturally correct conclusion. Askers think you're wishy-washy and can't just say what you want.

"It'll be time sort the kids' tea soon." That could be code for DH, please go and ask the boys what they want to have for tea and then start cooking it. But you're more likely to get that result if you actually say the words, otherwise the other party is perfectly correct to just think, yes, that's right, it will be time to do their tea soon, and go back to scrolling on his phone.

Woman up.

Stop hinting.

The baby is breastfed as in the OP, dont think she can hand them the boob over.

Just swoop in and grab the baby.

Some people think they're toys, and/ or they are determined to outdo the mother in the settling of the baby competition.

Get up.

Reach in.

Take baby from their arms.

No more "I think he needs..." statements.

Say out loud, "It's time to feed him". Practice this.

They won't argue with The Clock. Helps if you look at your watch before you get up.

Better still, don't hand over the baby in the first place. Invest in a sling. Make sure baby is securely ensconced in it when they arrive, or sleeping in his cot.

"I'm just going to take baby back, he's hungry/needs a change/wants mum"
It's better to be direct rather than drop hints. Hope it goes better for you next time.

I agree with PPs saying you need to go take your baby and say it is time for a feed. You can always ask if she would like the baby back to wind if you would like to soften it/reassure her she will get a cuddle.

OP hopefully all the assertive strategies suggested here will deal with this problem in future. But if not (they try and hang on to the baby even when you're stood there trying to take him back) I wouldn't be letting them hold him in the future, and I'd say why
'no, sorry, not when you won't give him back to be fed'

My MIL was like this, still is a bit. I was unwell post birth so didn’t have the energy and my husband was a wet lettuce. She had a real issue of me holding my own baby in her presence.

When I got my strength back and confidence I was direct, whilst being polite. “I’m taking my baby back now” and “yes, he’s hungry. He wants his mother now”

The first time you assert yourself, the times afterwards are easier. After a few time, they get the memo and stop clinging onto your baby like Gollum with the ring.

Well, my mum has myriad problems.

But not handing back a hungry baby wasn't one of them. She wouldn't even hold my baby on the first visit because she remembered how her relatives kept her babies from her. Whereas MIL happily told me DS was happy with her when he was crying for me.

I think that in some cases there's an innate feeling from the MIL that her DIL isn't capable or competent, whereas the mum takes it for granted. My MIL speaks in glowing terms and detail about her son's career achievements, but as far as SIL and I are concerned, we have jobs.

My GMIL is a different story. She asks in detail about my career and achievements, and is really kind and supportive about parenting. She's an absolute gem of a woman. I get on well with MIL, but she is definitely territorial and opinionated.

Hungry or not, if my baby was crying in someone else's arms they'd be back with me like a shot!

Woman up

Say : 'I'll take him'.

Then take him.

Finished.

You just need to reach and and take your baby 🤷‍♀️

People generally try to settle a crying baby (except me, straight back to mum!), it’s a natural desire. However, if you think he’s hungry, just take him back, would they refuse?!

Why would you passively wait for them to hand the baby back? Just take him! They are probably waiting for you to take the baby if he needs feeding 🤷‍♀️

You seem to be expecting them to get up and put him in your lap for you to feed, but actually I've always just gone over and put my hands out/ reached over to take them. If you say "he's getting hungry" but just sit there, they aren't getting the cue that you're wanting to feed him

It’s good you have a plan on what to do in the future OP. As for them not handing back the baby, I think reading the room, they couldn’t see any signs of you actually getting prepared to take baby or getting what you need to feed him, so in the meantime they continued trying to settle 🤷🏻‍♀️

You need to speak with authority - they are not used to seeing you as the grown-up. Talk as if you expect to be listened to, and like other posters have said, just take your baby as you are saying "I'm going to feed him now".
They ( and you) have to get used to the idea you are the one in charge of the baby, what you say goes, and you don't need permission. Their opinion on whether he needs feeding or not is neither here nor there. You are his mother, you know best.

Be assertive and go and get the baby for a feed. When he's done, hand him back to Granny.

Once she's confident that she won't completely miss out on cuddles, she'll probably be more willing to hand him over so he can briefly have his needs met.

I had the compagny of a 8 week old beautiful girl the other day. Such a joy.

Hungry? Her mum had her back in 2 seconds.

I did walk around with her untill she settled for sleep and mum had her dinner - but I asked if she was happy to let me. Not my baby, and yes we have had 3 but this isn't mine.

I don't get why people take over babies. Enjoy and return!

I wouldn't recommend being this rude, it's not necessary.

Just pick him up and walk him straight into your room, shut the door and feed him in there, saying “Lock the door on your way out. This is going to be a while!”