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AIBU?

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Twins and University

170 replies

Decoratingdilema · 28/08/2024 10:02

First thing to say is yes I am being totally unreasonable to be worrying about this now.

I have twin girls who are 6. I saw a Martin Lewis article the other day where he talked about maintenance loans for universities. The basic jist of it was that if you had a joint household imcome of £25k then you’d get the full loan.

our joint income is about £85k so I’m not sure how much, if any they’d be entitled to. We’d have to cover rent, food, books etc. It’s got me on a spiral of worrying about how we’d afford this if both of them decided that university was the path that they’d want to take.

Should we be saving now just in case his happens?

honestly this is not a stealth boast, I’m genuinely fearful of planning and being able to afford this should they both want to go.

Then there’s the driving lessons at the same time

I know this is on AIBU but if there is any other twin parents who could share their experience that would be great

so

YANBU - it’s never too early to plan

YABU - they’re 6 get a grip 😂

OP posts:
CandidHedgehog · 28/08/2024 17:10

sunsetsandboardwalks · 28/08/2024 17:05

I guess I just find it strange that parents are expected to fund everything these days - from driving lessons, to university, to house deposits and more.

These things are very different. A mortgage company won’t refuse to lend money based on the buyer’s parents’ income. The Student Loan company will absolutely refuse to lend money based on the student’s parents’ income leaving the student with no way to go to university unless the parents contribute.

Can you really not see the difference?

*I’m not touching driving lessons since whether they are necessary or not is massively dependant on location.

Allie47 · 28/08/2024 17:09

You're not alone OP, I have 5 year old twins and about the same household income and have the same worries, I've already started saving!

FloralGums · 28/08/2024 17:07

The vast majority of students work whilst at university to supplement the maintenance loan. I would say a large percentage also take gap years to save up money too.
We will have twins plus a sibling at uni at the same time (twins and sibling are in consecutive school years).
We have saved a little and will give them what we can but also expect them to work and save up during gap years to pay for their time at uni.
Unless parents are mega rich, most students need to help with topping up the loans themselves.

tellingtalessometimes · 28/08/2024 17:05

I'm a mum of twins and it isn't really a twin problem as parents with 2/3 siblings may also have kids who all want to go uni. It just feels that way as the cost is double at one time but for other parents it's a continual cost which can stretch 5-10 years. My twins like to do alot of clubs together and sometimes I think oh I'm always paying double before I realise they are paying other clubs for other siblings.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 28/08/2024 17:05

CandidHedgehog · 28/08/2024 17:02

Well, yes, we are talking about people with higher incomes whose children will get a minimal amount. Discussion of how reasonably well earning middle class parents should assist their children does tend to result in fairly middle class solutions. I’m not sure why you’d expect anything else?

Also, most people with a reasonable income expect to plan their finances long term with a view to retirement, paying off the mortgage etc. It’s just being suggested that they add university fees to their long term planning.

Edited to say: And most people do make at least limited long term financial plans unless they are very badly off (even if that plan is not to save because of the effect on means tested benefits). I assume you aren’t doing so by what you’ve said but frantically trying to convince yourself no one else is doing do either really isn’t helpful.

Edited

I guess I just find it strange that parents are expected to fund everything these days - from driving lessons, to university, to house deposits and more.

CandidHedgehog · 28/08/2024 17:02

sunsetsandboardwalks · 28/08/2024 16:55

You're missing my point - which is that most people aren't going to plan their savings today around something that may not even be an issue in 15 years time.

It's all very middle class privilege.

Well, yes, we are talking about people with higher incomes whose children will get a minimal amount. Discussion of how reasonably well earning middle class parents should assist their children does tend to result in fairly middle class solutions. I’m not sure why you’d expect anything else?

Also, most people with a reasonable income expect to plan their finances long term with a view to retirement, paying off the mortgage etc. It’s just being suggested that they add university fees to their long term planning.

Edited to say: And most people do make at least limited long term financial plans unless they are very badly off (even if that plan is not to save because of the effect on means tested benefits). I assume you aren’t doing so by what you’ve said but frantically trying to convince yourself no one else is doing do either really isn’t helpful.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 28/08/2024 17:01

ConsuelaHammock · 28/08/2024 17:00

Sensible parents will do exactly that. They will plan their savings around the possibility that their children will attend university.

As I said, middle class privilege.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 28/08/2024 17:01

Saving for things that will never happen? Retirement ? Old age ? I’m quite sure those are a certainty unless of course you die!

But you'd be saving for those for your own sake, not for your children's - unless we're going down the road of parents having to fund their children's retirements now? Wink

I don't have children to save for, btw, I just don't understand this mentality that parents now have to fund their children well into their twenties, including paying for weddings and housing deposits in many cases.

Blondiie · 28/08/2024 17:00

Save - but it’s not an emergency.

If the system stays the same they will get min loan (about £4.5k or £6.5k in London) and parents are supposed to top up to the max.

A “normal” 3 year course, not in London, will cost you in the region of £30k for both for all 3 years. You have 12 years, plus the years they are actually there when their other expenses decrease (you won’t be buying clothes or paying for term time food or activities/hobbies).

£100/month over 12 years would give close to £20k with compound interest. Don’t put it in their names. My dc are at the age where some of their peers have been handed £1000s from the government trust funds. The majority of it has been spend in holidays, cars, clothes and general enjoyment.

Getting a job in a university town with no experience is hard work. Employers know you want to go home for Christmas and will probably disappear the next summer. 6th formers are often more attractive in that sense. It’s savvy to get a job the summer after y11 with a big employer such as a chain restaurant/takeaway or a supermarket. Lots let you transfer between stores and the ones that don’t may offer a seasonal contract in 2 locations (dd has a McDonald’s contract term time in her uni town and holidays in our home town). Don’t assume they can go off to university in late September after A-levels and find lots of vacancies.

Don’t panic. I have 2 on min loan, haven’t saved anywhere near as much as I should and am managing on a lower income than you.

ConsuelaHammock · 28/08/2024 17:00

sunsetsandboardwalks · 28/08/2024 16:55

You're missing my point - which is that most people aren't going to plan their savings today around something that may not even be an issue in 15 years time.

It's all very middle class privilege.

Sensible parents will do exactly that. They will plan their savings around the possibility that their children will attend university.

ConsuelaHammock · 28/08/2024 16:56

sunsetsandboardwalks · 28/08/2024 16:43

They are now, but who knows what might happen in five years, let alone 13 years when OP's children are of university age.

I just think you can't live your life saving for things that may never happen, especially when you'd be doing so at the expense of your children doing certain things in the present.

Also, when most parents talk about activities, they mean things like Brownies or dance or football, not the ski trips and French trips you seem to be referring to.

Saving for things that will never happen? Retirement ? Old age ? I’m quite sure those are a certainty unless of course you die!

If your children will not get the full loan then you should do what you can to save what you can as soon as you can.
Your future self will thank you for it. I don’t understand arguing with someone who is suggesting saving for university. Is it because you’re not saving and you don’t want others to save either- hoping that eventually university education will be free again. It will never be free again. Not at the rate that young people go to university nowadays. If anything it will get more and more expensive. But sure you crack on. Don’t save for them! It’s your decision.

Notamum12345577 · 28/08/2024 16:55

FrenchandSaunders · 28/08/2024 15:58

Everyone gets at least a minimum loan regardless of parents income.

Of currently 4600 a year, which if you are lucky will pay half the rental cost for halls

sunsetsandboardwalks · 28/08/2024 16:55

CandidHedgehog · 28/08/2024 16:46

I’m pretty sure the chances of parental contributions not being required in the future is minimal. If anything, things may well go the other way with children of higher income parents not getting any loan and parents being expected to fund the lot.

You're missing my point - which is that most people aren't going to plan their savings today around something that may not even be an issue in 15 years time.

It's all very middle class privilege.

ButterCrackers · 28/08/2024 16:53

Kids can get jobs and work to support themselves through uni. Saving is helpful but not all can do this.

mightyducks · 28/08/2024 16:47

Absolutely start saving now , we’ve saved all our child benefit from the day they were born and it will just be enough to cover them for Universal- they will get minimum loan and it will not even cover their rent for the year - we would have been financially screwed if we hadn’t done this - daughter’s rent is £150 a week in second year!

CandidHedgehog · 28/08/2024 16:46

sunsetsandboardwalks · 28/08/2024 16:43

They are now, but who knows what might happen in five years, let alone 13 years when OP's children are of university age.

I just think you can't live your life saving for things that may never happen, especially when you'd be doing so at the expense of your children doing certain things in the present.

Also, when most parents talk about activities, they mean things like Brownies or dance or football, not the ski trips and French trips you seem to be referring to.

I’m pretty sure the chances of parental contributions not being required in the future is minimal. If anything, things may well go the other way with children of higher income parents not getting any loan and parents being expected to fund the lot.

sunsetsandboardwalks · 28/08/2024 16:43

ConsuelaHammock · 28/08/2024 16:26

No but they are responsible for contributing towards their university expenses. If they don’t use the money saved for university on university then I’m sure the parents can find something to spend it on. Retirement ?

They are now, but who knows what might happen in five years, let alone 13 years when OP's children are of university age.

I just think you can't live your life saving for things that may never happen, especially when you'd be doing so at the expense of your children doing certain things in the present.

Also, when most parents talk about activities, they mean things like Brownies or dance or football, not the ski trips and French trips you seem to be referring to.

MyMagicStars · 28/08/2024 16:42

A twin mum tip- when applying, we knew they wanted very different subjects, but could possibly have ended up at the same university. Our girls decided to discuss their possible choices, but ultimately, didn’t tell each other their first and second choices until confirmed as their first choice and insurance. In the end, they went to different unis for the first year, which was great, but then DD3 ended up moving and picked DD4s choice, which she had considered. Our two are very close, and I do think they should have had two separate university experiences, but I’m ultimately glad they were happy, and at least had a year apart, and they didn’t live together. All the fun to come! Plus, dividing up a very shared wardrobe for two 18yo girls was an experience few get the privilege of…

CandidHedgehog · 28/08/2024 16:40

Carriemac · 28/08/2024 16:33

They could live at home and go to a local uni

That cuts the minimum loan even further.

It also makes getting a decent education a matter of potluck (or money. The well off will always have options). Jane Smith’s parents happen to live right next to a university that’s brilliant for her chosen course. Go Jane! Bob Brown’s parents live in a rural area where the closest university that offers his chosen course is 4 hours away. Sorry, Bob, looks like you can’t follow the career path you want.

There are several professions (law for example) where going to a ‘good’ university is essential to be a high flyer. The ‘go where you live’ argument means the well off children or those lucky enough to be able to commute will be the ones with the career opportunities. Joe off the council estate apparently needs to know his place and go to the local university no matter how unsuitable the courses.

doneandone · 28/08/2024 16:37

I actually think you're being sensible to consider saving now. We have dd starting her second year of uni and it's cost us considerably more then we thought it would. Admittedly this is totally our fault for not researching and preparing beforehand. We will definitely make sure we are much better prepared for ds (much younger) for if he decides to go.

PhotoDad · 28/08/2024 16:37

If you can possibly afford to find £100 each month to put into some savings, then do. If they don't need it for uni it can go towards something else.

If you put it into a JISA in their name, then they get full control of it at 18. On the other hand, if you use your own ISA or other savings, then unintended things could happen to the money in the event of divorce or bereavement.

We decided to use a JISA; we went through a rocky financial patch (now resolved) and if the money had been in my name I would possibly have raided the fund. Luckily DC haven't spent the money frivolously but that's the risk...

Flossflower · 28/08/2024 16:37

Carriemac · 28/08/2024 16:33

They could live at home and go to a local uni

you don’t know how your children will turn out. Would you deny them the chance of going to a top university if they got a place?
I still haven’t got past parents who charge children board while they are in education.
One of my children could not work while at uni as they were doing a course that made it impossible to work at the same time.

Carriemac · 28/08/2024 16:33

They could live at home and go to a local uni

CandidHedgehog · 28/08/2024 16:32

What this discussion does show is that saving should start as young as possible. Compound interest will massively reduce the cost of saving if putting money away starts at birth.

It’s what Americans do and it’s time people in the UK got into the same habit.

WobblyBoots · 28/08/2024 16:32

YANBU to be thinking about it now. I have three DC and we're saving a bit each month from
birth for uni or whatever training they may want to do.

I went to uni in the early 00s and because I was from a single parent family I got the full maintenance loan and didn't have to pay fees. But even then I came out £20k in debt which was massive 20 yrs ago. First in my family to go to uni and didn't have any other financial suppport. I'm glad the loan was an option as I wouldn't have been able to go but it seriously impacted my choices and finances after uni (and even now-being naive about finances I paid my loan off at the expense of my pension and am regretting that mid 40s). Hoping my kids will at least have a bit towards it to give them more options.

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