My DP is mad at me for quitting my job because of how it will reflect on him

Your husband sounds financially abusive.

You are being financially abused. You work two jobs as your partner is refusing to pay a bigger share of bills due to his higher paying job. This is NOT normal.

Is it really worth staying in this ‘relationship’. What do you get out of it? You are less than a flatmate.

He also does not give a fuck about you being abused by his colleagues.

You need to see a solicitor asap and see what your financial options are.

Your partner is a twat and I hope you are planning on leaving him in near future. It disgusts me how he is not willing to take care of his family and expect everything to be 50/50.

I'm so sorry op. Your partner sounds like an abusive dick. You must be exhausted. Have you considered leaving? Financially and emotionally, it sounds like you would be much better off.

You should consider letting your husband read this thread. He is behaving like an absolute swine and he needs telling so.

As far as the job goes, you were right to leave. You shouldn’t need to look for a replacement job either.

It’s also really not helpful that you aren’t married.

Would he marry you? This would help in the event of a divorce (which you should get if you can possibly afford to)

Sorry to say this, but as he only cares about himself, and wants to “have his cake and eat it”, I wouldn’t be surprised if the “boys weekends” involve “”socialising”” with other women

Why aren't you married? Does he not want to get married?

This really isn’t OK - you are a couple and your money should be shared, and you should have equal spending money.

The fact you have to work extra hours because he isn’t paying his fair share is a huge red flag.

Can you change this system?

Hormones aren't the problem here, OP; your DH's appalling behaviour is.
YANBU.

I bet this is overwhelming, but it is supportive.

I think he has failed to contribute equally to your household. He has contributed nothing to the pregnancy and birthing of your dc.

Please leave this horrible man.

You call this man your partner, but he doesn't seem all that interested in being in a partnership with you. He sounds very much out for himself.

DP earns a lot less than me, part of that is down to the type of work we each do, and part of it is down to the fact she's taken time out of work for maternity leave etc.

We don't have "my money" and " her money". It's all "ours". But even when we didn't keep finances separate, she paid a much lower percentage of the monthly bills etc than me.

If he cared for you he wouldn’t be watching you do a full time plus a part time job plus no doubt running yourself ragged with the kids while he saves. You can do better!

Interested to know the answer to this too...

He's going away with the boys again soon for a long weekend abroad. I couldn't even afford to go on my friends hen do at a heavily discounted rate because someone else dropped out.

He's a horrible person OP. Genuinely, what a prick.

Do you think he is fundamentally a kind person? It doesn't sound like he possibly can be.

My OH is like this - we split bills 50/50, I struggled for a good few years, working 2 jobs, he could afford to go out and i couldn't, etc. until I got a better job and now he moans I earn more than him - still both paying 50/50 so karma i guess on my part ( it didn't bother me because I am stubborn about be independent and not have to rely on a man). Sometimes its just the way people live.

On the other hand - have you made a formal complaint about the 2 guys who verbally abused you at work?? That was not on and they should receive some sort of disciplinary and you should receive some sort of apology.

What a dick. My dh earns 5x more than me and he pays 5x more to the expenses. He's never thrown it in my face either. He did get a bit 'the big i am' when I went on mat leave I told him to make sure it never happened again

Please go on to a benefits calculator and find out how much you'd get if you were a single parent.
The equity in your house - would it be enough for a 25% share in a shared ownership property? You can buy a share outright and universal credit can help cover the rent part of you are entitled to help. They will also help pay 85% of childcare. I guarantee you will be financially better off on your own than you are right now.
You only get one life, you will never have the chance to relive it, so make sure you live it happy and don't look back with regrets of staying and being miserable. It's just not worth it

@Sandywoes is he doing 50% of all the childcare, cooking, cleaning etc...?

(As you work more hours than him he should be doing the majority of this)

He won't marry you, he financially abuses you (and has always done so, even during maternity leave) and he doesn't care at all about you being badly treated at work.

Wake up and smell the coffee OP! You deserve far better than this!

The problem is your DH - and him expecting a 50/50 split of finances when he earns a lot more. No wonder you're stressed and exhausted.

Edited - you aren't married. The good news is that it will be easier to extricate yourself from this man when the time comes. For your sake, I hope that is soon.

I would also look at the fact based on his income you don’t get child benefit, any help with childcare so yes it is disproportionate and you are peanalised for his high earnings ..

I would ask him how he thinks it reflects on him you have to work f/t taking time away from your children .

I think your example of the hen do just shows he doesn’t care ..

i think you know this stuff but it’s hard when you are in it to see a way out .

everyoen does things differently but the majority of married people that I know have joint accounts and pool all resources. You are supplement his savings!!!! He saves because you pay half his expenses. Omg he is such a dick !
never mind not supporting you in your hour or need. I hope you make an official complaint about the two arses for shouting at you.
What would happen if you lost your ft job and couldn’t contribute??

You can't fathom it huh. All those people out there who don't earn enough to cover their bills can just get better paying jobs, the cost of living crisis is solved, why did none of those people struggling think about that.