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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be shocked this isn't getting more coverage?

411 replies

Sugarcoldturkey · 28/08/2024 08:51

Women in Afghanistan are now forbidden from speaking when not inside their homes. A simple "hello" to someone in a shop is now against the law. https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/article/2024/aug/26/taliban-bar-on-afghan-women-speaking-in-public-un-afghanistan

AIBU to think this is some of the most horrific news I've heard in months? I can't wrap my head around it and I can't help thinking - activists/newspapers/politicians are loud when campaigning about the gender pay gap or the state of child care or a woman's rights to her own body but somehow on this topic no one wants to criticise too often or too loudly.

Is it because religion is mixed in? Or guilt over the war? Or do politicians in particular only care about women's rights when it's a vote-winner in their constituency? Or is it just that it's so terrible and we all feel so powerless to prevent it that we just prefer to ignore the situation?

I'm feeling v v shaken.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
AInightingale · 28/08/2024 23:51

If anyone on this earth is unconditionally, unarguably entitled to asylum in the west right now...it's women in these fucking hellholes.

Autumnalove · 28/08/2024 23:51

marmaladian · 28/08/2024 23:45

This is going to sound harsh, but if their own damn husbands won't fight for them I fail to see why completely unrelated young ( mostly) men should have to sacrifice their lives .
Let's be honest Afghans have been killing each other for centuries.
The only thing I can think of is flights out of the country , women and children only, but the Taliban would probably shoot them down. I know , totally pie in the sky stuff. Those poor women.

Absolutely agree. There are millions of Afghan men here in Europe seeking refuge, why aren't they protesting, marching, raising awareness & advocating with every source at their disposal..
Look at the way the Ukranians & Iranians have organised protests, marches, flags done whatever they could to advocate for their homeland & those left behind.

marmaladian · 28/08/2024 23:45

This is going to sound harsh, but if their own damn husbands won't fight for them I fail to see why completely unrelated young ( mostly) men should have to sacrifice their lives .
Let's be honest Afghans have been killing each other for centuries.
The only thing I can think of is flights out of the country , women and children only, but the Taliban would probably shoot them down. I know , totally pie in the sky stuff. Those poor women.

marmaladian · 28/08/2024 23:39

newtlover · 28/08/2024 22:30

Spanish Inquisition?
The Crucible?
Magdalen laundries?
I could go on

Those were quite a long time ago you'd have to admit.

OhMaria2 · 28/08/2024 23:04

wonderstuff · 28/08/2024 09:14

It’s only women isn’t it, not like in other countries where actual people are being oppressed.

I can’t forgive the Biden administration for leaving the region and effectively arming the Taliban to the teeth. Shameful. Makes my heart hurt when I think of it.

This is the part that gets me, all those billions of dollars of weapons and vehicles for them to use to continue their oppression.

AInightingale · 28/08/2024 22:50

ConnieCounter · 28/08/2024 22:45

Any country that allows religion to be involved in its government or the governing of its social policy will not be good for women.

Yes - see Ireland in the 20th century. Progressive societies separate church and state.

ConnieCounter · 28/08/2024 22:45

Any country that allows religion to be involved in its government or the governing of its social policy will not be good for women.

EasternStandard · 28/08/2024 22:39

TooBigForMyBoots · 28/08/2024 22:37

All religions have been distorted to control abuse, rape and murder women. Currently Incels are promoting it in a non-religious ideology.

Not all countries are led by religion to the same extent

Where would you prefer to live?

It's an easy choice for me, and dd

TooBigForMyBoots · 28/08/2024 22:37

Blueybanditbingochilli · 28/08/2024 22:16

While all religions have been distorted to some degree to control the masses, why has the distortion of Islam lead to human rights abuses and extreme oppression of women in every country where it is the majority religion? I can’t think of a similar theocracy under any other religion?

All religions have been distorted to control abuse, rape and murder women. Currently Incels are promoting it in a non-religious ideology.

EasternStandard · 28/08/2024 22:35

Blueybanditbingochilli · 28/08/2024 22:16

While all religions have been distorted to some degree to control the masses, why has the distortion of Islam lead to human rights abuses and extreme oppression of women in every country where it is the majority religion? I can’t think of a similar theocracy under any other religion?

Is there a country which is led by this that is freer for women and girls atm? I'd be interested to hear which ones

EasternStandard · 28/08/2024 22:32

newtlover · 28/08/2024 22:30

Spanish Inquisition?
The Crucible?
Magdalen laundries?
I could go on

Currently?

newtlover · 28/08/2024 22:30

Spanish Inquisition?
The Crucible?
Magdalen laundries?
I could go on

Blueybanditbingochilli · 28/08/2024 22:16

newtlover · 28/08/2024 22:05

thank you for this voice of sanity
this thread began with OP's concern for the women and girls of Afghanistan and asking what we can do to help them.
many of the more recent posts seem to come from people who have never spoken to the many educated and articulate women in this country and elsewhere who are Muslims AND advocates for women's rights. As a former colleague of mine said, 'it's never about the religion, its about the culture and the men who will distort any religion to get power'
On another thread, a poster said that Islam mandates education for men And women, both.
It's not Islam we need to fear, its men.

While all religions have been distorted to some degree to control the masses, why has the distortion of Islam lead to human rights abuses and extreme oppression of women in every country where it is the majority religion? I can’t think of a similar theocracy under any other religion?

EasternStandard · 28/08/2024 22:13

newtlover · 28/08/2024 22:05

thank you for this voice of sanity
this thread began with OP's concern for the women and girls of Afghanistan and asking what we can do to help them.
many of the more recent posts seem to come from people who have never spoken to the many educated and articulate women in this country and elsewhere who are Muslims AND advocates for women's rights. As a former colleague of mine said, 'it's never about the religion, its about the culture and the men who will distort any religion to get power'
On another thread, a poster said that Islam mandates education for men And women, both.
It's not Islam we need to fear, its men.

In this case it's also an oppressive regime which is brutal and led by the dangerous belief system of the Taliban

Just switching to men doesn't help identify the problem

pinkhooves · 28/08/2024 22:12

To the person who said we can't babysit them forever.

Actually the soldiers just got up and left all their weapons/cars/tanks to the Taliban basically

My in-laws are Afghan, so are my children (1/2) it hurts me that my husband's cousins in Afghanistan have had their education cut short.
His auntie has a job but doesn't get paid for months at a time and has had a pay cut that's equivalent to £45 a month.
Majority of the soldiers in the Taliban grew up in the west.

newtlover · 28/08/2024 22:05

TooBigForMyBoots · 28/08/2024 21:45

Ok, but is it racist to be concerned that the Taliban ideology (that they claim is the one true interpretation of Islam) and others like it might spread?

It didn't spread in the 80s and 90s. I am no more concerned about it impacting me now than I was then. Taliban horror is being inflicted on Afgan women, not us. We can't fix it, I don't think anyone can. But there are things we can do.

Amplify their voices when we get to hear them.

Don't use their suffering to promote racism or Islamophobia. Most Afgan women are Muslim, whether you like it or not. All of them are foreign.

Do what you can to help the Afgan women who made it to the UK. They will help their sisters and mothers back home.

Stop amplifying racist, Islamophobic shite and lies. Brave women have escaped the Taliban, Isis, Iran they deserve so much more than to fear for their lives, their children's lives and thrir livelihoods in the UK as many have done recently.Sad

If you are concerned about women and want to act locally, we have a huge problem with femicide, rape culture and DV. Right here in the UK individual women are suffering the same restrictions under threat of death from their partner. You can help these women and it will benefit everyone.Thanks

Edited

thank you for this voice of sanity
this thread began with OP's concern for the women and girls of Afghanistan and asking what we can do to help them.
many of the more recent posts seem to come from people who have never spoken to the many educated and articulate women in this country and elsewhere who are Muslims AND advocates for women's rights. As a former colleague of mine said, 'it's never about the religion, its about the culture and the men who will distort any religion to get power'
On another thread, a poster said that Islam mandates education for men And women, both.
It's not Islam we need to fear, its men.

angeldelite · 28/08/2024 21:52

Menopausalsourpuss · 28/08/2024 21:38

Er I don't "support" Christianity, I am a Christian so of course I care more about Christians being persecuted than other religions (although am concerned about Jews being persecuted which is also happening, not so much in the ME as they have been wiped out apart from Israel). I'm not sure who you think Christians have abused or who they're persecuting your whole post is abit muddled.

Edited

😂

angeldelite · 28/08/2024 21:50

Followyouinto · 28/08/2024 19:35

@angeldelite how boring. Another poster implying anyone who steps out of line on the ‘allowed’ comments must EDL/ a racist etc. I’m actually Irish so from a population who were oppressed by the British and I’m a young woman with a daughter hence finding the idea of a Muslim majority horrifying - I would hate my daughter to be oppressed like so many women in Muslim majority countries. It’s an awful life for women and it’s a valid concern.

Saying Muslims are taking over the country is racist. I don’t know who reported the comment but it was deleted for being racist.

If you don’t like Muslims being in the UK, you are free to move somewhere else.

TooBigForMyBoots · 28/08/2024 21:45

Ok, but is it racist to be concerned that the Taliban ideology (that they claim is the one true interpretation of Islam) and others like it might spread?

It didn't spread in the 80s and 90s. I am no more concerned about it impacting me now than I was then. Taliban horror is being inflicted on Afgan women, not us. We can't fix it, I don't think anyone can. But there are things we can do.

Amplify their voices when we get to hear them.

Don't use their suffering to promote racism or Islamophobia. Most Afgan women are Muslim, whether you like it or not. All of them are foreign.

Do what you can to help the Afgan women who made it to the UK. They will help their sisters and mothers back home.

Stop amplifying racist, Islamophobic shite and lies. Brave women have escaped the Taliban, Isis, Iran they deserve so much more than to fear for their lives, their children's lives and thrir livelihoods in the UK as many have done recently.Sad

If you are concerned about women and want to act locally, we have a huge problem with femicide, rape culture and DV. Right here in the UK individual women are suffering the same restrictions under threat of death from their partner. You can help these women and it will benefit everyone.Thanks

Menopausalsourpuss · 28/08/2024 21:38

Shakeoffyourchains · 28/08/2024 20:49

Christianity is currently the largest and most influential religion in the world, with a history of extreme and ongoing persecution, oppression, and abuse towards women.

Can I ask why you’re not concerned about the influence of Christianity but are about the influence of Islam? Is it because you support Christianity so are OK with the abuses carried out in it's name?

In any case, it’s not naive in the slightest; it’s just sensible not to be worried about something that isn't going to happen in the UK.

Islam isn't predicted to become the largest religion globally until towards the end of the century, and even then, it won’t be a majority. In the UK, it’s very unlikely to ever become the majority religion—certainly not within anyone on this forum’s lifetime.

As I said, society and cultures aren't static, a hundred or so years ago many people where disgusted by the idea of women having the vote or people being openly gay but it happened anyway. If Islam does go on to become a world conquering religion in 100 years time then there's not a great deal you'll be able to do to stop it.

Unless you're advocating for the persecution of Muslims in western countries to prevent it spreading further, of course?

Er I don't "support" Christianity, I am a Christian so of course I care more about Christians being persecuted than other religions (although am concerned about Jews being persecuted which is also happening, not so much in the ME as they have been wiped out apart from Israel). I'm not sure who you think Christians have abused or who they're persecuting your whole post is abit muddled.

FGSChargethecarregularly · 28/08/2024 21:35

I read the thread you started earlier in the week @Sugarcoldturkey. Thank you for starting another one.

I donated to Rushkhana’s Foundation on Monday (at a poster on that thread’s suggestion) and today set up a SO for The Linda Norgrove Foundation. Incidentally what a fascinating life Linda Norgrove led before she was killed during an unsuccessful rescue attempt after being kidnapped in 2010.

What an amazing woman.

This is such an informative thread. Apologies I haven’t yet read all of it (I will do though) but I wanted to post this screenshot of (painless) donation info at the bottom of The Linda Norgrove Foundation website.

To be shocked this isn't getting more coverage?
Blueybanditbingochilli · 28/08/2024 21:26

‘Raising awareness’ will do absolutely nothing bar make those discussing it feel like they’re taking some kind of action. Unfortunately sometimes there is no answer - or not one that’s practical or desirable. This is one of those cases.

The reality is the West spent a very long time, and a lot of money, training and equipping an army who abandoned their posts. The west can’t occupy and babysit Afghanistan forever, so this was inevitable sadly.

I dislike the knee jerk response that any discussion of Islam and its impact on society is racist - I don’t want to live in a country where disapproval or questioning of a religion is a crime or instantly silenced (like in Afghanistan!). I think discussing Islam and the impact it has in wider society is absolutely valid, as is discussing any other religion.

We can’t escape the fact that while other religions have had a renaissance and generally developed into liberal countries with human rights, virtually every predominantly Muslim country has not achieved this - in fact off the top of my head I can’t think of a single Muslim country that tolerates homosexuality (let alone allows gay marriage), or grants women equal rights to men. Therefore there’s no reason to believe a potential Muslim majority UK would be any different.

Saying ‘oh it won’t happen in our lifetime’ is really glib. I have a daughter (and a son), I care about them, I care about their theoretical future children. Letting the country potentially slide into somewhere with no rights for women/gay people/religious minorities/children ‘because I’ll be dead so I’ll be okay’ is awful.

TooBigForMyBoots · 28/08/2024 21:09

Followyouinto · 28/08/2024 19:35

@angeldelite how boring. Another poster implying anyone who steps out of line on the ‘allowed’ comments must EDL/ a racist etc. I’m actually Irish so from a population who were oppressed by the British and I’m a young woman with a daughter hence finding the idea of a Muslim majority horrifying - I would hate my daughter to be oppressed like so many women in Muslim majority countries. It’s an awful life for women and it’s a valid concern.

So many people bring sucked into division by so many lies.🤦‍♀️

I'm glad misinformation and racist lies are being reported and deleted.

Thurien · 28/08/2024 21:01

Takoneko · 28/08/2024 19:47

Still nowhere close to the numbers needed to make Britain’s adult voting age population 50% Muslim in 25 years. Not even close.

Your numbers are miles off.

Not miles off. Years off.

There is a subtle difference.

EasternStandard · 28/08/2024 20:57

Shakeoffyourchains · 28/08/2024 20:49

Christianity is currently the largest and most influential religion in the world, with a history of extreme and ongoing persecution, oppression, and abuse towards women.

Can I ask why you’re not concerned about the influence of Christianity but are about the influence of Islam? Is it because you support Christianity so are OK with the abuses carried out in it's name?

In any case, it’s not naive in the slightest; it’s just sensible not to be worried about something that isn't going to happen in the UK.

Islam isn't predicted to become the largest religion globally until towards the end of the century, and even then, it won’t be a majority. In the UK, it’s very unlikely to ever become the majority religion—certainly not within anyone on this forum’s lifetime.

As I said, society and cultures aren't static, a hundred or so years ago many people where disgusted by the idea of women having the vote or people being openly gay but it happened anyway. If Islam does go on to become a world conquering religion in 100 years time then there's not a great deal you'll be able to do to stop it.

Unless you're advocating for the persecution of Muslims in western countries to prevent it spreading further, of course?

Where would you rather be?

I know where I'd choose for my dd and me, without doubt.