To not understand this , dp is leaving me

This relationship sounds hellish. Send him back to his mother.

You absolutely responded the right way (which is impressive at 4am with a screaming baby) but to be fair that same 4am with a screaming baby means I wouldn’t take what he said too seriously. You both will be emotional and tired from a small child so if he is a good guy otherwise (positive that he was trying to settle the baby) then give him some slack.

How weird that almost 5 months later someone replies on this thread, and both replies get deleted.

I suspect the Op will be surprised to receive a notification re a thread she didn't return to and has probably forgotten she wrote in the first place.

F

You have a baby, that’s hard enough in itself
let alone a grown man who’s behaving like a child too. This would give me the serious ick, he’s turning it round on you and sounds like he’s done it before. Who has time for that? Sounds like life would be easier just you and your baby.

I would have probably snapped back just like you did. Some things should never be said, no matter how stressed you are and threatening to leave is absolutely 100% beyond what is acceptable. It's not a game, you have child, he needs to grow up.

Honestly OP, is this man child really what you want?

Have you not read her update? They have both on several occasions threatened to end the relationship during an argument - that doesn't really cover either of them in glory now, does it? They are both as bad as each other and it’s sad they’ve bought a child into a toxic relationship.

I don't think she does. If someone is leaving why not hold the door open for them and why beg

I don't think that posters should be excusing him saying he's leaving as just being tired. That's extremely emotionally abusive to keep threatening to leave. Youre in or you're out hun.

He's pathetic and just like my ex who left me in a similar argument where he played the victim when I was 34 weeks pregnant

If he's like my ex he will shirk all responsibility until baby is older and the nursery fees aren't as expensive and the nights are better and he has a new gf to live with and then he will start bullying you with lawyers trying to get 5050

Well, I hope his mum sends him straight back.
You are both adults who have decided to have a child together.

Time for you to both grow up and focus on the baby.

What a toxic environment to bring a baby into. You should have worked in stability and communication before conceiving. Now you have a baby in the mix, of a relationship where the two of you threaten to (and actually do) split up on a regular basis, what effect do you think this will have when the baby is old enough to work out what is going on ?

But the other times wasn’t it OP talking of leaving?

Tbh, you both sound like a pair of teenagers. You both need to work on the things so that nobody is threatening to end the relationship every 5 minutes.

Mmm, having read your update, it sounds like you’re bickering rather a lot and both regularly threatening to end the relationship, rather than trying to problem solve and pull together.

TBF he did apologise to you. Perhaps you should’ve accepted that and had a chat at some point later when you’re less tired.

But I assume now you’ve been left alone today with a sick baby and v little sleep while he’s on leave and not sharing the responsibility. Can he not come home and look after the baby to give you a break? Or take the baby back to his mum’s for a few hours? It sounds like he’s struggling to cope but that shouldn’t mean you’re left on your own.

At very least, he needs to communicate how he’s feeling and what he needs rather than threatening to leave and running away.

The difference is that later on I wouldn't have been too proud to say "you know I would hate it if you meant what you said so let's talk about how we feel now and how we can move forward with dealing with times like this without taking it out on each other'

except she didn't take anything out on him. He shouted at her. she told him not to. He said he would leave. She pointd out the door. He then cried because she didn't beg him.

The above approach is EXACTLY what men like this want - so that she takes at least 50% of the blame.

Re. Divorcing - I know it’s not the main point of this thread but since a few people have mentioned divorce I just wanted to point out they may not be married.

OP refers to him as DP.

Jesus you’re threatening to breaking up with each other left right and centre, that poor baby stuck in the middle of all that shit.

Home, not gone

Tell him to get his arse gone right now and help look after the baby or not to bother coming back at all. AND MEAN IT.
I couldn't be doing with this childish shit tbh.

he is not ' emotional ' he is manipulative.

Once you've got a child to look after, this break-up/make-up stuff needs to stop. That's high school level drama. Get some sleep and either decide to work as a team or to separate.