Was I being unkind? Women filming themselves in their pants

That's social media for you, and unfortunately you will see more and more of it. I've seen ones where they are completely naked but positioned in a way to not show private areas and call it 'body positivity'. The less you have on the more audience reach they get, Instagram and tiktok prefer those algorithms. Sometimes it's done on purpose to get more audience. I wouldn't waste your time leaving comments it's all part of their strategy.

@HolyPeaches I thought you were implying the OP was too old to be impacted in anyway? Of course it’s more damaging to younger people & I wouldn’t claim otherwise but I just don’t think it’s exclusively damaging to younger people.

However my original point still stands, if the OP, (not a child or teenager) finds a certain TikTok video uncomfortable then she should just scroll past.

The whole point of SM is to be interactive & for users to engage with content. Why is it wrong to comment that something makes you uncomfortable if it does so?

There are kids on the app. Should 13yo boys be watching 35-40yo women getting dressed?

The stuff they're watching are much much more disturbing and fucking them up.

I think the best rule in social media is if you don't have anything nice to say. Just scroll. The place is so toxic as it is that it better not engage. Maybe if you genuinely have a contributing opinion but it was never going to be taken as anything but uncontructive criticism. Weather you meant it as such. Just scroll.

Most Here are not worried about a teenage boy getting turned on ffs. Read the thread.

Is this the next step? Models required to to be in their bra and knickers in order to show a frock or a jumpsuit?

The concern is the broader context.

OP engaged because she clearly thinks it is worth discussing.

YANBU. I don’t have TikTok as I don’t want to see vacuous, attention seeking people.

To those saying it’s none of op’s business. I disagree, surely posting on the internet makes it others business.

The only people to blame for women being raped, abused, murdered or subjected to domestic violence are the people - mainly men - who carry out those crimes. It is nothing to do with what a woman wears.

Absolutely.

We're talking about this in the wider context of social media in general and a wider onslaught of things we might rather not see - for multiple reasons.

Yeah yeah it’s their bodies and they can do what they want etc but it does have an affect on everyone else. It encourages casual sexism. It helps continue the dialogue that women are just there to show off their bodies. And that to achieve anything (sell something, be entertaining, whatever) they have to do so.

its the bigger picture as you say.

You're imposing your moral values and your modesty culture on other people

But we live in a world where women who are victims of sexual assault & rape very often do not get justice. That justice generally comes down to how credible a victim they are with prejudices & stereotypes centred around the victim throughout the investigation & prosecution. Society imposes those morals on woman & it’s naive to pretend they don’t exist.

You should have said: "I like the jumpsuit but I don't like your nickers", if the tip toker is using her freedom of expression to show her nickers to the public and has a comment section for people to comment OP is entitled to give her opinion on said nickers.

@TheBossOfMe I definitely don't feel this is the worst thing online at all!

There are multiple themes all going on here for me and I'm dragging them into OPs post a little unnecessarily perhaps. Eg

Annoying attention seeking behaviour
Sexualisation which is much more difficult to try avoid and shield kids from

For me, my internal trigger on this particular video based on the description give would simply be ' annoying attention seeker category ' . I'd need to see it to know if it goes into the latter categories for me

Oh we can be. But not the same as a child or teenager can be damaged by certain content online.

I’m assuming you didn’t mean 30 year olds when you said “Is there not a wider conversation about this stuff on social media & the impact on young people? Or is better to just ignore it?”

Apologies if you were in fact including 30 year olds in this. But I assumed you meant children and teenagers.

However my original point still stands, if the OP, (not a child or teenager) finds a certain TikTok video uncomfortable then she should just scroll past.

Indeed. I'm sure plenty of people back in the day would have found that outfit unnecessarily racy.

im with you OP - I’m not a fan.

it’s attention seeking IMO and I’m tired of seeing half naked people on the internet. You can block but as soon as you do there’s 10 more videos.

saying that, I don’t comment because it doesn’t go down well and I don’t want to be attacked in the comment section 😂

@AGentleMusing that's a really good point. I have to confess, I get directly annoyed at the women doing it. My immediate thought would be, oh stop being so annoying and attention seeking. I get frustrated with men online also in different ways.

I need to spend less time online!

And HER great-grandmother would have been shocked and appalled at her shamelessly flaunting her calves like that.

Yeah yeah it’s their bodies and they can do what they want etc but it does have an affect on everyone else. It encourages casual sexism. It helps continue the dialogue that women are just there to show off their bodies. And that to achieve anything (sell something, be entertaining, whatever) they have to do so.

No she’s watching a piece of content created in a specific genre that is about what clothes look like on women with certain body types. She can just choose to scroll past. Nobody is forcing her to watch it.

And anyone who thinks this is the most sexualised content teenage boys can find on the internet are deluded.

Because women in their 20\s and 30's just scream it's empowering/it's just a body/what does it matter whilst us oldies are shaking our heads wondering what the hell happened to decorum and class.

I agree with you. It's grim. I want to see my DD success for being academically gifted and sporty. To be clever and strong. I do not want to see her posing in her underwear for likes. She even says herself, they're not the brightest are they.

Too much internet, not enough genuine real life. My DD's insp;iration is her Great Grandmother. A simply incredible woman who wouldnt' have dreamt of posting herself on the internet for all to see.

As you say, men don’t do this, or at least not nearly as often as women. I think this kind of thing, along with pouting photos and posing in front of mirrors staring into a phone let women as a whole down. It doesn’t help with being taken seriously in things that really matter.

I agree with you. Could have been raised in a more blunt way to be honest, suggesting (more directly than this) that you don't want to be the source of teenage boys self-pleasure.

👆

Why shouldn't it be? You're imposing your moral values and your modesty culture on other people. Why did it become normalised for us to show our ankles? Our knees? Our shoulders? At one point (and still is some places) all of those were considered indecent. The only person who gets to determine how many or few clothes they are comfortable being filmed in is the person being filmed.

eh come on, force it. your body - your choice. her filming herself in pants - her choice.

Fuck me ! The world is full of problems of women being raped, abused, murdered, domestic violence but oh it’s fine to prance about in skimpy knickers and bra - unjustifiable.