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Original poster

Was I being unkind? Women filming themselves in their pants

335 replies

LivingInStrangeTimes · 27/08/2024 20:16

I was scrolling through tiktok and came across a video of a woman showing a jumpsuit outfit which she is reccomending people buy.

The strange part to me is that the video begins with her standing there in tiny knickers and a bra then she gets dressed into the jumpsuit.

I perhaps shouldn't have said anything at all but left the following comment

"You look lovely. I'm not being unkind but why has it become so normalised to upload videos of ourselves in our underwear? You don't have to expose yourself like that to show the garment x"

Cue a pile on and her getting pissed off because apparently I'm only saying it because of her body type - which had absolutely nothing to do with it for me. We actually look quite similar in the buff!

I'm seeing more and more of these videos and it has become the new normal and done thing on social media for people who want to show clothes, to stand their in their pants beforehand and have you watch them get dressed.

Was I being unreasonable to say what I said and am I unreasonable for thinking its fucking weird and unnecessary?

"I want to show you this dress, but first here's my knickers!"

Edited to add - I mention women specifically because I'm not seeing any of these videos from men.. and nor do I want to 😐

OP posts:
HeySummerWhereAreYou · 27/08/2024 21:18

😆

HolyPeaches · 27/08/2024 21:16

Glitterglitch · 27/08/2024 21:10

If a video like that makes you uncomfortable then just scroll past and don’t give it another thought.

Is there not a wider conversation about this stuff on social media & the impact on young people? Or is better to just ignore it?

I’m assuming the OP isn’t a young person?

However, if she is being negatively impacted by the content she is seeing on social media then perhaps she can join the wider conversations and campaign for a safer online world for everyone.

But if it’s not that deep for her, then surely she’s mature enough to just ignore content she doesn’t like.

HeliotropePJs · 27/08/2024 21:14

Sounds weird to me, but I don't particularly care to see random people's clothing choices at all, really, so none of it is for me. That said, I'd know enough to assume nothing good would come of commenting about it on someone's specific video of themself in their underwear. That's never going to end well.

whyNotaNice · 27/08/2024 21:14

There are many women who model very revealing clothing these days. Not sure is it anything anymore apart from the ones who are into old fashioned morality and yes, I agree, your voices are being mocked and drowned. It should not be the case, just as it with pro life

Original poster
LivingInStrangeTimes · 27/08/2024 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You frequent mumsnet yet think what I said was unkind, give over 😂

OP posts:
AlwaysKindaKnewYoudBeTheDeathOfMe · 27/08/2024 21:14

Pantaloons99 · 27/08/2024 20:57

@AlwaysKindaKnewYoudBeTheDeathOfMe 🤣 blimmin hope not.

When 'Readers Wives' mag was all these kids had at their disposal, possibly the truth. 🤷‍♀️🤮🤣

True! Hardly did anyone any harm did it, this is no different I guess!

Nsky62 · 27/08/2024 21:14

LivingInStrangeTimes · 27/08/2024 20:26

I don't have an issue with the woman's body. I just don't think it's necessary for me or anybody else to see her in her underwear.

There are kids on the app. Should 13yo boys be watching 35-40yo women getting dressed?

I have a daughter and I'd be upset If she posted something like that.

I don't think it should be normalised. What next?

There's a reason changing rooms are enclosed.

There are many reasons for me and none of them are to do with her personally.

Show quote history

If you were brought up seeing your parents nude ( I mean you almost see folk naked swimming, I do aqua fit), it’s not such a big deal.
To a certain extent it’s healthy, to see others as they are
Tho if out and about dress appropriately, , my view

AlwaysKindaKnewYoudBeTheDeathOfMe · 27/08/2024 21:13

Pantaloons99 · 27/08/2024 20:54

@Garlicfest I need to see this video to really say anything valid on this one. My mind is going to a place regards other videos I've seen so much of - possibly nothing like this.

I love seeing anyone on a beach enjoying the experience,dressed or naked, fat, thin, whatever. I don't even care if my son sees half naked ladies bouncing about on the beach if they so wish. Did it myself.

When I really challenge myself as to what it is that bothers me about it - I think honestly, it just makes me cringe seeing ladies grabbing attention all over the place online - and I can't escape it. I can't escape having to see it, I can't control the extent of it online and how normalised it is. I really dislike seeing women who are mums flashing the gash. Yes I'm mum shaming I'm sure. ( I appreciate this video I have not seen- I'm speaking in a wider context).

I can choose to go to the beach. We can choose to walk away. We can kind of escape it. It's not continually thrust in my face, in kids' faces.

If it's anything like the ones I've seen, it's probably less than a second of a woman in her sensible underwear, then a series of quick edits as she puts on every item, then the final full outfit is the long shot.

It's not sexual at all.

Glitterglitch · 27/08/2024 21:13

you sound like a very unkind and deeply unpleasant person

Lol, she didn’t send a death threat!

Longfrock · 27/08/2024 21:11

It's not something I'd do, or particularly want to watch, but it's beyond me why you'd comment like that. What was it supposed to achieve?

idkbroidk · 27/08/2024 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
LivingInStrangeTimes · 27/08/2024 21:11

This reply has been deleted

This is the work of a previously banned poster.

I will, of your pearls.

OP posts:
Glitterglitch · 27/08/2024 21:10

If a video like that makes you uncomfortable then just scroll past and don’t give it another thought.

Is there not a wider conversation about this stuff on social media & the impact on young people? Or is better to just ignore it?

KraftServices · 27/08/2024 21:10

Yes, what you said was unkind and unnecessary. But you don't seem to think so, so not quite sure why you've bothered to ask us 🤷🏻‍♀️

Glitterglitch · 27/08/2024 21:08

How else will they get clicks?!

Original poster
LivingInStrangeTimes · 27/08/2024 21:07

Lwrenn · 27/08/2024 20:57

The Internet love a good pile on, I struggle reading the room at times so I get it a fair amount, so I really don't comment on anything unless I want to chatter about it. Just in case I say something massively offensive whilst thinking I'm just being chatty and trying to be friendly. It can backfire massively, I think when you're a faceless name on a forum or something trying to be helpful and nice can seem insincere and condescending. I'm neither of those but I'm someone who is very much, "no strangers, only pals" and people don't want to be my friend, they just want cold hard facts during a discussion. So I'm trying hard nowadays to be less like a labrador 😂

Years ago in a group I was in selling second hand bags some woman was asking for more money than the bag was retailing for in the sales, more than 1 person wanted to buy the overpriced and (badly worn bag) so I linked the bag sale.
Now, I didn't realise at the time that I'd just committed a massive sin, I was trying to be helpful.
Even women wanting to buy the bag piled on me and told me to fuck off 😂
BTW I didn't mention the bag for sale was in shit condition, I literally linked the sale with an emoji or something else innocuous.
Fucking terrored I was 😂😂😂

This made me laugh 😂

You sound ace 😊

OP posts:
Nervousmoosegoose · 27/08/2024 21:05

LivingInStrangeTimes · 27/08/2024 20:16

I was scrolling through tiktok and came across a video of a woman showing a jumpsuit outfit which she is reccomending people buy.

The strange part to me is that the video begins with her standing there in tiny knickers and a bra then she gets dressed into the jumpsuit.

I perhaps shouldn't have said anything at all but left the following comment

"You look lovely. I'm not being unkind but why has it become so normalised to upload videos of ourselves in our underwear? You don't have to expose yourself like that to show the garment x"

Cue a pile on and her getting pissed off because apparently I'm only saying it because of her body type - which had absolutely nothing to do with it for me. We actually look quite similar in the buff!

I'm seeing more and more of these videos and it has become the new normal and done thing on social media for people who want to show clothes, to stand their in their pants beforehand and have you watch them get dressed.

Was I being unreasonable to say what I said and am I unreasonable for thinking its fucking weird and unnecessary?

"I want to show you this dress, but first here's my knickers!"

Edited to add - I mention women specifically because I'm not seeing any of these videos from men.. and nor do I want to 😐

Finally I’ve found someone who is thinking the same thing as me!! Yes you could scroll on but with the different algorithms it may just pop up on your screen! They should just say hi I want more followers so I’m going to take my clothes off , girls have no respect for themselves anymore I’m 25 and I’m seeing the horrible effects it’s having (It’s different if you are a model as you are only going to be for a certain product ) I wouldn’t click online to look at a dress and see a few pics of the model naked and then with the dress on would I?

HangingOver · 27/08/2024 21:05

It's better for engagement. She's making money.

Original poster
LivingInStrangeTimes · 27/08/2024 21:04

HolyPeaches · 27/08/2024 20:56

Was I being unreasonable to say what I said and am I unreasonable for thinking its fucking weird and unnecessary?

Directly to the poster? Yes, it’s unreasonable to say that. They are obviously comfortable with their body. They wouldn’t have uploaded the video otherwise. You were wasting your time.

A woman in underwear isn’t fucking weird and unnecessary. Do you squirm at women in bikinis? Do you find it weird walking round the lingerie sections in department stores seeing images of women in said underwear on marketing displays?

If a video like that makes you uncomfortable then just scroll past and don’t give it another thought. Commenting on it saying “You don't have to expose yourself like that to show the garment” is patronising and you know it.

I don't squirm at women in bikinis no, but I would probably think "what the fuck" if I walked past one on the school run in the middle of the day, no beach, pool or sun in sight.

Lingerie/swimwear ads are completely different to what I have described and you know that.

If you were looking at a top on vinted and you were scrolling through the images looking for the label and suddenly right before your eyes appeared an arse in all its glory.. you'd think it quite strange.

As would vinted I'm sure.

OP posts:
Sunsetbeachhouse · 27/08/2024 21:03

KreedKafer · 27/08/2024 20:22

Christ, how incredibly patronising of you.

Why the hell shouldn’t they be in their bra and knickers, if they’re comfortable with it? It’s their body, and none of your business whether they choose to show it. They’re just in bra and knickers. It’s no different from anything you’d see on a beach or in a catalogue. Good on them for not being self-conscious or ashamed of their body, I say.

If you post vidoes on tik tok you need to accept good and bad feedback. That's a given. I don't think op was trying to be patronising because in the context of the issue op genuinely doesn't understand the point of the creator being in her underwear first. Neither do I...we don't try clothes on in shops in full view of the rest of the customers in our underwear, so why are ppl (usually women) being utterly ridiculous? And as op pointed men don't really make stupid vidoes like this.. they wouldn't lower themselves.

Beth216 · 27/08/2024 21:03

It's attention seeking behaviour due to low self esteem - demonstrated by how badly she reacted to your comment.
Why on earth do people spend time watching other people get dressed? The internet just get weirder and weirder with the banal shit people will watch.

Conkersinautumn · 27/08/2024 21:03

Sex sells, more skin more views. Same old same old.

Lwrenn · 27/08/2024 21:03

Pantaloons99 · 27/08/2024 20:59

@Lwrenn love that 🤣

I'm glad someone enjoyed it! I was mortified for ages! It was when Facebook started to take off for people interacting outside of status updates about cups of tea and bad weather.
My notifications blew up, just women calling me a snotty bitch 😂😂
I still can't cope with Facebook, at least people telling me off here couldn't pick me out of a line up 😂

PolitePearlMoose · 27/08/2024 21:02

This reply has been deleted

This is the work of a previously banned poster.

Diyextension · 27/08/2024 21:02

LivingInStrangeTimes · 27/08/2024 20:26

I don't have an issue with the woman's body. I just don't think it's necessary for me or anybody else to see her in her underwear.

There are kids on the app. Should 13yo boys be watching 35-40yo women getting dressed?

I have a daughter and I'd be upset If she posted something like that.

I don't think it should be normalised. What next?

There's a reason changing rooms are enclosed.

There are many reasons for me and none of them are to do with her personally.

Show quote history

I think 13 year old boys have seen a lot more on the internet than women in bra and parnts 🤣

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