to feel hurt at being left out by family members?

I would be hurt too, but is it possible they didn't actually invite anyone? Maybe the other two siblings heard about it and either bought tickets separately or asked if they could tag along?

I would definitely say something along the lines of "the pics looked fab, we would have come if we had known you were all going, let us know next time and we'll come too." It's not stirring up issues or blaming anyone for going but making it clear you would like to be invited next time.

This would hurt me too, you have every reason to feel that way.
personally, I would pick the sibling in closest too & approach it in a non confrontational way. Say ‘it’s a shame we didn’t know you were going, we would have loved to tag along- maybe next time?’
I hope you’re ok. X

For me I would have hated a festival. I would say I hope that you all had a great time it looks amazing we’d love to join you in something fun like that if you do it again. No saying you’re upset or blaming someone just stating that fact.

Do you know that the siblings were invited though? They could have just decided to go themselves either entirely independently or inspired by DB going and talking about it and decided it sounded fun. It is maybe odd that neither of the other 2 siblings mentioned it if ye have met in the last week so nut maybe it just didn't come up

I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to feel hurt by this. If all siblings and children were going except you and yours, they should have asked you along. I would say something. It will at least make them aware of it and hopefully they'll be more mindful in future to not leave you out. It's not nice for you or for your kids. Unfortunately, me and my children have been excluded many times by my family so I know how hurtful it is

I don't know what the heck is going on with this thread lol your not being unreasonable OP. They've excluded you and your kids knowingly, think about all the logistics and planning to get there etc. Maybe mention something to the one sibling who has noticed, discreetly, and if there is an innocent explanation they might let you know but I doubt it. If it was me i would send a message on the group chat saying what happened, it would have been nice to have been invited, thanks guys. But you may see that as confrontational x

I would have to ask them outright. You can ask them without sounding confrontational or needy, it doesn't have to escalate into a rift. I would do it either face to face or when on a group video call with all of them. Be light hearted and ask to be invited next time, because it looks like fun &you love spending time together.

If you don't say anything though, you may miss out on other events - who knows how many others there's been but no photos taken

Yes you said that you knew one sibling was going??

Could you just say to them that from their pictures it looked like great fun and if they go again, you’d really fancy it? I understand you’re hurt but given how close you are, I’m sure it was unintentional and not worth falling out over.

Just ask- is there a reason I was excluded. When they come up with their reasons just say I'm feeling pretty hurt by this, and no more.

Yes the moment has been and gone. But it's upset you, so you should definitely say how you feel, if just for next time.

YANBU.
I would be hurt.
This happens on my in laws side. They treat me “not so nicely.”
Imagine you get a bottle of perfume from Charlie (nothing wrong with that) but the others get Dior/Chanel. If you complain you look greedy, if you don’t, you accept their behaviour. Your “D”H sees nothing wrong and states they aren’t materialistic but also doesn’t “believe in presents” however expects and accepts presents.
it’s a mind fuck.
they have a excluded you. If you complain they will say well we didn’t think you wanted to go! If you accept that it will happen again and again. If you don’t accept it and get “stroppy” they’ll say well we won’t plan anything or say they don’t want you to go as “look what’s happened last time.”
be honest OP.
Has this happened before in other ways?

I can't believe the way some posters have responded. Of course you have every right to be upset, anyone would be, as being the only one not asked. It would be different if there were 2 siblings not asked, but leaving you out like that? Not good. If it was me, I would distance myself and see if they come to you and ask why you're upset. But I can be petty 😂 hope you get over it, it's not a nice feeling getting left out

Also no, it’s not choosing who they want to be with. In my in-laws case they will specifically drive 200 miles to take a picture with some distant family member they haven’t seen in a decade because they got a sniff that there was a falling out and they want the gossip.

then a selfie with “FAMILY” appears to wind up the other party 🤣

If you know they’ll say no anyway, it’s no skin off your nose to ask them. They won’t come, but you won’t have been an arsehole and left them out. Same outcome but no hurt feelings.

Isn’t this just ‘people choosing who they want to have over at one time and/or who they want to do a specific activity with’? I mean, there’s no requirement to invite everyone to everything all of the time, and if, as you say, different people aren’t invited each time, it’s not as though they’re cutting anyone out…?

You can have a ‘lovely family weekend’ without having literally every member of the family present…

Yes I agree. It doesn’t cost anything to ask, even if you know it’s probably a no, at least you can always say you did the right thing.

My in laws do this all the time. They leave different family members out of everything, so I know it’s not just us. Then flaunt it all online after “lovely family weekend” etc knowing full well our kids weren’t included or they are off having tea with someone else’s estranged dad, or someone they fell out with 20 years ago. It’s all drama. We see them every week, they have ample chance to ask but they don’t because they don’t want to.

when questioned, they will say “we didn’t think you’d want to come” or, if about someone else they’ve left out “she’s never said yes before”. It’s a deflection.

so I think people fall in to two categories, those who think “it’ll probably be no but I’ll ask anyway to be polite and make them feel included, as it wont cost me anything” and those who think “why should I bother asking if all I hear is no.” I am in the first camp so get hurt (or used to). In laws are in the second camp.

I have 5 siblings … see most of them weekly, family chat etc. Arranging anything can be hard, as you feel like you have to invite everyone, and it turns into a big planning nightmare. Sometimes it’s nice for two of them to do something together, and you have to learn to be not pissed off about it.

I can completely understand why OP feels how she does.

They should have included her.

Why though if she has never shown an interest before & didn't this time when it was mentioned?

Op doesn't seem to know (unless I've missed it) if people were invited or just decided to go along.

I'm torn on this. I'm one of four and I've been to music festivals with one or other of my siblings and families at different points. I wouldn't invite anyone as we couldn't afford to pay for other families and wouldn't want to put other siblings under any financial pressure to come along. It would be a conversation where we said something like "we're thinking of going to x festival this year - they have y playing" and see if anyone else thinks that would be good and if they want to book tickets for themselves.

Given how much many festival tickets cost (£278 per adult for Wilderness plus spending money on ridiculously overpriced food and drink ) I wouldn't expect anyone to come unless they were into the festival as a whole. If the point was to spend time together rather than a festival, I think you could suggest that as a separate thing and see if everyone fancied a weekend away camping or something.

If you are up for a festival for another year, it is worth saying something like "I saw your pictures and it looked really fun, if you're going next year let us know as we'd definitely be up for it" but with the risk that you would end up going with just your DB as the others don't fancy the next line up or can't afford it.

OP
YANBU
It's the thought that counts and you were not thought about, that just hurts!
If you were thought about it was in a negative way and resulted in no invite.

I would not do this on a family member of mine and I'd be hurt if it was done on me.

I'd still like to know their reason, for future reference!

I would be upset too, but I would ask them why I wasn’t invited. If your family are reasonable people, and I’m going to assume they are, they are not going to think you are trying to create drama by asking why you weren’t invited. They will realise that you are upset that you weren’t invited and will invite you in the future. I doubt this was done to intentionally leave you out or hurt you, they’ve just been a bit thoughtless.

I would be hurt like you and I would wonder. It’s probably worth asking the family member ina kind of “i don’t want to make a fuss about this” kind of way, just to understand. And also to get it in the open. They probably realise they e made a faux pas and hence the trying to engage you today.