Wwyd? Brother passed ex info on.

Bill wasn't unreasonable to pass on the initial contact, it could have been for anything.

Let's face it though he strayed on shaky ground when he helped delete evidence.

It doesn't matter whether he is a friend of SIL or not. It wasn't very moral to collude once he knew something was clearly dodgy.

Ted is a bit of an AH. Bill not so much. There could have been lots of reasons for her wanting to get in touch

Bill done the right thing. He had no right to gatekeep the message.

Oh sorry, to answer your question, I wouldn’t pass the message on to a sibling if they were married or I knew the ex was no-good.

Ooh this happened to me @Elsiedarlingputthekettleon

My FB profile is not my name so an ex contacted my brother and asked him to tell me that he was going to be in my area and would like to meet up. My ex had turned out to be a cheater - I only found that out from a mutual friend after I had broken up with him but he always felt aggrieved because I had broken up with him “for no reason” - in fact, the reason was intuition, I just felt something wasn’t quite right anymore. Anyway I digress. I said no way but also I was mad with my brother for attempting to put the ex in touch with me because I wondered why he would do that…I’m happily married and this guy is a known cheat (in later life also). It just felt a bit disrespectful and shit-stirring and boundary-lacking of my brother. If I wanted to be in touch with randoms from my past, I would be already and I wouldn’t have made myself incognito on FB.

Anyway a while later DB told me someone else, not an ex, had contacted him and he wasn’t sure if it was ok after the previous time….as it wasn’t a cheating ex I didn’t mind on that occasion 🤷‍♀️

Ted is an adult - no need for Bill to protect him,

Also, if Bill shut her down, it's likely she would try someone else, so it's best for Bill to know she's asking around.

Ted deserves all of the wrath.

Even if Bill deleted the messages because Ted told him "She's an ex I'm going to try to hook up with and I don't want my wife to know" Ted is the only one to blame. Or do you think Bill should have warned his SiL that arsehole Ted was looking to cheat?

This is all on Ted. Bill didn’t even know she was an ex when he passed on the message, and even if he did, it’s not for him to gatekeep.
Ted’s the one who overstepped the mark. Don’t take it out on Bill.

Your sister should LTB
It's only a matter of time before he pulls this stunt again with someone else.

Bill did nothing wrong.

Ted would have found his own way into trouble if he's that way inclined

Did Ted change his name from Dick by any chance?

Bill isn’t unreasonable at all. It could have been innocent eg an ex colleague or someone with an important message like I found your wallet in the supermarket carpark. Can we organise a way to get it back to you?

Bill just passed the message. He could pass 100 messages to me even with more details and guess what? It would end with nothing. Ted is the one to blame .
He acted out on this message.

This makes it sound like Bill is a pimp.

Bill isn’t Ted’s agent or cock blocker. I assume that Ted is a grown man who does not need bodyguards to field his calls?

Be nice to Bill.

Bill told Ted someone was looking for him.

Bill - it's seems - had no idea of the history and no idea why she wanted contact.

This is all on Ted.

Bill has done nothing wrong. Ted would have eventually found someone to have an affair with. Ted is a shit, the attention shouldn't be diverted from his arsehole behaviour.

Not Bill's fault. At the point she contacted him, he didn't know who she was or why she needed to contact Ted.

She could have been the mother of a child Ted knew nothing about, or a recent widow of an old school friend, or someone who had discovered she was carrying an STD and needed to contact previous partners.

Ted wasn't at fault either for initially contacting her to see what she wanted

Up to that point, all good.

It's the bit that came after in the drip feed that is where it went wrong. And that is definitely down to Ted

Bill is innocent! Sounds like he didn’t know the woman was an ex, and even if he did know it’s not up to him to be Ted’s gatekeeper.

Ted’s a dick and is the only one you should be cross with.

Bill's done nothing wrong. He passed on information to Ted who is presumably an adult.

Now if he'd given out Ted's number to some 'random from the past', that would be stupid.

But if he simply conveyed a message, & the onus is on Ted to avoid/block contact with an old flame he still fancies. Perfectly obvious that getting in touch is a bloody daft thing for a married man to do.

So I would say Ted is a sleaze &/or idiot, whereas Bill is a neutral party.

Sorry but his brothers have no loyalty to your SIL. Maybe bill thought ted would be happier without SIL and this new woman would have treated him well. SILs best interests are irrelevant to them. You are focused on the wrong thing.

Bill's done nothing at all wrong.

Bill hasn’t messed up.

You can't blame Bill for this. He's probably pissed off he was even asked to pass a message on.