Dd wants to stop working because of rude customers

I would never encourage anybody to quit without a plan. Any job.
As an adult I'd say stick it out till she gets something new.
As a child in education I'd still encourage her to make a plan, even if that is to quit now to free up her time for seeking an alternative.

Sad for your daughter having to deal with the tight customers. As others have said, maybe ask the customer if she should call her manager if they're wanting 5p off an item ... in my experience it's the people with lots of money who try to get out of the odd 5p here and there. Alternatively she could just say 'it's two pounds and five pence' and then just wait. Or say 'it's a charity - we can take overpayments but not underpayments'. Good luck, whatever she decides.

@Dricol DS had a job selling/renewing car insurance as a teen before he found his chosen field-He said it was incredibly stressful- he got nosebleeds from stress, and said people swearing in your ears all day, or being listened in on by line managers.

He advised a teenager like him who was clobbered by high insurance quotes to go to another company who was better value at that time for teenaged drivers.

He was being listened in on..OOPS!

He said that job was awful, but it did teach him a lot about dealing with people.

I think knowing your own boundaries and feeling able to enforce them is an incredibly important lesson at her age. She has given it a very good go and doesn’t think it is for her, it is causing her distress and it sounds like the employer is unsupportive. I would be supporting my daughter’s decision.

Just to clarify one point OP, you said that the line manager is “hands off”, often in the back room, not on the shop floor and is only there half the day. How often is your 16 year old daughter left by herself in a shop in the hospital? Finding it difficult to deal with unpleasant/difficult customers when there is support available is one thing. Trying to do it when there is no one available to support you is something else entirely and is inappropriate for a 16 year old.

There are life lessons in sticking it out, but also, maybe more valuable life lessons in looking for something better. She's very young - is she likely to stay in education until degree level? Talk about what kind of part time jobs much suit her better. Or if she's likely to start full time work in a couple of years talk about that. Now is a good time (with a job on her cv) to look at other options, maybe with less stressed customers (people at hospital are understandably often caught up in their own problems) or without customer interaction.

The general public sucks to work with. I used to work at McDonald's before starting my PhD. So many people look down on you for working there, which is ridiculous as half the staff were university students! The worst were middle class middle aged women, I have to say!

Let her quit. Support her in finding a role that suits her skill set. Being miserable at work is not good for anyone!
There are plenty of jobs which are not customer facing.

Talk to her about what she wants to do, and the implications for leaving (no pay coming in) because this is the real world and there are consequences to all actions. But now is the time to do it - while you are there to support her and help her find a path which she can thrive in.

A classic snide and nasty Mumsnet response 🫥.

Don't worry OP not everyone believes you, as a mother, are entirely responsible for every part of your daughter's personality.

i think, having put up with crap at work,
to suggest she leaves is empowering for her.
she is young to be on customer service though

I don't think you'll get a definitive answer on here. I've done lots of retail and associated jobs. People can be twats. But it gave me great people management skills when I went into teaching.

Lots of my kids in school work in retail.i hear all about it! They have to deal with lots of arseholes, but the majority of them just shrug it off, as long as the money keeps coming.

Your poor daughter! Is she asking for help from her employers? Part of developing resilience and building the necessary skills to stand up for yourself is being able to ask for help. If she has done this, and still finds it hard, I’d support her decision to leave and find something more suitable for how she is right now. She’ll still have learned from the experience, but I think it’s important you support her and her valid choices.

Honestly I think it sounds like just a normal work environment. Of course it shouldn’t be like that, but most people these days are pretty rude to shop or leisure staff.

I’d encourage her to stay. In life, she’s going to come across this type of person all the time and she’s much better off learning to deal with it now.

The general public can be absolute dicks to people in a service role. I’d be reassuring (though I’m not sure that’s the right word..) her that their awful behaviour is not directed personally at her, rather these customers are showing their own lack of manners, and their general dehumanisation of people in this role.

I’d ask her not to let them affect the life experimience she’ll gain from doing ths, her cv benefits and earnings and to try to develop those coping strategies you mentioned.
ùi’d also encourage her to take this to her managers, they could be helping her with some more support, even if it is a charity xx

She’s 16, I would say quit and find another role. The general public can be rude to deal with and at 16 she doesn’t have the skills and life experience to deal with it

Up to her ultimately, but generally, in a nice way, she needs to toughen up. She’s going to meet even worse people in her lifetime and this role will teach her a lot generally.

People can be utter hateful dicks and having worked in customer facing roles since I was 16, I can honestly say people seem to be worse now and everyone I know who works in the same or similar industries who are over about 25 (and many under) agree.

Having done billions of shit jobs I think knowing when to give up on one is a brilliant skill to have. You could have a conversation with her about whether it definitely IS time to give up though.

Ah this could have been me! I would never say boo to a goose at that age and my parents always just let me quit everything, as such I quit absolutely everything when the going got tough and I'm now 33 and only grew out of it in my mid 20s! Sometimes you have to toughen up.

Giving up is a brilliant coping strategy though. I think being able to give up on things is a good skill.

I always let my kids give up on things if they wanted to and they've all turned out to be responsible and hard working adults. If they made a commitment to do something such as a sport then they would see out their commitment but after that I was happy for them to drop things. Funnily enough they all continue with sports/activities that that they did as kids.

I have done a lot of volunteer work over the years but I only do things I enjoy. I've been doing my last job one day a week for the last ten years and that's because I love doing it. It's in the charities interest that I enjoy what I do.

There will be something out there that the OPs daughter actually enjoys so it's much better that she finds what it is rather than doing something she doesn't like.

As much as I think she should quit if she hates it, and working with the public can be a nightmare (I had a shop job at 16 too) those sound like very minor incidents of the sort she is going to need to learn to cope with in order to function as a young adult. Would she be open to giving it another go? Maybe you can suggest some strategies or responses she could use and practice modelling assertiveness with CF customers with her?

As a general rule I am a proponent of encouraging people to stick things out and not quit too easily but it’s clearly never going to be a long term option for her. As long as she’s given it a reasonable chance.

I would be inclined to treat it as a cautionary tale along the lines of “if you don’t get good exam results you could be stuck in a job like this.”

Just off topic...surely she wouldn't be picking up a dropped syringe (if that was the medical instrument you were implying) ???

I also think that people are not at their best in a hospital/medical environment...usually stressed because they or someone they love are ill.

Maybe a different coffee shop would be preferable

I would not be encouraging her to quit or, even agreeing with it. Ultimately, it's her decision, but I would expect her to find a new job and I wouldn't be giving her money.

I think it's a real shame that your husband doesn't see the value in trying to teach your daughter resiliency. The real world will not handle your daughter with kid gloves, and she is going to have to learn to deal with unpleasant people no matter what she does.