Husband made lists about what I have done ‘wrong’

Fucking hell, is he gonna be pulling you in for your annual review. What a twat.
You know what you need to do OP. Do it as soon as you can.

Could he be recording stuff with separation/divorce in mind?

You won’t regret that decision!
His list won’t help him get any more assets. I don’t know the individual circumstances but most splits are 50/50 these days but can be altered to whoever has DC more or a lower income.

"‘went for a run, had to watch child2 while she went to have hair done’."

And who was supervising the child whilst he went for a run or does that not count because it's not 'inconvenient' to him to make him godforbid parent his own child!

Huge red flag, I'm sorry love but it sounds like your marriage is dead in the water and he's preparing to twist things to make it look like it's all your fault (obviously it's not in the slightest. The stuff you've listed is normal shared partner/parent stuff and anyone worth their salt would laugh in his face when he produces his list of reasons. It would massively give me the ick too.

If I were you I'd take it as your lead and withdraw from "looking after" him and start to prepare yourself and your finances and personal information and pull the rug out from under him. Bring up divorce and sharing childcare, making sure he realises he'd have to, shock horror, parent his children by himself! How ever will he manage a run if he has to play daddy? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Sounds like someone has advised him to list your failings in preparation for divorce!

Why else would you specifically record for keeps these things?

My ex did this. All the so called ‘incidents’ such as not cooking dinner had perfectly valid reasons such as him being 4 hours late home and the DC being in bed! 🙄 It won’t end well OP, where there’s that much contempt you need to get out.

I'm gobsmacked! Especially the one where he had to watch child 2 when you went for a run. Seriously, it's his child too!! 🤬

If he really loved you he would be encouraging you to go for a run, have your hair done, do his share of the parenting, housework and life admin and want the best for you.
Instead he is demeaning you and keeping score. That isn’t love and is a really bad example for your children and for them to grow up thinking this is what a healthy relationship looks like.
Why would you want to stay with someone like that?

I would like to hear from him why he resents you so much, because you'd only do this with a spouse who's driven you to insanity with their constant mocking, nitpicking etc.

If this doesn't apply, then please leave. Leave either way, because this level of petty, vindictive note keeping shows the relationship is contentious beyond normal.

I can't imagine the amount of bitterness it takes to spend so much time documenting every perceived fault in your spouse ☹️.

Just when you think you've heard it all on MN. He's awful. Have you thought about about leaving him? I wouldn't feel comfortable around him anymore.

Usually the one with fat fingers who mistyped and didn't realise you can change your vote.

This is how I read it too.

This behaviour is called gaslighting OP. If it wasn't important, he would never have gone to the effort of making a list. It is clearly super important to him.

Good to know he has time to make a list. Not much happening in his world?

My dh says you should tell your h to f off.

I rather like @katseyes7 suggestion- list 'on the fridge' - if you didn't have kids who would see it I would think it's a brilliant idea

I am not an LTB person. But honestly I think your marriage is dead in the water. If you can access the list again and forward to yourself, I would do this.

Don't know how old your kids are or whether you want to split up, but I would, from this point forward, stop doing stuff for him such as laundry or any if his life admin.

Both being full time working parents is like doing a job share. The family admin load is massive. Yes he’s been sneaky and snide and he sounds like an arsehole, but it sounds like neither of you have put in the time and effort to actually fairly divide up all the life admin. Why are you doing it all? Why haven’t you both listed and divided up the chores and mental load?

This is either the catalyst for a break up or the kick up the arse you both need to share everything fairly.

Fuck that shit. Ditch the cunt. I couldn’t live like that.

Sorry OP, your relationship is dead and it has been for quite some time.

Dear god that's appalling.

I agree with @Investinmyself
"At minute you are walking on eggshells and likely to neglect yourself as you are hardly likely to book in with dr/dentist/hair knowing he’s writing had to mind my own child for an hour in his phone."

Sorry you are going through this OP. Its so mean and resentful of him. And hard to cope with.

As a starting point, would it be worth getting him to face the fact that he wrote these things, by getting him to counselling, if nothing else it might reveal what his actual thinking is.

But as he'd rather you pretend that you never saw this list.. I doubt it will be easy to drag him along as he'll know he'd be in for a bit of stick from any reasonable councillor. Maybe it would help you to visit on your own.

If nothing else its made you see him in a whole new light, which must be hard to deal with.

So you do ALL the life admin work AND he makes a list about what he perceives you’ve done ‘wrong’ ?!!?!?

This is bad even by MN standards of bastard men.

I’m sending love and solidarity @IfIwasablackbird 💐