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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

These teachers and their questionable choices

383 replies

Whitesparkled123 · 27/08/2024 08:44

1 of these teachers is a mum at my DC school and she doesn't teach at the school. One of them is a teacher at my DC school and the other is a teacher at another school. They are all friends with each other. I'm trying to be vague as this could be outing.

I'm not really that close to them but know of their partying lifestyle. All 3 have children. They often go to raves, parties and do drugs. I found out last week that 1 of them held a party and couldn't find childcare so left their children in their home whilst partying at the bottom of their garden (which is quite far). They were all there and were all on drugs. The school mum host got people to take it in turns to watch the children. Often after they have been out and are on come downs they have their children.

I've just seen one of them has been to a well known event in London. Her whole family went including the children. She's posted pics and her youngest DC is asleep on the floor (it was held on the streets). I'm shocked. I just think why would you put your own needs above those of your children.
But what can I do? I can't actually prove any of this. Plus I'm not ok with them being teachers and coming into work on the Monday with a potential come down.

OP posts:
SiobhanSharpe · 27/08/2024 10:46

Pipecleanerrevival · 27/08/2024 08:53

I like my teachers square and patronising the way they were in my day.

*not sarcasm - yanbu

Presumably this was also when they smoked like chimneys and formed inappropriate relationships with sixth formers?

SmileEachDay · 27/08/2024 10:45

but when someone actually has witnessed teachers taking drugs recreationally when in charge of their own kids

I mean, she hadn’t in her OP.

PADDY17 · 27/08/2024 10:45

flapjackfairy · 27/08/2024 10:27

smoking weed is v different to taking cocaine .

100% agree. Cocaine is a different ball game. And users become addicted very quickly, especially the coke nowadays and I don't care what anyone says. I would not want a cocaine user teaching my child or even responsible for my child and OP you are right to be concerned.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 27/08/2024 10:43

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 27/08/2024 10:36

I taught outside London for a while and can tell you that there were far more drugs and alcohol in the East than in any of the London schools.

Also, not defending taking drugs, but it's clear OP has zero evidence so most likely it didnt happen and she's just pissed off teachers dare to have a life, so she is piling baseless accusations.

There was a thread a few years ago where a parentwanted to report a teacher for having a partner she was not married to. This sounds very similar to me. A made up thing because a teacher went to Carnival with family.

It’s just very interesting to me that there are people falling over each other to recommend reporting when the OP hears a child crying before bed but when someone actually has witnessed teachers taking drugs recreationally when in charge of their own kids, it’s fine. Why the double standards?

NowImNotDoingIt · 27/08/2024 10:43

@Zebedee999 , but not concerned enough to do something about it?

CrimsonShades · 27/08/2024 10:42

You don’t need to conduct your own investigation or obtain evidence to report something to social services or the police. That’s their job, not yours.

If you have seen it with your own eyes and can provide witness evidence as to when and where it happened and who was involved, THAT is your evidence. It’s not guaranteed that any investigation will follow but that isn’t your responsibility. All you need to do to discharge your moral duty if you are concerned about the safety and welfare of children is to report to the relevant authorities.

Zebedee999 · 27/08/2024 10:41

Hateam · 27/08/2024 08:55

I know this is a sexist and misogynistic word but some women really ARE bitchy towards other women.

Edited

Since when has been concerned for a child's welfare due to the parents drug taking in their presence been considered bitchy?
The OP is right to be concerned, the child's welfare should come first. Your moral compass that child welfare concerns are bitchy is completely askew.

Jellybeanbag · 27/08/2024 10:39

Op, you're getting a hard time IMO.

Parents in charge of children whilst under the influence of drugs is concerning. A rota of party guests checking on the children, concerning in itself. How do we know those people are trustworthy? Possibly also under the influence.

Teachers using drugs. Surely disciplinary action and I would be concerned if it was my child's teacher.

You are right to be concerned.

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 27/08/2024 10:37

SmileEachDay · 27/08/2024 10:36

Ohhh…you see? Now they’re off their head whilst actually teaching 😂

Yeah next thing we know these teachers are injecting heroin in front of the class. And OP is there to witness.

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 27/08/2024 10:36

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 27/08/2024 10:32

I wonder if this thread is actually proving that MN is indeed Londoncentric? The acceptance of drug taking within professional careers is interesting.

I taught outside London for a while and can tell you that there were far more drugs and alcohol in the East than in any of the London schools.

Also, not defending taking drugs, but it's clear OP has zero evidence so most likely it didnt happen and she's just pissed off teachers dare to have a life, so she is piling baseless accusations.

There was a thread a few years ago where a parentwanted to report a teacher for having a partner she was not married to. This sounds very similar to me. A made up thing because a teacher went to Carnival with family.

SmileEachDay · 27/08/2024 10:36

flapjackfairy · 27/08/2024 10:29

did you take class A drugs and think.that was totally fine though? Would you be happy to have your kids taught by and in the care of someone potentially off their head on drugs?

Ohhh…you see? Now they’re off their head whilst actually teaching 😂

Frogmarch89 · 27/08/2024 10:34

Get a life love

VickyEadieofThigh · 27/08/2024 10:33

A teacher arrested, charged and found guilty of drug possession will almost certainly be hauled up before the Teacher Regulation Agency and given a ban - depending on details, possibly a life ban. I know because when I was a headteacher, this happened to one of my staff, who first of all resigned before they could be dismissed.

Crucially, however, the police need actual evidence (the teacher I referenced was caught by police doing class A drugs) and are unlikely to proceed based on "I know for a fact..."

Similarly, a report to the head/governors might well be investigated, but an interview with such a teacher (which is all the investigation can be) is likely to elicit "No, I did not" answers.

Call social services and/or police, OP - but you need chapter and verse on when, where and what.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 27/08/2024 10:32

I wonder if this thread is actually proving that MN is indeed Londoncentric? The acceptance of drug taking within professional careers is interesting.

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 27/08/2024 10:32

Was that the rave they went to?

flapjackfairy · 27/08/2024 10:32

Sago1 · 27/08/2024 09:49

I worked in a school where drugs were rife among pupils and staff.
The cover supervisor and her husband had a grow.
The PE teacher was a massive weed smoker and there was a TA who stank of weed some mornings.

but we're they off their heads on Coke ?

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 27/08/2024 10:31

PADDY17 · 27/08/2024 10:16

If they worked in an office, they are not responsible for children the next day after a night out on the coke.. They also have to teach the future generation whilst being on a come down? Come on now?

Shit, the weight of the fate of the whole of the future generation lying on the shoulders of those 2 or three teachers is pretty heavy.
I guess we're screwed. Time to die.

flapjackfairy · 27/08/2024 10:29

thefamous5 · 27/08/2024 10:26

I used to be a teacher.

I also used to smoke a bit of weed occasionally on a weekend and shock horror, get absolutely wasted on booze.

I wasn't just a teacher. I was a human being too. It had no impact whatsoever on my job.

If you're worried about their children, report it. But their job has absolutely nothing to do with it.

did you take class A drugs and think.that was totally fine though? Would you be happy to have your kids taught by and in the care of someone potentially off their head on drugs?

flapjackfairy · 27/08/2024 10:27

LakieLady · 27/08/2024 09:27

This!

A friend of mine was deputy head of a large primary school in a very deprived area. Despite her smoking weed and drinking shedloads most weekends, that school went from "requires improvement" to "outstanding" during the time she was in post. It didn't affect her work at all.

smoking weed is v different to taking cocaine .

Jesss21 · 27/08/2024 10:27

God OP, get a life and stop being such a petty small town gossip. And just like any other job, teachers have a life outside of school - they are not there to please you and be dictated to by parents.

SerafinasGoose · 27/08/2024 10:27

I'd be on drugs too if I had to deal with parents like this.

thefamous5 · 27/08/2024 10:26

I used to be a teacher.

I also used to smoke a bit of weed occasionally on a weekend and shock horror, get absolutely wasted on booze.

I wasn't just a teacher. I was a human being too. It had no impact whatsoever on my job.

If you're worried about their children, report it. But their job has absolutely nothing to do with it.

SmileEachDay · 27/08/2024 10:26

What drugs were the teachers taking?

so far, it’s escalated to Class A drugs regularly .

By this evening I’d imagine they’ll be injecting heroine into their eyeballs during carpet time.

parkrun500club · 27/08/2024 10:25

Shinyandnew1 · 27/08/2024 08:51

They often go to raves, parties and do drugs

Do you have evidence this is true?

Even if they did, how does this affect their teaching? Unless you're in Scotland, it's the school holidays.

Growlybear83 · 27/08/2024 10:24

What drugs were the teachers taking? There is quite a difference between smoking a bit of dope and injecting heroin.