Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

These teachers and their questionable choices

383 replies

Whitesparkled123 · 27/08/2024 08:44

1 of these teachers is a mum at my DC school and she doesn't teach at the school. One of them is a teacher at my DC school and the other is a teacher at another school. They are all friends with each other. I'm trying to be vague as this could be outing.

I'm not really that close to them but know of their partying lifestyle. All 3 have children. They often go to raves, parties and do drugs. I found out last week that 1 of them held a party and couldn't find childcare so left their children in their home whilst partying at the bottom of their garden (which is quite far). They were all there and were all on drugs. The school mum host got people to take it in turns to watch the children. Often after they have been out and are on come downs they have their children.

I've just seen one of them has been to a well known event in London. Her whole family went including the children. She's posted pics and her youngest DC is asleep on the floor (it was held on the streets). I'm shocked. I just think why would you put your own needs above those of your children.
But what can I do? I can't actually prove any of this. Plus I'm not ok with them being teachers and coming into work on the Monday with a potential come down.

OP posts:
PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 27/08/2024 09:10

You have options:

if you think their children are at serious risk of harm, call social services. You can also make a safeguarding referral to the school.
if you believe they are driving their cars under the influence of drugs, call the police
if you think they are teaching whilst under the influence of drugs, call the school and ask to speak to the DSL.

If you don’t really think any of these things, you just don’t like it, stay away and get new friends.

IamnotSethRogan · 27/08/2024 09:10

A rota to mind children when you're in your own garden sounds over the top responsible! I don't know anyone who would do that.

Do you think the children are in actual danger and they're teaching to a low standard? Everything else is irrelevant.

PurpleChrayn · 27/08/2024 09:09

SapphOhNo · 27/08/2024 09:07

Get in the bin OP it's ok to have concerns from a child safety perspective but teacher's are people and have fun. Spoiler alert a lot of your non-teacher friends don't make great choices either.

Get in the bin? Are you 12?

Whitesparkled123 · 27/08/2024 09:09

THisbackwithavengeance · 27/08/2024 09:06

I always find it quite strange that on MN if you give your kid sugar or any drink other than water or your kid is overweight then posters start frothing at the mouth and calling social services.

And yet drug taking even around kids is seen as perfectly ok and even encouraged as "winding down".

Some very defensive replies on here.

I know I'm actually quite shocked at the responses telling me to mind my business and I'm a gossip. When I've repeatedly said it's not gossip, I've witnessed it and heard it.
I can't believe so many people think it's ok to take drugs around children or still high whilst looking after kids.

If it was Kelly on the council estate I bet the responses would be different.

OP posts:
PurpleChrayn · 27/08/2024 09:09

I'm pretty sure that every single one of the cool mums saying this is fine would absolutely lose their shit if these women were teaching their children!

Hoppinggreen · 27/08/2024 09:09

Their jobs are irrelevant
If you have firm evidence of their children being at risk then report it but be VERY sure before you risk someones career because you don't approve of their lifestyle

ThePrologue · 27/08/2024 09:08

SmileEachDay · 27/08/2024 08:58

I like my teachers square and patronising the way they were in my day.

My teachers used to smoke in the staffroom and go to the pub for a pint on a Friday lunchtime 😂😂

As Madness sang:
' in the staff-room passing round the ready-rubbed...'

SapphOhNo · 27/08/2024 09:07

Get in the bin OP it's ok to have concerns from a child safety perspective but teacher's are people and have fun. Spoiler alert a lot of your non-teacher friends don't make great choices either.

AlwaysSometimesRarelyNever · 27/08/2024 09:07

I think you are getting a hard time because you used the word 'teachers'. FOR some mumsnetters, teachers are above critism.

YANBU unreasonable to worry about parents doing drugs whilst being responsible for children, assuming that their Dad wasn't home and sober and looking after them.

ThePrologue · 27/08/2024 09:07

Whitesparkled123 · 27/08/2024 08:54

Yes. People saying its gossip. Its not, I do know for a fact

If you have evidence or can prove that it is true (although you said you couldn't in your first post), then do something about it with the people who can do something about it, rather than asking we bunch of reprobates here (OK, not all MNs are reprobates...!!)

Ljcrow · 27/08/2024 09:07

They need to be way more careful if they're teachers doing this. If they're being blatant they shouldn't be surprised if they lose their jobs at some point over it. I don't think you're being unreasonable to be concerned.

Whitesparkled123 · 27/08/2024 09:07

TinyYellow · 27/08/2024 09:05

I can understand why you think this is shocking if it’s a part of life you’ve never experienced but there are competent professionals all over the country doing things like this all the time. Unless it affects their ability to do their job and you have evidence that there has been a negative effect, mind your own business.

Yes I know I'm not naive but do they have responsibility over children?

OP posts:
THisbackwithavengeance · 27/08/2024 09:06

I always find it quite strange that on MN if you give your kid sugar or any drink other than water or your kid is overweight then posters start frothing at the mouth and calling social services.

And yet drug taking even around kids is seen as perfectly ok and even encouraged as "winding down".

Some very defensive replies on here.

eggandchip · 27/08/2024 09:05

Whitesparkled123 · 27/08/2024 09:03

Sigh for the millionth time it's not hearsay or gossip. I seen it myself. I was shocked when I saw it. One of them openly talks about it which I have heard first hand.

Then stay away from them make other friends even to teachers have a wild side.

TinyYellow · 27/08/2024 09:05

I can understand why you think this is shocking if it’s a part of life you’ve never experienced but there are competent professionals all over the country doing things like this all the time. Unless it affects their ability to do their job and you have evidence that there has been a negative effect, mind your own business.

SmileEachDay · 27/08/2024 09:05

Melania90 · 27/08/2024 09:02

Oh sweet summer child, if only you knew how many teachers do drugs, or are alcoholics. And frankly I see why. Awful brats and their awful parents will do that to you.

Also : doctors, lawyers, retail staff, pilots, cleaners, accountants…

ThePrologue · 27/08/2024 09:04

DebateWithMoi · 27/08/2024 08:52

I actually agree with you Op, drugs aren't a glass of wine they can seriously harm someone's brain & no they shouldn't be teaching whilst on a come down.

If that's your attitude, please don't wonder about the social and partying habits of doctors and nurses...
Or police people
Or ambulance workers
Or fire people

StolenChanel · 27/08/2024 09:04

eggandchip · 27/08/2024 09:02

Im not keen on teachers never have been.
But you are being nosey leave people alone ear say and gossip gets you nowhere.

Eh? Is this a “thing”? Teachers are individuals, not a monolith. Or do you mean in an institutional way? Because that would really have nothing to do with OP’s point.

Singleandproud · 27/08/2024 09:04

If their children are being put in danger you contact NSPCC

The fact that they are teachers is relevant as there is a code of conduct and significant misconduct outside of education would be classed as unacceptable professional conduct and could result in a teacher losing their job. Things like a speeding ticket are generally fine depending on the speed but driving under the influence etc could lead to a dismissal. But you would need proof that this has happened and not just heresy.

Whitesparkled123 · 27/08/2024 09:04

MrsMurphyIWish · 27/08/2024 09:01

When I first started teaching there was a smoking and non smoking staffroom and we used to go over the road for a couple of pints at lunch (when lunch time was an hour and not 35 minutes) - I am that old!

Why “teachers” in the title OP? Why not women/mothers? I am not in agreement with the drug taking but why is the teaching aspect relevant?

Because you have the teaching standards to uphold. They teach children and they are mothers. Both are relevant

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 27/08/2024 09:04

@Whitesparkled123 how do you know what happened at the party last week? You declined the invitation but know a lot about what they were doing and the childcare situation.

You didn't see that with your own eyes so I assume that was through gossip?

SmileEachDay · 27/08/2024 09:03

MrsMurphyIWish · 27/08/2024 09:01

When I first started teaching there was a smoking and non smoking staffroom and we used to go over the road for a couple of pints at lunch (when lunch time was an hour and not 35 minutes) - I am that old!

Why “teachers” in the title OP? Why not women/mothers? I am not in agreement with the drug taking but why is the teaching aspect relevant?

Ha. My dad was a DH and did this. He taught resistant material so had to use bandsaws and things in lesson.

No one lost a finger though, fortunately 😳

Whitesparkled123 · 27/08/2024 09:03

eggandchip · 27/08/2024 09:02

Im not keen on teachers never have been.
But you are being nosey leave people alone ear say and gossip gets you nowhere.

Sigh for the millionth time it's not hearsay or gossip. I seen it myself. I was shocked when I saw it. One of them openly talks about it which I have heard first hand.

OP posts:
ThePrologue · 27/08/2024 09:03

NerrSnerr · 27/08/2024 08:50

How did you find out about the party? I'm assuming gossip? I wouldn't believe everything you hear. Hard to judge about the well known event in London. My youngest used to fall asleep anywhere- we'd often take a pic and then move him somewhere more comfortable.

As an adult, I used to fall asleep at parties and events - was well-known for it!
happy on the floor, a chair, the bath...

ThePrologue · 27/08/2024 09:02

Whitesparkled123 · 27/08/2024 08:44

1 of these teachers is a mum at my DC school and she doesn't teach at the school. One of them is a teacher at my DC school and the other is a teacher at another school. They are all friends with each other. I'm trying to be vague as this could be outing.

I'm not really that close to them but know of their partying lifestyle. All 3 have children. They often go to raves, parties and do drugs. I found out last week that 1 of them held a party and couldn't find childcare so left their children in their home whilst partying at the bottom of their garden (which is quite far). They were all there and were all on drugs. The school mum host got people to take it in turns to watch the children. Often after they have been out and are on come downs they have their children.

I've just seen one of them has been to a well known event in London. Her whole family went including the children. She's posted pics and her youngest DC is asleep on the floor (it was held on the streets). I'm shocked. I just think why would you put your own needs above those of your children.
But what can I do? I can't actually prove any of this. Plus I'm not ok with them being teachers and coming into work on the Monday with a potential come down.

Well given that on holiday people leave their kids in rooms and go to eat elsewhere, their checking rota seems quite normal.
No proof - no leg to stand on

Swipe left for the next trending thread