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AIBU?

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These teachers and their questionable choices

383 replies

Whitesparkled123 · 27/08/2024 08:44

1 of these teachers is a mum at my DC school and she doesn't teach at the school. One of them is a teacher at my DC school and the other is a teacher at another school. They are all friends with each other. I'm trying to be vague as this could be outing.

I'm not really that close to them but know of their partying lifestyle. All 3 have children. They often go to raves, parties and do drugs. I found out last week that 1 of them held a party and couldn't find childcare so left their children in their home whilst partying at the bottom of their garden (which is quite far). They were all there and were all on drugs. The school mum host got people to take it in turns to watch the children. Often after they have been out and are on come downs they have their children.

I've just seen one of them has been to a well known event in London. Her whole family went including the children. She's posted pics and her youngest DC is asleep on the floor (it was held on the streets). I'm shocked. I just think why would you put your own needs above those of your children.
But what can I do? I can't actually prove any of this. Plus I'm not ok with them being teachers and coming into work on the Monday with a potential come down.

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 27/08/2024 09:30

Either report it or don't.

But if you aren't going to report it, don't go around saying how terrible they are as mothers, because you are complicit because you have not reported.

Report to the police. They will have drugs in the house. They don't magically appear at the actual party. And of course you know about these gatherings when they are taking drugs and putting their kids at risk too...

Report to social services that you have concerns. A visit may be enough to make them panic and reconsider their actions.

Others you are responsible for continuing to put these children at risk.

If, of course, you are even telling the truth in the first place.

Fluufer · 27/08/2024 09:29

If you were actually concerned you would have reported it already. You don't need evidence.
I suspect you're actually just judgey and jealous.

llamajohn · 27/08/2024 09:29

Hufflemuff · 27/08/2024 09:27

You are getting a lot of hate here, I'm quite surprised! Go with your gut. Forget the fact that they are teachers, judge the safety of their children in their care.

If you are that concerned about them as mothers, then raise an anonymous tip to social services... I was told once that if its just 1 persons complaint, they will log it but won't act, but if they have 2 separate complaints then they investigate and do a call or a home visit - depending on level of concern. SS will be able to judge whether this is quite normal (it may not be you or I's normal, but for others it is) or something to investigate.

Then the school will be notified accordingly. I wouldn't start saying anything to their place of work, that is really really unfair!

She's getting hate because she's complaining about how bad the people are, how they're endangering their own children and others ... but finding weak/crap excuses about how she can't possibly call social services

cansu · 27/08/2024 09:28

Even if you are right and they are off their face every weekend they are not a risk to your or other peoples children. I highly doubt that they are turning up to work drunk or on drugs. If they are then of course they should be dismissed. It sounds more like a kind of righteous indignation than anything else and a bit of glee at them being in trouble due to their job.

If their kids are genuinely in danger and I don't mean asleep in the house being watched by others or they are intoxicated at work, yes you should report them either to social services. However I would imagine that if you follow enough doctors, dentists, soc workers, politicians etc you will find some who have lifestyles you disapprove of.

Hoppinggreen · 27/08/2024 09:28

Whitesparkled123 · 27/08/2024 09:17

Because like I said how can I prove it? I've seen it but that's not going to hold up with social services or the police. They need evidence. Otherwise they will just say I'm making it up

So what advice do you think anyone can give you?
You have no evidence so you can't report it.
What do you expect MNetters to do? We can agree that its not ideal behaviour (well some of us can) but unless you can prove what you say nobody in authority will take it seriously as you could be anyone making any old shit up because Mrs Bloggs told your little Jimmy off

NowImNotDoingIt · 27/08/2024 09:28

Them being teachers is irrelevant .

If you're worried about their drug use or the welfare of their children , you should report it regardless if they're teachers or Jane down the road on the dole.

llamajohn · 27/08/2024 09:27

OP: OMG my kids teachers are doing drugs and going to raves, I've seen it, I KNOW it's true. I've seen photos and all sorts. Their kids are neglected too...
MN: so ring social services
OP: oh ermmm errr ermmm well I can't do that because I have no evidence... So i errr can't do that. Nope ...

Frowningprovidence · 27/08/2024 09:27

You definitely don't need evidence to speak to the NSPCC for advice. You will get much better advice there than from mumsnet.

However, I am concerned about the idea that taking class a drugs isn't a concern for teachers as they have their own life. Teachers have a massive role in safeguarding. Term is about to start. I will get another hour or so on county lines, how to spot children involved and how to safeguard them. I know everyone on munsnet sources their drugs entirely crime free somehow but that doesn't seem realistic...even if they buy them from nice Mr so and so - where did they come from before that.

IsoldeWagner · 27/08/2024 09:27

ThatsNotMyNumber · 27/08/2024 09:26

OP it’s not your job to find evidence, if you’re concerned then report it, then leave SS to do their job. Otherwise you are just gossiping.

This.

Hufflemuff · 27/08/2024 09:27

You are getting a lot of hate here, I'm quite surprised! Go with your gut. Forget the fact that they are teachers, judge the safety of their children in their care.

If you are that concerned about them as mothers, then raise an anonymous tip to social services... I was told once that if its just 1 persons complaint, they will log it but won't act, but if they have 2 separate complaints then they investigate and do a call or a home visit - depending on level of concern. SS will be able to judge whether this is quite normal (it may not be you or I's normal, but for others it is) or something to investigate.

Then the school will be notified accordingly. I wouldn't start saying anything to their place of work, that is really really unfair!

Bloatedbelly · 27/08/2024 09:27

It’s a bank holiday and the school summer holidays so there was no ‘teaching with a comedown on Monday’….

that being said a child sleeping on the floor of nottinghill carnival doesn’t sound good. On the grass away from the main bit? Or actually on the road?

LakieLady · 27/08/2024 09:27

Melania90 · 27/08/2024 09:02

Oh sweet summer child, if only you knew how many teachers do drugs, or are alcoholics. And frankly I see why. Awful brats and their awful parents will do that to you.

This!

A friend of mine was deputy head of a large primary school in a very deprived area. Despite her smoking weed and drinking shedloads most weekends, that school went from "requires improvement" to "outstanding" during the time she was in post. It didn't affect her work at all.

ThatsNotMyNumber · 27/08/2024 09:26

OP it’s not your job to find evidence, if you’re concerned then report it, then leave SS to do their job. Otherwise you are just gossiping.

C8H10N4O2 · 27/08/2024 09:26

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 27/08/2024 09:24

I suppose because I dont believe OP that they are taking drugs to begin with. She either is taking drugs with them every time to know the details, or it never happened to begin with.

This. Its going to make a great report "I was at a drug addled rave and I want to tell you about three women at the drug addled rave".

The OP apparently thinks taking the family to Notting Hill Carnival is some kind of crime/child abuse so I'd question their judgement in general.

SadieDadie · 27/08/2024 09:26

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 27/08/2024 09:24

I suppose because I dont believe OP that they are taking drugs to begin with. She either is taking drugs with them every time to know the details, or it never happened to begin with.

Why? Surely you've just got to tale the details from the post as facts like every thread on here, otherwise all you'd be doing is going around making assumptions and your own versions of every post.

IsoldeWagner · 27/08/2024 09:26

Theleaveswillbefalling · 27/08/2024 08:54

Being a teacher here is irrelevant. If you think their children are at risk of harm then contact SS. If not then stop gossiping.

This. It's nothing to do with them being teachers, unless you want to get a bit of teacher bashing in as well.

llamajohn · 27/08/2024 09:25

Whitesparkled123 · 27/08/2024 09:13

Yes but how can I then prove that? Without physical evidence?

But you know it's facts and true you've seen it with your own eyes....

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 27/08/2024 09:24

SadieDadie · 27/08/2024 09:23

It's funny because whenever a woman posts on here that her DH has been out and taking cocaine literally every single comment is LTB and that poeole wouldnt tolerate any drug taking. Absolutely no one is ever in favour of the DH. And now look at these comments because it's 3 women taking coke....MN double standards at its finest!!

But OP, I'd personally just keep out of it and leave them to it. People everywhere are on coke, probably way more people than you realise.

I suppose because I dont believe OP that they are taking drugs to begin with. She either is taking drugs with them every time to know the details, or it never happened to begin with.

Wimberry · 27/08/2024 09:24

Whilst I don't agree with drug taking, if it's not harming the children or affecting their teaching, and it's not blatant/public, what's the issue?
Yes teachers need to be role models to the children, but they're doing this in private.

It isn't ideal but it isn't for you to insist that teachers live some sort of trad wife lifestyle either. The recruitment crisis in schools is already a real problem, where do you think schools will find these puritan teaching staff that you want?

SadieDadie · 27/08/2024 09:23

It's funny because whenever a woman posts on here that her DH has been out and taking cocaine literally every single comment is LTB and that poeole wouldnt tolerate any drug taking. Absolutely no one is ever in favour of the DH. And now look at these comments because it's 3 women taking coke....MN double standards at its finest!!

But OP, I'd personally just keep out of it and leave them to it. People everywhere are on coke, probably way more people than you realise.

Waitingfordoggo · 27/08/2024 09:22

DebateWithMoi · 27/08/2024 08:52

I actually agree with you Op, drugs aren't a glass of wine they can seriously harm someone's brain & no they shouldn't be teaching whilst on a come down.

How is teaching on a comedown any worse than teaching with a hangover? I know a lot of teachers and many of them are pretty boozy. (I’m not judging or criticising btw, just an observation).

Dulra · 27/08/2024 09:22

Whitesparkled123 · 27/08/2024 09:17

Because like I said how can I prove it? I've seen it but that's not going to hold up with social services or the police. They need evidence. Otherwise they will just say I'm making it up

You don't have to provide evidence to report a child protection concern to social services, that's their job. You raise the concern based on what you know and it is their responsibility to look into it. That's all you need to do, if you have a genuine concern report it, you'll feel better knowing it is now the responsibility of the professionals to deal with.

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 27/08/2024 09:22

Maybe get that OP who was spying on takeaway workers not stealing local wildlife to eait it, she can get her dangerous dog and hide in the bushes and get some evidence of the teacher's partying.

Tahlbias · 27/08/2024 09:21

You can report to the governors anonymously 🤷

Tulipsareredvioletsarebue · 27/08/2024 09:20

POLICE POLICE blooming teachers trying to have fun and have a life how dare they, exist outside school gates, go get them and drive them back to the school. They must have jumped over the fence or something.

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