I have a little baby girl who is nearly 8 months old. During my pregnancy, my fiances Mum and her partner were travelling around the country caravanning but then moved back to our local area (30 mins away) so they could be on hand if we needed anything. They were amazing during pregnancy and did help us a lot. Towards the end I did have a little falling out with my mother in law because I felt she was being a little too much and even said she was worried I wasn't ready for a baby which really hurt. She didn't like my honesty and I feel like it hasn't been the same since.
Also, during pregnancy my MIL and her partner said they would be on hand to help look after my baby when I go back to work. They then left it for months and then decided to tell me they couldn't do it now because of their work commitments (they own their own business). It really left me in the lurch and I was upset at them for it. My fiances Mum then just said I needed to get myself together and was heavily gaslighting me.
Now to help out she gives me little things I can do to work at home for the last few weeks of maternity so I have a little extra money and she said she'd pay for my little girls nursery fees for the first term until her 15 hours come in and then we can pay her back.
However, throughout all of this I just have this feeling she just doesn't like me. She says she wants a relationship but never asks how we are doing, never asks how her son is and doesn't even ask about my little girl. She has helped out money wise, but she never really spends any quality time with us. Now I know relationships are made from the effort of both parties, and we have invited them to things or do things but they always say no. I didn't really think about it, but then my partner is feeling like his Mum is going cold on him and it's making him feel down.
Throughout childhood, she walked out on him and has been in and out of his life. We thought her being a grandmother would change things but it hasn't. And I grew up with a lot of family members never bothering with me, It didn't affect me, but I don't want the same for my little girl.
I don't know whether to say anything to them or just leave it. At the end of the day my baby girl has a loving Mum and Dad, and my side of the family see her so often, and they live AN HOUR AND HALF AWAY! A part of me wants to tell my fiances mother that my little girl won't be little for long and she's gonna miss out, but then I also think if she'd make the effort she would.
I'm just wondering if anyone else had the same experience or advice?