I'm a single parent of a 15 ds. I have brought ds up since we separated due to my ex's domestic violence against me when ds was a baby. Ex didn't want overnight contact until ds was 5; and then only every other weekend plus daytime contact in week.
I have pretty much brought ds up single handedly (financially, boundaries) . Ex has tried to sabotage relationship with ds throughout over the years (multiple social services referrals over the years). Tells son constantly I'm a bad mother (I had severe PND after birth and had to go to a mother and baby unit. Aggravated by the fact ex was punching me while breast feeding and telling me I was useless).
Social services have investigated dutifully every time; but it's the constant drip of poison in my son's ear that I'm useless, a bad mother, evil and mad.
It's complicated by the fact my son has autism. The type of autism he has (demand avoidance) manifested in extremely challenging behaviour when he was young and my son was excluded from mainstream education at 7 years old. He has massively improved since going to special school and now is coping with mainstream secondary and doing well academically and maintaining friendships.
Recently ex has escalated alienation. I have told my son and ex many times that they have every right to explore living together post GCSE'S; if they both agree I'm such a shit parent. Every time both immediately row back on this and say they don't want status quo to change.
Today I collected son after he has spent 4 weeks with his dad. He didn't want to come home, and has been pretty much closed off and silent with me so I've matched his energy and been polite but cool with him
Today I checked his phone. Don't do it v often but found his dad has called me a 'cunt', 'selfish fuck' and a 'shite parent' to our son for not making more of an effort. They are constantly in contact - like 100 whatsapp messages a day plus - yet when he stays with his dad, there is no contact the other way, even when I try to initiate