Did your parents hug you and tell you they loved you as a child?

I don’t ever remember being hugged or told that my parents loved me. But I knew it without a doubt (especially my mum who would have died for me, no question). I don’t like physical affection much and have had to train myself to be ok with it (hugs with friends etc) and I am very affectionate with my children and tell them I love them very much. But it hasn’t messed me up generally. Making somebody feel loved is about much more than a few words and cuddles. And you can cuddle somebody and destroy their self worth through your parenting.

No, in fact my mom and i often joke that we had our first hug after a play i was in when i was 14 because all the luvvies around us made her feel awkward that she wasnt hugging me lol
There are some families who dont show affection this way, i never felt unloved but certainly we've all learned to show it more as time has gone on

Yes both my parents always told us they loved us, hugged us and continue to do so now (I'm 44).

They're affectionate with each (both mid-70s) and always tell us and show us how much they cherish us and each other.

My boys are both affectionate, DS1 more so than DS2 in that he says "I love you" all the time, but both seek out hugs and affection and DH and I tell them that we love them all the time. They don't go to bed without a kiss and hug and us saying that we love them.

Not half as much as I am with my kids! My parents were/are great, they were supportive of me, encouraged me, said they were proud of me but we weren’t a very demonstrative physically family.
I remember my mum saying once, incredulously, when they had been in Italy “the young men would just go up and hug and kiss their mums, I saw one man put his head on his mums shoulder and she was stroking his hair while they talked “ and she meant it in an “OMG weird” way, whilst I thought “that sounds brilliant! I’ll do that with my kids”
Anyway, I now have an 11 and 14 YO and we have always been a very physically and vocally affectionate family. We say I love you casually, just fling it around. We hug all the time, ruffle hair, they’ll even happily succumb to a cheek squeeze now and then. I love it and hope it carries on forever!

Not they didn’t. I don’t remember receiving hugs or a love you from either of my parents. When I had my own children my mother pointed out that my children always said they loved me - I always tell my children I love them too, and then suddenly when we ended a call or said good bye from a visit my mum started saying she loved me, it felt very odd and I can’t stay it back to her. I feel it’s too little too late to be telling me now when I should have heard it growing up. My MIL on the other hand has always said she loves me when saying goodbye so I am able to say it to her.

Never. But I do it all the time with my kids. DH’s parents didn’t either and he struggles to show affection with our kids now they’re older. However he does give them a lot of time and interest (which his parents didn’t with him) so in his mind he’s showing love instead of saying it.

Yes frequently told me they loved me, were proud of me, cuddles, kisses and interested in my and my sister's lives. I also knew they loved each other very much (they still very much do in their late 80s).

I was born in the late 60s. Until I got together with Dh, I had no idea that this wasn't the norm for everyone.

Say it to my kids all the time. Dh doesn't because it wasn't a thing in his family but our children know he loves them.

It does not mess people up. I never hugged or kissed my parents and never really expected to (80's). They always had my back. I went to University in 1988 aged 18, first to go from a big family, and a pretty sorted kid, my Mum and Dad dropped me off. I was keen to get on with the new life and left without a second's thought. As they were about to pull away, my Dad got out of the car and gave me a tenner towards my books that I had to buy, gave me a quick hug and said "you know where we are if you need us". I only now realise now how much discipline that must have took him. We've moved on 40 years now and I have seen two of mine go to University, and two more going, and yes we hug, and I tell them the same thing, that I will always be there for them. My Mum and Dad are still about, now in their 80s and I give them a hug/kiss everytime I leave them, as do my kids. Whereas I realise that I was not endlessly showered with hugs and kisses in the '80s (would have found that weird anyway) they loved me, and they love my children. Sometimes you just know, Hope this helps xx

No, and I don't recall my friends' parents doing it either. 1960s-70s.
We're all much more huggy now.

No hugs and I love you from my DPs and I can't say I ever saw my friends parents doing it, however I never felt unloved or unwanted.
My DM in particular was a hugely practical person who gave care if needed (nurse) but in a very practical way rather than emotional.
I never felt close to DM as some mother and daughters seem to be.
I was much more affection with my DS and told him I loved him every day, hugs and kisses. He is in his 30 but when we speak on the phone we always finish it with love you.
My DPs were amazing grandparents to their 6 grandkids, much more relaxed than they ever were as parents.

I don't think it screwed me up, but it did point me in the I wanted to be a parent.

No. Never.

I didn't have a dad around, but my mother and grandmother who lived with us were affectionate and I was definitely felt loved. My mother had a difficult relationship with her father so I think she wanted to be a great mother to me. She was!

Not really 🥺

nope never.
Its not harmed me not messed me up.

Everyone blames their parents for everything.
It affects everyone how their parents were. I’ve chosen to not be like mine. Funnily they’ve turned into the best grandparents so I won’t dwell on it. I also know their childhood wasn’t easy.

Neither of my parents are huggy people and neither have ever said “I love you”. But me and my siblings are their total world and they would do anything for us - way above what other huggy lovie dovie parents I know would do. Endless favours, support, time spent with us, helping to look after their grandkids, giving up work when we needed mental health support…

No, we were never hugged or told we were loved. We were treated badly, sworn at every day, hit etc. If we showed any vulnerability we were mocked like it was some how embarrassing. I don't think either of my parents were capable of love, they're very messed up people.. I don't have any contact with them now.

My kids are teens and adults now but I still hug them and tell them I love them every day. I never wanted my children going through what I did. They're very affectionate kids. My partner was never hugged or told he was loved either although they weirdly they tried to start in later life. He's always given our children lots of hugs and tells them he loves them every day. I wouldn't be with someone who couldn't/wouldn't do that after my own childhood experience.

Omg these replies 😦. Hugging, kissing and being told we are loved was probably the only thing my mum found easy . She was a single parent and spent her entire childhood in care, so maybe a contributing factor.

My mum - only when she was drunk, and it made me cringe because it was so fake.
My dad was painfully reserved and would never have been able to say the words, and I never said it to him until he was on his deathbed. But I always knew that he loved me and I know that he knew I loved him. We just knew.

I was born in the 80s and my dad would regularly tell me he loved me and is very huggy. My mum less so although she shows love in her actions.

I've known families like yours though.

No, and I don't think it "messed me up", apart from it has perhaps made me not really liking hugging people.

Same as my mum, who is 84
Just wish she’d said it sooner

My mum was huggy and I absolutely knew she loved me although the words weren't use with free abandon, they were when I needed reassurance though. My dad never told me he loved me as a child, but I knew he did, he worked sixty hour weeks in a factory having left school at 14, and when they offered him a watch for having worked there for twenty years he turned it down in favour of something for me and my brother, a computer/pc to do our homework even though he couldn't use one he knew lots of other kids had them, he often told me he was proud of me, (and that whatever I did I needed to get an education) both my parents would run around after us with sports teams etc, we didn't have much money but we did have their time, lots of bike rides in the woods, picnics on the beach etc.

When I went to uni I got a bit more confident and also saw that other people were more vocal with their feelings, so when I went home I would always tell my mum and dad I loved them and hug them, it was a bit weird at first, and my dad would pat me on the back and say you too darling, I'd just started driving and without fail every time I got in the car he'd say to me have a safe journey and still does decades later. Both are more demonstrative now especially with the grandchildren.

I don't think it was anything about them not loving us, they both came from large families mum one of six , dad one of nine and df in particular a very strict Catholic family, family life was busy and hard work. There was never much to go around and no time for fripperies like emotions.

I used to try and hug my paternal gran when I was little and it felt like she would break she was so tiny and so clearly uncomfortable!

They showed us they loved us by putting us first above everything. I don't begrudge that, people communicate differently and times were different.

I don't recall my father ever having hugged me, when I was a child or an adult. My mother did - and became even more huggy as she got older.

I was insecure as a child and was convinced that my father didn't want me and would prefer me not to be there.
With hindsight, I know that he did care and did love me but was incapable of showing it or saying it.

Sadly, I never felt the same love for my father as I did for my mother. My mum was the love of my life and I never doubted, from the earliest age, that she loved me with all her heart and soul.

No not from my mother and my father only in front of other family members when he’d had a drink. Now I’m no with both.