Did your parents hug you and tell you they loved you as a child?

Only when I was very small . They seemed to stop as I got bigger.

Late 50s & wasn't told I was loved or hugged. I would stick like glue to DM & feel traumatised if she had to leave me for whatever reason. Parents divorced when I was very young and father wasn't in our lives. I was cared and provided for by DM, but no real affection given that I can recall.

It has affected me. I find it difficult to show affection.

45 here and hugs were few and far between. I know they loved me, I felt loved, we just didn’t hug. I find it hard, awkward, when I meet huggers. I hug my children loads and my DM started hugging my children but it never seems natural.

Born in 1990, absent dad but I can’t remember my Mum ever telling me she loved me, hugging or kissing me. She’s brought it up on various occasions as adults about how she showed her love in other ways, but she really didn’t.

I felt a lot of love from my grandparents though, despite only ever hearing “I love you” from them when they were dying.

I know someone who makes a great public show of affection for his children at every opportunity, tells them how much he loves them (much more than anyone else in their lives, according to the children), tells them how he’s so sad every moment they aren’t with him, yet can’t bring himself to clean them properly after they have used the toilet, or administer prescribed meds properly (or at all) or put appropriate clothing on them for the weather.

Its all show, all talk but no substance.

Love is doing what the other person needs not making an exhibition of oneself.

I don't specifically remember being told I love you but I'm pretty sure my parents did. I remember hugs & kisses so I think they probably did say it too. In particular after my parents' divorce my dad would write to me and the letters were very loving. My dad & I were very close.

I tell my dds every single day I love them so if they're asked the question anytime in the future there should be absolutely no doubt in their minds! A couple of my friends a similar age to me (50s) say they were not shown much affection or told they were loved as children. I can't imagine being like that with your own kids, but maybe it wasn't done so much back then?

Surely its normal to say 'I love you' and hug your kids?
(I mean not for me. My poor parents never got to experience that because I hated all that stuff from birth...Id even cry as a baby if you picked me up until I was put down again!LOL).

No mine didn’t and everyone I mention it to (friends etc) thinks that’s sad and weird. I do too. My mum says we were just meant to know 😵‍💫 wedding day, when my kids were born etc, an awkward hug but that’s it.

Hahahahahaha! No. Never. If my parents had said they loved me I'd have immediately assumed they'd just been diagnosed with something terminal. I can't actually imagine it, and I'm trying to right now. I just can't see it.

Dad did, I'm sure, although he preferred my brother. Mum can't, she's a mess because of her own childhood.

I remember going away with a friend in my teens and she had to phone home each night (1990s so no mobiles and we were a long way from home) and every call ended with "love you" and I thought it sounded just weird. Mawkish.

I tell my kids constantly.

Perhaps it has messed you up a little bit, though, if you now think it's 'gushing' to say 'I love you' to your own child.

There are other ways of showing affection and love.
Although hugs are physical and comforting.

None the less we are all different so love kindness and support can be shown in lots of ways.
However this is demonstrated it should not be made insignificant.

No. I hug dd and dh alot

"My mother (now early 80s) had a cancer diagnosis about 15 years ago and started ending her phone calls with “love you” but I don’t really reciprocate as it makes me cringe a bit. Is that weird??"

No. It's the way you were brought up so she can't complain.

No, never hugs and definitely never told they loved me and my siblings.

It's only looking back I can see how that must have affected me.

My DM was always hypercritical, hair, clothes, choices and I don't recall either parent ever saying they were proud of me. I know they were, because they told other people, but never said it directly to me

No. I'm a bit older than you. Telling people you love them wasn't much of a thing then, but comparing with friends I did find that a lot of them hugged their mums, but not their dads.

I grew up in the 80s. I don’t think parents were as affectionate then. I don’t recall seeing my friends’ parents showering them with praise and love and hugs in the way I see my peers do now with their children. I knew I was loved and cherished. We were a close family. We laughed a lot. I just don’t recall a lot of hugging. To say goodbye at the airport maybe… dropping off at uni… we often did a kiss goodnight when we were younger but it wouldn’t have been followed by “I love you” - I think we’d have giggled at that.

My mother (now early 80s) had a cancer diagnosis about 15 years ago and started ending her phone calls with “love you” but I don’t really reciprocate as it makes me cringe a bit. Is that weird??

Oddly, I do say it to my own children and give them a lot of hugs. 🤷‍♀️

I grew up 60s/70s. I knew my parents loved me but don't remember being hugged. We did do goodnight kisses though.

Hugging more generally ( with friends etc) seemed to become a thing in my late 20s (80s). I found it awkward at first but the habit grew on me. I'd hug someone now if they had exciting news, for example, or to say goodbye.

Definitely hugged / hug my kids and tell them I love them all the time. (But everyone "loves" everyone on social media- it's become an easy word to use!)

I was brought up in the 70's and while my parents never said they loved me, I knew that they did.

Lots of hugs and kisses though from both of them, and my sisters

As a parent I still hug and kiss my teen boys, it would be odd not to

My mum gave hugs, dad didn't really, but I felt loved. None of dad's family really do emotion, their own mum died when they were tween/teen and they were encouraged not to show emotion.

I hugged and kissed my DC when they were young but teen DD has disliked being touched, hugged or kissed since she was maybe 12. If she's upset or scared she might need a hug, but she doesn't like it as a general greeting or sign of affection. We do air hugs and sometimes I give her arm a rub (she doesn't really like that but it feels less intrusive than a hug) DS hugs me a lot as long as theres no one around
I tell them I'm proud of them, but I don't really say I love you....

My dad was demonstrative but my mum wasn’t. She was strict but a good mum, she has had my back in many ways. She still doesn’t like hugs / kisses.

Not sure if it’s because of that or my ND, but I always want to be hugged and touched.

Always, always kiss my parents and hug them goodbye and tell them I love them. Me and my mum shared "I love you's" on the day she died.

I have two very affectionate children and one who is less tactile but we are a kissy / cuddly family. I make sure I tell the kids not only that I love them but that I value them and I am proud of them and I think they are fantastic humans, on a regular basis (in-between nagging them and 'telling them off' of course!)

But they were fucked up in their turn, by fools in old-style hats and coats…

I think it’s important to break the cycle. Neither my husband nor I had affectionate parents. We have been the most demonstrative and affectionate parents we can possibly be. Our kids are young adults (men) now and tell me and their dad they love us every single time we see them or speak to them. They write beautiful messages in cards to us both saying how much we’re loved and valued. I think we’ve done well in this regard.

I am your age, and my parents showed no physical love or said anything remotely mushy.

Today mid 80's and still in good health my parents are still the same.

I think it has effected me and messed me up slightly if I am honest. I struggle slightly with my 6 year old, because physical affection feels so unnatural to me. My parents are the type that as long as your fed and clothed and have a bit of money then all is good. Their own parents were very much the same though.

Perfunctory kisses only. My parents didn’t ever say ‘I love you’ to their children, nor each other.

it was quite funny to see them with my children who we brought up with masses of affection. They’d fling their arms around my parents’ necks and say ‘I love you!’ every time they saw them, so my parents had no option but to reciprocate. although it was quite uncharted territory for my parents, I think they really liked it. Quite sweet really.

I don’t remember it at all from my dad, and not really from my mum, though she says we hugged and said I love you when I was young. I can’t imagine hugging her now, but we know we love each other anyway.

My daughter is 12 and still very cuddly, it’s a bit much at times when I’m just trying to read a book or whatever, but I try not to say “not right now” where I can.