I really need to know, from parents who have a 13 year old boy, or from parents who have older boys so can speak from experience....
Is it normal to have no close bonds with friends as a 13 year old boy?
I'm so worried about my DS.
He was dumped by his lifelong best friend last year, who he was so close to throughout his life that he considered him to be almost like a brother. His (ex) friend has well and truly hurt him by being horrendous towards him, lying about him, treating him appallingly and then dumping him. I don't know if DS will get over the hurt this friend caused him. DS was a loyal and lovely friend to this boy for 10 years, spending so much time out of school together. Does anyone have any experience of this? Even I'm struggling with it. His friend appears to have had a complete personality transplant - for the worse!!
A year on, he's got mates. But they're just mates. They're OK. They hang out with him. But none of them are true friends. They're all flaky. Two of them arranged to meet DS today, he showed up and they weren't there, he called them to ask if they were coming and they said "Maybe" so DS kept waiting and then they didn't show up. DS did a really good job of putting on a brave face, but I could see by his expression that he was upset about being blown out. We changed family plans for him to be able to meet up with them today because were trying to be supportive. There's a few mates he's got, but none of them are solid friends. He hasn't heard from anyone all summer hols. It's really hard because they're all at an age now where mums don't do the organising of getting the kids together, so I can't organise anything. I have tried, and mums have replied "Sam makes his own plans now". DS has called and texted mates over these hols and had no replies. They hang out with him at school and sometimes outside of school. But they're watery IMO. Sometimes they stick to plans to meet up but sometimes they don't and they let him down. Is this normal?
DS if flailing. He says he feels lost.
He's just finished year 7 and hasn't made one single new friend. He was telling me that he started year 7 feeling really hopeful that he'd meet new people and make new friends, but he hasn't made even one new friend.
He's such a nice kid. Fun. Humorous. Really enjoys life. Socially skilled. Emotionally intelligent. Kind. Calm. Great to be in the company of.
I can sense it's getting him down, and I don't know what to do to help him.
He's not in to football, and this seems to be a bit of a sticking point at school lunch breaks.
Basically, is it normal to be 13 and to not have any really close friendship bonds with 1 or 2 significant friends? Is it normal to just have mates, and to hang out with them but to not be particularly close to any of them? And is it normal for those mates to be a bit all over the place, sometimes being reliable and sticking to plans to meet up but sometimes being completely unreliable and flaky? DS finds it tricky to deal with their inconsistentsy, because he's the type of person who if he says yes to something and makes a plan with someone then he sticks to it. But is it normal for other boys this age to be more unreliable? Or not?!
DS has been telling me over the hols that he really wants some closer friendships. He said "I don't have a best friend anymore and I really miss that".
I don't know if I'm right to be worried, or if I'm over thinking it.
He's my eldest so I have no experience of this age group.
I'd love some advice!