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AIBU?

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Original poster

SIL wants holiday updates

106 replies

Beachdays86 · 26/08/2024 20:45

We are currently away for 2 weeks with DD and enjoying some much needed quality family time together. DH has put a few photos on his family WhatsApp chat, but SIL is messaging every day asking for more photos and holiday updates. I have a strained relationship with her anyway after she has caused problems between myself and DH. I don’t go out of my way to contact her, but I’m getting fed up of the constant requests for holiday updates. She needs to know everything that’s going on and I have stopped her having access to me after she said a number of things to DD about me. AIBU to tell her to fuck off?!

OP posts:
LakieLady · 27/08/2024 08:55

Beachdays86 · 26/08/2024 20:54

No drama. I just don’t want her having access to us all of the time. DH and I nearly divorced over her. DH told me she’s literally begging for updates and after the shit she’s caused, she has no right to ask for anything even if it a few holiday snaps.

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SIL needs to get a life and stop being so over-invested in yours.

Makes me long for the days when the only effort expected when you were on holiday was a postcard, which often didn't arrive until after you'd got back.

CurlewKate · 27/08/2024 08:50

She's your dp's sister-he can send the updates!

Testina · 27/08/2024 08:48

Beachdays86 · 27/08/2024 08:30

Too invested. Has dripped poisonous words into DDs ears about me and caused a great deal of upset.

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But what has she said?
And if you’ve blocked the chat, why is your husband winding you up by making you aware of it?

Testina · 27/08/2024 08:47

Your problem is your husband, both now and over “nearly divorcing”.

Original poster
Beachdays86 · 27/08/2024 08:30

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 26/08/2024 21:12

How rude to tell her to F off

I would love if my child had an auntie who was really invested in him and wanted updates. If you don't get on with her let your DH be the one to send the updates that's what my brother would do.

Too invested. Has dripped poisonous words into DDs ears about me and caused a great deal of upset.

OP posts:
DoIWantTo · 27/08/2024 08:29

So your SIL is messaging her brother but you want her not to?

pinkfleece · 27/08/2024 08:09

Beachdays86 · 26/08/2024 20:51

His family chat that I’ve muted and archived!

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So how do you know about the messages?

Kitkat1523 · 27/08/2024 08:08

You are making dramas for nothing…..block the WhatsApp …tell your DP not to mention her and he can send photos if he wishes…..if he carries on then your have a DP problem not a SIL problem

DoreenonTill8 · 27/08/2024 07:52

Flipsock · 27/08/2024 07:16

What happened that led to you nearly divorcing your H over his sister?

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This, all ops said is d I have stopped her having access to me after she said a number of things to DD about me. could have been anything?

Trebol · 27/08/2024 07:45

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the poster's request

WickedSerious · 27/08/2024 07:39

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 26/08/2024 21:12

Have some fun with it, put up a series of very boring photos. Your dinner plate, these are the shoes I've chosen for today, our duvet is this pattern, a tree etc, do not include any people in them or anything remotely interesting.

A crushed Coke can,an overflowing ashtray,a selection of door handles;the possibilities are endless.

MintyNew · 27/08/2024 07:32

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 26/08/2024 21:12

How rude to tell her to F off

I would love if my child had an auntie who was really invested in him and wanted updates. If you don't get on with her let your DH be the one to send the updates that's what my brother would do.

I always wonder if posters like you actually read to comprehend or read to talk. Did you not read that op said she nearly divorced over this woman, she says bad stuff to dd about her mom, yet this is what you contribute to the thread?

7yo7yo · 27/08/2024 07:27

Tell him not to send any pics of you.
I would not be impressed by this level of harassment by someone who almost wrecked my marriage.
shes “virtually” intruding. Your DH sounds like he’s saying oh look she still wants to be involved in our lives.
how much do the wider family understand about the situation? Maybe it’s time to say “after what you did you do not deserve any access to us or our lives. We will communicate with you as we are wish not on your demands.” Then tell your DH to do what he wants but not to send pics of you.

Flipsock · 27/08/2024 07:16

Beachdays86 · 26/08/2024 20:54

No drama. I just don’t want her having access to us all of the time. DH and I nearly divorced over her. DH told me she’s literally begging for updates and after the shit she’s caused, she has no right to ask for anything even if it a few holiday snaps.

Show quote history

What happened that led to you nearly divorcing your H over his sister?

angellinaballerina7 · 27/08/2024 06:28

anxioussister · 27/08/2024 01:55

Why can’t DH say ‘having a great time, enjoying being able to switch off - we’ll tell you all about it when we get home!’ And then ignore her

This.

Lovethat · 27/08/2024 05:03

Why can't your dh just text the chat with 'I'll update you when we get back, I'm switching my phone off now as I want to spend time with my family and not sit on my phone all day. Catch you when we get back'

Or he simply does the same as you, mutes the chat for the two weeks

anxioussister · 27/08/2024 01:57

(It’s really odd to want daily holiday updates from anyone - holidays are people’s opportunity to switch off and relax. If she’s really pestering daily for information - she sounds unhinged!)

anxioussister · 27/08/2024 01:55

Why can’t DH say ‘having a great time, enjoying being able to switch off - we’ll tell you all about it when we get home!’ And then ignore her

Gollumm · 27/08/2024 01:52

YABU. Your dh has a right to share photos with his family if he wants to. Just tell him to stop telling you about it and enjoy your holiday. Sounds like you need to let some stuff go regarding your SIL.

PullTheBricksDown · 27/08/2024 01:43

I'd ask your husband 'why are you telling me this?' He must know it'll upset you. If he acts clueless tell him you won't get involved at all and don't want to hear it mention again.

JFDIYOLO · 27/08/2024 01:03

You nearly divorced over her.
She's now demanding pictures and updates of YOUR family holiday.
It's so weird.
Is there some creepy entanglement between her and her brother and she resents you getting in between them?

HauntedbyMagpies · 27/08/2024 00:46

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 26/08/2024 21:12

How rude to tell her to F off

I would love if my child had an auntie who was really invested in him and wanted updates. If you don't get on with her let your DH be the one to send the updates that's what my brother would do.

Did you miss the part where this woman was saying things to OP's DD (a child!) about her own mummy?!

HauntedbyMagpies · 27/08/2024 00:44

Why is your DH sharing photos of your DD with a woman who said things to her - a child! - about her mummy?!? She should be cut off completely she sounds deranged

TotHappy · 27/08/2024 00:41

I wouldn't have my husband tell me I couldn't send pictures of my kids on holiday to my sisters or brother.

HollyKnight · 27/08/2024 00:24

It sounds like your DH is a bit of a shit-stirrer.