Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Treating grand children fairly?

111 replies

Tryintoparent · 26/08/2024 20:20

MIL has 5 grandchildren in total. A day out was planned to a funfair for all of them.
Two of the grand kids were unwell on the day so couldn’t go.
MIL gave the 3 ‘well’ children £20 each to spend at the funfair. The question is, should she have given £20 to the other two as well who were unwell?

YABU - she shouldn’t have given the two unwell kids money as it was given to spend at the fair.

YANBU - all of the kids should’ve been treated the same and all given £20 each

OP posts:
MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 26/08/2024 20:32

No the money was spending money for the trip out! My parents will often give ds 20 euros (etc) if we're going on holiday they wouldn't give DNs the same amount at the same time, I'm pretty sure they do similar when DB takes DNs on holiday but no one is keeping count. What if we go on 3 holidays one year and they only go on two, what about the fact there are two DNs and only one of my DC. It's nonsense and ridiculous point scoring!

Humdingerydoo · 26/08/2024 20:32

I wouldn't expect her to give the kids who missed it £20, no. I would just assume she'll want to take them on a different outing another time instead to make up for it and give them the spending money then instead.

mynameiscalypso · 26/08/2024 20:31

That's so...business like. What a weird attitude to have.

StuckOnTheCeiling · 26/08/2024 20:30

The money was specifically to spend at the fair, so no, the others don’t need it.

What would be nice, but not obligatory, would be to either get something from the fair for the kids who missed out, or to do some kind of make up outing later.

MoxFulder · 26/08/2024 20:29

YABU.

MissRachelismycoparent · 26/08/2024 20:28

No, of course she didn't need to give the ones who weren't there £20. It's like not going with her to a museum but expecting her to post you the money for the admission fee she didn't pay for you.

GRex · 26/08/2024 20:27

I would think most grandmothers would take the poorly ones out for a different treat some other time in coming months. That might or might not include being given some money, the equity comes from giving each a treat.

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/08/2024 20:25

What? No.

KNein · 26/08/2024 20:22

No, that's ridiculous and very mercenary of the parents of the ill children. I'd assume things will even out over time, next time she takes them out or once when she takes the "ill" children out without the others for whatever reason.

AllBlackEverything · 26/08/2024 20:22

No. The money was to be spent at the funfair, not "just because".

ChickenandaCanofCoke · 26/08/2024 20:21

No, she didn't need to give the kids who weren't there £20 ffs.