To not want to go on a 'surprise' forced holiday with MIL and 3 Nephews

You don't want to go - that isn't unreasonable, but you don't want to actually tell anyone that - that is unreasonable.

You're just going to have to carry on going then aren't you?

Christ no.

People who have/like children just don’t understand people who don’t enjoy their company.

You just need to stand firm and tell MIL that although it’s very kind of her you want an adults only holiday this year so you won’t be joining. You need to do it now or you’ll end up on this holiday every year!

Best of luck OP and it isn’t rude or ungrateful to not want a free holiday to a destination that isn’t of your choosing with a group you don’t want to holiday with! A gift is supposed to be enjoyed by the recipient!

I don't know, if it was a week I would absolutely not be going but for a weekend? I just think family is so important and more so as you get older. That's probably MIL's take on it.

I wouldn't take annual leave for it but get there late Friday night and take some nice snacks and wine for when you arrive (after kids bedtime!)

Saturday as your Xmas present if it's the adults you get on with you could book something like an afternoon tea or spa session if that's your thing for you, your SIL and MIL so that's got you away for the afternoon,

Sunday just head back after lunch for the dog/having to travel that night for work any excuse.
I have kids but am actually not a great Aunty I just don't gel well with little kids. But if you push them on the swings, play some UNO with them and read them a story then I feel like I've done my bit.

I definitely wouldnt use any annual leave for this trip.

I'm not sure how frequently you see them, but based on this I'd consider the sat/sun.

Someone will have to be upset here. Either you OP. Or MIL who sounds overbearing.

It isn’t impossible! You say it’s not your thing or whatever! They literally cannot force you go.

Can't believe all the posts telling you to go. Just find a polite way of saying no. Would be my idea of hell and surely you can see nices and nephews at other times without being with them 24/7? Not everyone wants to be around kids!

Perhaps the OP's MIL could take a couple of those people instead then.

I know,it would've been 'thanks,but no thanks' from me after the first trip.

I think that part of the problem here is the shared space. If you're introverted or can't relax around your in laws, that is tough. So I think that you need to shell out for your own accommodation or hotel room, citing the dog barking as being an issue. I think that having somewhere to retreat to is key.

but its not a rare chance to be together, read the Op's posts

Could you suggest an alternative? Forest Holidays are good. More outdoorsy and low key with lots of opportunities for dog walks? Or perhaps a coastal hotel with a pool? You don't see your nephews much as it is. One day you may well decide that you do want children and then you will most probably idolise them and be in your own bubble and appreciate the gesture and having family around. You need to suck it up for now and not be so selfish.

It's not at Christmas, it's just given as a gift at Christmas. That actual break is at another time.

If I were you, I'd go for the overnight option, or better still your DH goes for the weekend and you stay home with the dog (claim some doggy illness). Your MIL clearly enjoys getting all the family together, and I think you should go for at least some of the time because it is important to her. The kids will soon grow up, and it will become a more adult affair.

Can't you do something with your family this Xmas instead? Tell MiL you have been with them for 5 years in a row. Your family will feel neglected and then spend time with your own family.

I think your partner needs to be the one having a quiet word with her and telling her that these large child-centred family holidays are wonderful fun for her but aren’t something that either of you find particularly relaxing or tailored to what you enjoy doing on break so you’d like her to just book them for herself, the children and their parents.

I know you don’t want to upset her but I do think her getting her way by just booking things without consultation has happened often enough now for her to have had more than enough compliance with her wishes. You’re adults - you don’t need his mum telling you what you’ll be doing for a weekend break! It’s not even as if it’s free!

I fully understand why you don't want to go.
However, family dynamics are also about give and take. As others have said it's one weekend a year. Freaking out about this makes you sound self indulgent. The benefit of not going to you versus the negative impact of insulting the whole family by refusing to go for me would swing in favour of going.
I would suck it up but I'd also try to influence MIL to book something a bit less claustrophobic where you can take yourselves off for a couple of hours each day and achieve some balance. The messaging around that conversation could be managed in a way less incendiary manner. It comes across in your post as if you just don't really like them that much. That's what they'll think if you won't go at any rate.

Bollocks to sucking it up. Just tell her you aren’t enjoying this type of trip and you don’t want her to waste her money on paying for you any more. Plus you’ll be in Barbados or etc for a fortnight this year.

You need to suck it up Op. Try to work out ways to make it more appealing to you. If it's Centerparcs for EG, none of us have any qualms about the childless couples going off the the Aqua Sana Spa on their own during a child centric day and meeting back for a meal in the evening.

There’s no magic solution OP. You either have to tell some version of the truth and hope they’re not offended or suck it up. Nothing else you can do!

To quote a former US First Lady "Just say 'No'!"

We do something similar each year and it's not my favourite thing but having our own accommodation helps. I couldn't cope if we were all in the same van.

I haven't RTFT. But I'm also in the camp of sucking it up for the sake of MIL - it's clearly important to her to once a year have all her family together, particularly if she is splurging on this when she doesn't have much money. But I guess it goes to an overall point of how important family is to you and how much you are willing to invest in family dynamics.

I'm also surprised that you hate it so much - it feels like a pretty extreme reaction to me. I also think people who have a very strong 'we don't do children' position are a bit limited. In my family we all see our annual family holiday as important bonding time (and the poster who commented on the uncle not being able to have much of a bond with his young nephews is baffling - of course you can build a relationship with young children in the extended family!). The reality is that I don't love every second of it - some of the logistics etc. of young children is pretty dull and they can be annoying at times. But the great thing about being childfree is you can pick when and how much to engage with the bits that bore you.

Can't you change your mindset and lean into what you are doing rather than being so fixed that you find children boring and the whole thing unbearable? If the children/dog dynamic causes issues then don't take the dog. And make it work for you - you don't have to be glued at the hip, take a book, do some long walks etc.

Of course you don't have to do this - but you're not going to be able to find a way out without hurting feelings.

@godmum56 I didn't say they "must" see them, but it appears that this trip is important to MIL, who OP seems to like and presumably wants to have a good relationship with. If it's a rare chance to be together then I'm suggesting OP could come to a compromise rather than a flat out "no", for the sake of family relationships (which OP and her DH do seem to value). There's nothing in OP's comments to suggest that she doesn't want to build relationships with DH's family; it's just that this particular trip isn't working for them as a way to do that.

I think it's your choice, your happiness matters also. Not sure why MIL & SIL's feelings are more important. However I think you're missing a trick with Center Parcs as we've been there before we had children and had a lovely time, the spa there is amazing, quad biking and pedalo boats are good fun. So many adult activities to enjoy. We never thought of it as a soley child centered place.