Don’t want to again pay import duty for gift from friend?

Why didn't you say before and send back the wedding present? It's very easy "Hi, I got a parcel note saying import charges on your parcel will be £70, so I'm letting it be returned back to you, hopefully you can regift it. Thanks for thinking of us anyway."

You don't need to say anything about not having £70 etc, it's bloody obvious why you aren't spending £70 to get a random teddy or whatever.

Pain in the backside, had two of these this year - paid online & opted for next day post, only for it to arrive four days late for my birthday

Please be honest.
Just be honest and tell her that it's £70 and it's not something you can afford to pay.
I'm sure she'd be horrified knowing you've paid £100 in the past and it's £70 now again. She can correct this unless she is told about it properly and openly.

Basically paying for your own present- be honest with her, tell her it’s very kind but because things are going up so much, best not to send presents anymore

Don’t collect the item and don’t pay the £70. Let it get sent back to her. If she re-sends and does it again - rinse and repeat.

You need to tell her that you cannot afford to pay high customs charges. So if she sends things through and hasn’t completed the form correctly and it results in you being on the receiving end of a customs charge, then you won’t be paying it and it will be sent back to her. Because you simply cannot afford it. It’s not really a gift if you’re the one paying for it!

One of my best friends sent me a birthday card last year (we’re both in the UK, she’s 5 minutes down the road). She’d used an out of date stamp, so it wasn’t valid. So instead of receiving said birthday card, I received a card from Royal Mail advising I’d have to pay £1.20 to collect the item. I never bothered. I’m not paying for my own birthday card 😂

Please do tell her what’s happening OP. About 3 years ago I posted presents after moving to a new Country and I was super careful to fill in the duty forms for zero cost UK end. One of the presents was attributed with a £150 tax to be paid (this was the value of the item) - the recipient messaged me and very pointedly said what shall I do. As it was a birthday present I reluctantly paid and then investigated. Turns out this suddenly happened to lots of my fellow expats too and we were all advised it was due to unscrupulous carriers UK side adding spurious fees for supposed tax mistakes. Apparently it’s now a huge money making thing in the UK. I now buy all gifts online within the UK or physically take with me.

Just message her and say you can't afford to pay the £70 customs charge.

This is standard after Brexit. I live in Spain and we pay to receive stuff as well. Best thing is to Moonpig or Amazon
stuff and avoid all the fees.

Having a chat with a relative, we realised that her DD had outgrown a character that my dd was into. My dd's birthday was coming up so relative said she'd send some of her dd's old toys over as a gift. Great!
Got a letter from the postal company saying I had to pay the import tax to receive it. Relative had put down the total she'd paid for the toys brand new, not the second hand value which would have been less than €20. So annoying

I have family in the USA. They used to send gifts for my DC but I asked them to stop for this reason. The taxes I had to pay every time (not to mention the hassle of going to the Post Office collection centre and associated parking costs) were often considerably more than the cost of the gift. They tried a couple of times after that but I just didn't go and collect the parcels and told them why I hadn't.

This was always going to be more likely after Brexit. You need to check out both import duty and VAT, see here https://www.gov.uk/goods-sent-from-abroad/tax-and-duty

I really used to enjoy choosing presents for my nieces in France, my brother finally confessed to me that since Brexit he's been charged big import taxes. I can't seem to work it out so I’m going to have to stop and use Amazon or transfer cash. Which I’m quite sad about as I loved being the aunty who sends lovely presents.

These days, many businesses which export their products include the import fees in their pricing and pay them on behalf of the end purchaser - you are still paying them, but painlessly. 🙂

I don't think it's just about just ticking a box. Since bl...y Brexit I've had to send gifts to my DGs via Amazon De. I did this recently but decided to also send two books. I declared them as childrens' books and as gifts. They cost £28 and DS had to pay £15 duty. I curse anyone who voted for Brexit every birthday and every Christmas.

@MissScarletInTheBallroom I used to buy reusable nappies from a US website, send them to my friend's house. They removed the labels and sent it as used clothing, no charges incurred.

Don’t collect it. She needs to grow up and understand what she’s doing ! These days there’s no need to send stuff overseas. Use the internet like everyone else!

You should ask your friend for future gifts to use a UK webshop. We have a friend in Canada, and when we send her something, we just order it via a Canadian webshop.

Yes this happens with PILs. They send stuff from Australia which may or may not be taxed. There is no consistency to them being noticed by the authorities.

Anyway we just tell them not to put over £39 because that's when the checks kick in for gifts. It's not much money to be fair before import duty is applied and often their gifts cost more than that and they panic and put the price on to be covered for insurance. Then we get a £90 bill.

We just tell them. It cost us x to get your gift (usually same or more than they originally spent). It certainly sours the gift.

They are better now at using John Lewis or Amazon.

I only live in Europe, but if I want to send something to relatives or friends in the UK I got to a UK website, whether John Lewis, an independent shop, a florist or even the dreaded Amazon and order from there. Often this comes with free delivery and no tax or vat to pay.
Of course this process is much more clinical than choosing something locally, wrapping it, packing it etc., but at the very least you are 99% certain that the good will arrive.
It is a shame that your friend, although acting kindly, didn't think this through very well.

Is she generally a 'ditsy' type? It seems to be particularly useless to not understand the currency of a country you used to live in.

Do you think there's any deliberate incompetence/helplessness going on?

You need to be honest with her. Let it get
sent back. I think you can actually contest the cost by showing that the contents aren't worth the amount stated though. It's too much to pay, especially if she is just making up numbers. You need to be savvy when sending from abroad, tick the box that says it's a gift, and not go over the amount. Send her the instructions from Royal Mail website because they have a stupidly low threshold.

Just be honest with her though. Tell her you won't pay and she needs to correct it. Why do you need to gently suggest? Just say it outright.

Message and say gave you sent something it's asking for £70 to collect it??

See what she says.

I'm astonished at the stupidity of people who put in the customs declaration amounts that result in import duties of £46 for a cheap plastic frame, or who consider the number of hours it took to make a blanket when calculating its value for customs purposes...