To feel guilty my children have nothing

Please do not feel ashamed.

You have done the best thing you could ever do for your children - put them first and leave an abusive home.

Well done you!

So many children would trade all of their holidays, game consoles, branded clothes and top of the range mobiles to feel safe in their own homes.

Post/look on Freecycle, gumtree, marketplace etc and scour the charity shops.

Ask the school and your local council if they provide any financial assistance.

Did you get the advance from UC?

If you haven’t already, I would look for a little PT job over 2 or 3 days.
Not only will you have more money but it will also give you a confidence boost and give you something positive in your life.

As a side note, as you've got loads of good advice.

I'm not sure if you've had any treatment for your ptsd but you can get an amazing therapy called EMDR which is made for PTSD. It helps reset your brain of the flash backs. You can go through yourself or get your GP to refer you. You can get it free on the NHS. There could be a waiting list but it will really help set you free. Good luck op

Well done for getting away, that is a huge step and takes courage! The holidays will soon be over so I would try concentrate on back to school now. Honestly don’t worry about not going on fancy days out etc, my kids haven’t had them either and they are fine! I would absolutely contact school re the shoes and coats or even try your local Facebook page. (You can post anonymously on most then just PM) I have boys and would be happy to post things to you? I would also look at claiming PIP if you haven’t already. Life will get better! This is just another hurdle to get through. Please accept any help you can and be proud of yourself 💐

Talk to their schools. Be honest about what has happened and your current struggles. Many schools have pots of money that can be accessed to help families in extremis. One of my granddaughters got grants for her GCSE study guides, for example, as she was in a single parent family. Start by talking to their Heads of Year for support & advice. On addition many schools have lost property store rooms, crammed with good quality school uniform that has been discarded and never claimed, ask if they have any unwanted uniform items. You don't have to involve your children in your discussions if you think it would embarrass them. Good luck, you're a great mum and have done the best thing for your family..

If you are too ill to work then ask for your kids to be registered as young carers and they should be entitled to days out and other provision as part of that.
Also contact DA support services who may be able to help
Long term, push hard for help for the PTSD as it is available and hopefully with the right emotional support/medication you can move back into work and things will improve for you all financially

Please don’t feel bad. You love your children and have given them a safe home… many children are not this lucky.

There are lots of things you can do with your kids for free or cheaply at weekends and in the holidays… go to the park, have a picnic, bake/ice cakes, go to a museum, go to the city farm, go to the beach/forest, go to the library, go to summer fates, watch movies at home (make your own popcorn), go camping. Don’t let a lack of money stop you from enjoying your children’s childhood… it goes so quickly.

Ypu Sound like the most amazing mama who has prioritised the important things of safety and love for your boys. Well done mama ❤️
however I would love to send you something so you can treat them- please message me privately so we can arrange xx

I'll add, look for local community fridges/ larders. You don't need a referral, they're open to everybody

Without outing yourself, if you post your general area, we could search local resources for you.

I'm sorry to read this OP but you should be proud of yourself.Your children have a mother who puts them first which is wonderful. If you don't mind me asking if you were able to take on a job what would it be?

Are there any local uniform banks near you? They usually have coats/shoes.

Try your local Freecycle Wanted posts for any clothes, bikes, toys etc etc.
Local museums are often free for days out
Library storytime for young kids; Council playground/skate park/kids art events are often low/zero cost; walks and bike rides; paddling pool or hosepipe in the garden
Things are hard for you now but it seems you have turned a corner by getting out of that relationship and things can only get better. Best of luck to you x

You've done well, you've got them to safety.
Do they all need new uniform because it's a change of school, or can they use last year's uniform? TBH shoes are the priority, everything else can be secondhand or passed down, only the biggest might need you to actually buy something.
Uniform sellers like to make people think that every child has to be rekitted every September but that's not actually necessary. As you've got 4 DC of the same sex, you'll save a fortune passing clothes down.
It sounds like some of them are teenagers, so old enough to take themselves off to the park for a kickabout, or to earn a bit of money if they want to.
You've clearly been traumatised, but it would be good to start thinking about going back to work, the longer you leave it, the harder it will be to get back into the workplace.

Are you in touch with your local Women's Aid - they can signpost you to places for support.

I also 2nd the Baby Bank suggestion, ours does clothes for all ages and if they don't have something they put a plea out and often get lots donated.

Well done for taking the plunge and going it alone. That's hard enough at the best of times, without the trauma that an abusive relationship causes. They'll benefit hugely from that move. Practically, what about having a look on vinted. You can get super cheap coats that with a quick wash will come up new.

Are they not on free school meals?

My kids been going to the free days that replaced the shopping vouchers, they get fed while there and its a full day of organized activities and there are loads on all over (although we only went to the closest one as I no longer drive). They are even going on a coach trip this week to a museum for free.

The only issue is my youngest doesn't qualify despite being in the same school under the pre-school program so the older 2 can go and I have to then figure out something to distract the youngest from realizing she can't do the same.

Our local Baby Bank provides school uniform, shoes and stationary so do see if you have one local to you. They also have coats, other clothing and shoes etc so please do seek out support like this.

We also have various local Facebook pages for giving away free things of all kinds so check these out too.

Are you entitled to free school meals? If you are, you should be able to get vouchers to help with lunches during the holidays.

OP, your children don't have nothing, they have you, and they now have a loving and safe environment in which to grow up. Those things are beyond price. And my happiest childhood memories are all of things that were free or cost very little. Check your local council's website, and your local libraries, there are often lots of activities for families and children that are free. Make sure you get the children out to public parks and other green spaces to play and walk, that will do you all good physically and mentally.

You have done the best thing by getting away from this man. It may be hard but one day at a time it could get better. If you are universal credit could you look at courses. Consider what affects your ptsd and what may work for you? Or are there jobs that may be possible having a bit of income may make a difference.

OP is there a Trussel Trust food bank in your area? You can get a referral from a GP/social worker or even school. Please ask for a referral as they will hopefully be able to signpost towards more financial help....there are all sorts of extra benefits available that no one knows about! SIM cards, winter heat packs, advice on other organisations that might be able to help you...as well as a comprehensive amount of food to help re stock the cupboards. Help is out there, it can seem yr on your own but there are many people who can help-good luck.