To feel guilty my children have nothing

If you google "gingerbread single parents grants" it should take you to a page where you can put some details in and it will give you a list of grants you may be entitled to, there may be ones you wouldn't know to look for because someone in the family was in a certain profession etc. Worth a look through in case you can utilise some of the grants available.

You've been an amazing mother, you removed them from danger and they are safe. That is the number one priority, being safe. Well done you. You will heal eventually, please be kind to yourself. I'd get them cheap anoraks in case it rains. Save up now for coats for October. You could ask on face book, your local area page. Explain that you're struggling and would appreciate second hand coats for your children. We have it sometimes, and people around here are very quick to donate. People have so much stuff their kids have outgrown, they want to give things to people who need them.

OP I echo everything that has been said, well done you.

Please don't hesitate to reach put to charities for clothes and furniture. Our local charities are so overwhelmed with quality clothes they can't accept anymore. Your local churches might also be more than willing to assist.

With my dd I spent August doing everything that is free locally. Museums are plentiful and suitable for all ages. Lakes and beaches and forests and various days of trying things out run by charities, councils etc
It's harder when they are teenagers but there are options.

Post anonymously that is

Well done for removing yourself and your DC from DA
That takes courage and determination
Your DC have all they need in you, and they will thrive knowing life is safe and calm now.
Please ask at your GP surgery to speak to the social prescriber
They know and can refer you if needed to anything which would help your family
Don't be afraid to ask for help
You can post on local area FB page asking for coats, shoes etc and anything else you need.
There are a lot of kind people out there

Op for kids clothes you could contact this organisation - they will also probably know who can help with teens. They are W Midlands, but if they aren’t quite the right area for you, they will know the charity that is

https://www.kidsclothesproject.co.uk/

this is a community larder that covers W Midlands

https://www.yourlocalpantry.co.uk/

when you are ready to start thinking about work, you could ask your GP or the school social worker to refer you here for an outfit and styling advice and also an hours interview coaching

https://birmingham.smartworks.org.uk/

This is a really good women’s centre in Birmingham, if you are interested in some confidence building courses, they could probably put you in touch with a similar organisation near you

https://anawim.co.uk/

For Christmas the Salvation Army provides toys for 2 to 17 year olds, I’d guess your school social worker can refer you. There W Midlands head office is below, so if you ring them you could ask how to be referred

https://www.salvationarmy.org.uk/wmd

for help with a family holiday next year, contact this organisation, and they’ll tell you how to apply

https://familyholidaycharity.org.uk/

There is some super advice on here and I can’t add to it but I did want to say that you sound like you are trying your very best and I hope that brighter times are around the corner for you.

You are doing amazing firstly!
You have gotten your children out of a toxic situation, that is not an easy feat. At all.
Are you sure you are claiming everything? Maybe voluntary organisations could help also?
Your kiss probably enjoyed having lots of down time. All these holidays on Instagram etc yes sometimes they are lovely but others there are lots or arguing, illness when away etc or the parents are stressed out as they are paying for it all on credit cards. OR it's families just like yours who have gone through tough times and now are enjoying better days. Your time will come. In the meantime give yourself the credit you deserve x

OP contact The Clothing Bank for help with clothing. They send out a 7 day parcel of clothing for the family. They may be able to help with coats, etc too.

theclothingbank.org.uk/Menu/support

Do you drive at all? Going to the beach etc doesn't have to be expensive, take a packed lunch and just make it clear that you won't have money for treats but the treat itself is having fun in the beach and swimming in the sea? Looks to be nice the next few weeks! (If you don't drive then there may be coaches that u can go on that shouldn't be too expensive)

Also, browse the charity shops or vinted for uniforms etc, there's a charity shop near me that sells kids clothes 40p per item, I managed to get immaculate boys school trousers and a black Nike hoody for p.e! Noone will know it's second hand trust me.

In Ireland but is there a Fb local mums group that you could ask about coats? I’ve gotten a coat for the kids that way (free) and given a few away too. A games night in is always the best way to round off the holidays. And you can’t be a failure- what you’ve done is so strong and brave xxxxxxxxx

Check out your local baby bank - this website should help you find the nearest to you. https://littlevillagehq.org/uk-baby-banks/

They don’t just help with baby things - I know our local one also does school uniforms, and children right up to teens, as well as shoes and coats. Even if your local one says it only covers babies it would be worth contacting them to see if they can signpost you to other organisations that could help.

Things will get better, there are lots of places that can help. It may also be worth getting in contact with the health visitor if any of your children are still under them and asking if there’s any help they can offer - again they would be up to date on all the relevant organisations local to you that may be able to help. Even if they aren’t under the health visitor anymore may still be worth a call.

Well done for getting out of that abusive relationship. That took guts. I would also strongly recommend EMDR for PTSD. Worked wonders for me.

I wish to be there to come round and contact every single institution with my passion and tell them to get on with it and help you.

You are the person that should be getting all the benefits. I am ashamed of what I see around me, two healthy young adults on benefits, with kids and no jobs.

Could you look at Scouts so they have something to do regularly, perhaps camping trips too, and ask about grants for the subs and camping? Your eldest might have aged out, but there is so much they could get out of scouting - it's brilliant:

https://www.scouts.org.uk/volunteers/running-things-locally/grants-and-funds-for-your-local-group/grants-from-ukhq/col-support-fund/

Very sorry to hear about your situation and i do wish you all the best.

only advice i can give is remember this moment and work hard to make sure next summer holidays are better and you are able to buy your children nice clothes and maybe even take them on a holiday.

you need to find a way to make more money... give yourself a deadline to get a job or a way to make some extra money and you will feel like a new person!

In some areas children can have free swimming sessions if the parents are in receipt of certain benefits. I know you’d need costumes but presumably they need these anyway for school swimming lessons?

If your children have free school meals have a look at HAF clubs. They are run by all sorts of clubs and communities. They offer a free hot lunch and an activity to get them out.

It’s easy to say, but please try and get out there and get a job, make yourself feel better and get on with your life for you and your kids. If you want to improve your own situation no one else can do it but you.

I think it's important not to be ashamed - so many, many people are in the same position you are in financially, some for the same reason, others for different ones. You've done an amazing thing getting yourself and them away from an abuser - it may not feel like it now but you have made their lives and their future so much brighter. Take one day at a time and look after yourself as best you can.

Well done for leaving a relationship that was toxic and unsafe for your children.

We had very very little when my eldest were younger despite the fact I worked full time for almost all that time. We did so many things - walks, family paint night, family games night, free community events. I used to have a little book where I'd write down best prices for things and every pence had to work. All spending was planned especially food. We ate a healthy and balanced diet but it took really being aware of prices and planning. By doing that I freed up 10-20 a week for other things that would crop up.

Get any help you can AND work on getting well so that you can be in an even better situation. Start by volunteering at a charity shop or animal shelter. Something that when the kids are in school will help you get into a routine which helps get you back to work.

Make use of any free community groups in facebook. So many people list things for free in buy nothing groups. You can even post what you are in search of (ISO). I've given to many people who then let me know they are starting over. It's been a privilege to support them.

You are not a failure. You've given your DC the world.

Is there a branch of The bread and butter thing? You pay and get a couple of big bags of food.
I would definitely post on local Facebook groups as yourself and if anyone knows of uniform banks. I use to give my barely worn uniform to one local to me.
Olio is great too but you have to be fast for the good stuff or volunteer to collect and you keep what you need before advertising.