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AIBU?

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Should I quit or fight this?

32 replies

kittykattyblue · 26/08/2024 16:28

I manage a team of eight people in my division, and we all got along well until about a year ago when a new member joined. Since then, my division has become divided. This new member constantly complains about everything I do but only behind my back. She takes her complaints to my superiors instead of addressing them with me directly. Additionally, she lies frequently. Once, she filed a complaint accusing me of being unsupportive, but nothing came of it due to lack of evidence.
She buys gifts for those in her group, does they’re work for them, and even provides a place for them to stay. Just last week, she accompanied one of them to my superiors to complain about me not being supportive.
Even though I know I have done nothing wrong and was always respected for being supportive before she arrived, I feel increasingly stressed and helpless each time she pulls one of these stunts. I have always told the truth, but I am starting to worry that this situation could work against me. She’s very skilled at charming my seniors, and my division is now split into two camps: those who are afraid of her and those who find her entertaining, charming and believe everything she says.
I have met with HR who have said they would need evidence. Surely repeated complaints about me is evidence?
At this point, I am wondering if it would be best to leave and start fresh elsewhere? I hate the idea of having to leave because of this though.The other option is to get a transfer to another branch which is a couple of miles further to travel to.

OP posts:
Harvestfestivalknickers · 26/08/2024 16:38

I would kill her with kindness and go totally overboard with being supportive. Schedule a weekly meeting with her so you can work on areas where she needs support. Use the fact that she complains to management about your lack of support as a reason for doing so. If she says she doesn't feel the need for these weekly meetings get her to confirm that she's OK with your support. Do everything by email, so if she cancels the meeting you've got evidence. Go out of your way to meet and chat about her complaints about you, keep having catch ups, irritate the hell out of her by checking she feels 'supported'. If she carries on complaining, show the lengths you've gone to and raise a grievance

maldensol · 26/08/2024 16:38

kittykattyblue · 26/08/2024 16:37

She is actually quite negative, she is constantly complaining and whining about the minutest details. It’s draining having her on the team.

not to others it would seem

maldensol · 26/08/2024 16:38

kittykattyblue · 26/08/2024 16:35

She manipulated the person into complaining about me is how I view it. That person was totally fine with me a year ago.

yes i am sure you view it like that op

kittykattyblue · 26/08/2024 16:37

maldensol · 26/08/2024 16:31

yes i think for the best you leave op

she sounds like a very positive member of the team and despite being her manager….you don’t seem to have the respect of your team or your seniors

She is actually quite negative, she is constantly complaining and whining about the minutest details. It’s draining having her on the team.

OP posts:
kittykattyblue · 26/08/2024 16:35

She manipulated the person into complaining about me is how I view it. That person was totally fine with me a year ago.

OP posts:
maldensol · 26/08/2024 16:33

so someone else in your team was complaining about you and she accompanied them?

Yes OP, hand your notice in before
you lose your job

maldensol · 26/08/2024 16:31

yes i think for the best you leave op

she sounds like a very positive member of the team and despite being her manager….you don’t seem to have the respect of your team or your seniors