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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be suspicious?

64 replies

AIBU2bjealous · 26/08/2024 14:43

Posted yesterday about DH and a female friend. Maybe she made a pass, maybe not. I don’t really have any reason not to trust DH, but she seems a bit keen on him and it makes me uncomfortable. After not seeing each other for a while, DH told me they’d made plans for this week. I asked what they would be doing today and he told me: she’d invited him over to her house as her DH is away. He’s to come over after dinner when her DC are sleeping.

is my DH completely oblivious? Is this a bit odd? I have male friends who are platonic but I wouldn’t invite them to mine in this circumstance without their partner or children! AIBU to find this odd?

OP posts:
Original poster
AIBU2bjealous · 26/08/2024 15:28

He told me this morning before work, I haven’t had a chance to chat with him about it yet, was planning to after the DCs are in bed. Posting here for traffic because I know I can be a bit insecure but do feel this crosses a line?

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 26/08/2024 15:18

And have you done anything or said anything to your husband since the last thread?

TheClawDecides · 26/08/2024 15:18

CarrieHain · 26/08/2024 14:57

Why was the last thread deleted?

It wasn't.

The OP bumped it with an update but then decided to start this one also.

Original poster
AIBU2bjealous · 26/08/2024 15:13

Ehm not AI generated. Just posted another thread for attention because I’m feeling a bit out of my mind!

OP posts:
Onthefinalstretch · 26/08/2024 15:12

Well I posted on your last thread OP.
I said then that something obviously happened that night in the pub and the change in their behaviour together was worrying. I thought you should be wary of their relationship going forward.

So I'm not particularly surprised by yout update.

I think though if you are talking to him about his relationship with her and you are saying to him you are bit jealous of this woman you aren't approaching the conversation very well. By saying you are jealous implies that you think you are being unreasonable. Whereas in fact you aren't being unreasonable in questioning why , as a married man, he thinks it's acceptable to go for a date with another woman at night in her own home when her DH is away.
You should be putting it to him that their relationship is too close and inappropriate and asking him to draw back from it, rather than saying you are jealous.

Crunchymum · 26/08/2024 15:03

CarrieHain · 26/08/2024 14:57

Why was the last thread deleted?

Was it?

I was just going to ask why another thread if she posted yesterday.

SaintHonoria · 26/08/2024 15:00

If true then it's odd not to invite both of you round of she's a bit lonely whilst her husband is away and kids are in bed.

BruceJennersLostOrgan · 26/08/2024 14:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

CarrieHain · 26/08/2024 14:57

Why was the last thread deleted?

Original poster
AIBU2bjealous · 26/08/2024 14:56

Yes, it’s an old friend, they never had a romantic relationship but have always gotten on quite well.

briefly: we moved back to the village where they grew up, they saw each other once a month or so (sometimes with me and her DH and our kids, sometimes alone). One night he came back after being at the pub for a few and said the next day he’d had too much to drink and was stopping for a bit. (He never drinks more than one). He didn’t see her for several months until we met with our DC and she was sort of fawning over him, looking longingly, giving him compliments. I don’t know if he made a pass or she did on that other night (or if nothing happened).

I have told him I feel a bit jealous of her (she’s sort of perfect, she’s beautiful and wealthy and intelligent and glamorous) and he’s told me I have nothing to be worried about. But the way that she looks at him makes me a bit uncomfortable. And now the post-dinner invite with the husband away…it’s a bit odd, isn’t it?

OP posts:
GabriellaMontez · 26/08/2024 14:51

Is this an old friend?

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 26/08/2024 14:51

I have male friends that I have happily had over for dinner just the two of us.

But with that there's not been any history of maybe coming on to each other etc - what happened there? Did she do something that you saw? That DH told you about? That someone else mentioned to you? Have you spoken to DH about it?

StolenChanel · 26/08/2024 14:49

I wouldn’t be comfortable with this. I didn’t see your previous thread. Have you aired this concern? If so, what did you take from his response?

FiveTreeHill · 26/08/2024 14:47

Without knowing your DH it's hard to know if he's oblivious or cheating but it's quitw blatantly overstepping the mark to go round the house of woman who seems quite openly interested, in the evening specifically when her partner is away

Is he generally a bit thick? Does he usually lack critical thinking? If not then I'd say he knows what he's doing

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