Mums of sons. (Hard hat on for this)

I've just seen a thread (as an example) by a 40 year old man whose female partner has kicked him. He's been told unanimously (at the time of me writing this) that she is not a safe partner, is abusive and that he is a victim of assault so should end the relationship. People have sympathised and been (quite rightly) supportive and taken it seriously.

This isn't unusual on here. I've seen a number of threads by men in abusive relationships (including a couple of long running threads) where they are being emotionally abused or coercively controlled, with lots of support and kindness for them.

You may well be missing that side of the site by focusing on the posts that support your narrative / opinion that most people on here are misandrists.

Women can be arseholes and abusive too as evidenced on MN.

Your son's father might have been raised incredibly well by his own mother but that might've not had a meaningful impact on preventing whatever caused you to hate him.

Most men on here are idiots though. Lazy, selfish, abusers, addicts the list is endless. I hated the man I was married to, my ex before that I wouldn't live with a man now. I have a son and I will raise him better so he doesn't end up like his father

At best it's pointless and utterly futile in advancing feminism and solving the problem of VAWG and at worse it makes impressionable young minds more susceptible to Andrew Tate and his ilk.

re so called “double standards” I will give most women who post about their problems on MN the benefit of the doubt. I will assume positive intent and that they are being accurate about the issue. Because experience dictates that most are.

i will not with men. I will assume - because 20+ years on MN tells me that in the majority of cases I’m right - that men have an ulterior motive to posting, that they come with ill intent, to seek written validation that they can use offline to berate their partner; to invade their DPs safe space; to pick up women; or to otherwise troll.

I hate men posting on MN. Time and time again male posters are shown to be arrogant, abusive creeps and bullies. Many MNers have the same experience so if a man starts posting about how awful his wife is I’m going to be suspicious and give him short shrift.

OP do you read MN? Because there are posters like that on every single thread.
If you posted what filling should I have with my ham sandwich, there would be some posters berating you for eating ham and posting as if ham was the Devil's food.
Just read MN and you will see this. Stop trying to draw conclusions that are made up.

Yes! I remember the thread about the orgies and I do remember rolling my eyes thinking if a man had posted the exact same dilemma how wildly different the responses would have been!

Majority of men I come in contact with are arseholes. I don’t think my son is because I’m raising him to act in ways I don’t think are arseholeish. I can both believe that the male I interact with is an arsehole and believe my son isn’t one at the same time, I’m confused why you think that shouldn’t be allowed?

Unless I’ve massively misunderstood something along the way, which wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest, and if so I apologise!

I am married to the son of a woman who knows exactly what a red flag is, what violence and hate many, many men are capable of. VAWG is at epidemic levels, and it is underpinned by a misogynistic society. I'm so glad of it as she has brought up a well rounded, empathetic man who shares my life properly. I have been with men whose mothers love to whinge about those nasty feminists demonising all men, and how they will all kill themselves if that is pointed out - and their sons were wankers. I will be bringing my beautiful boys up as my MiL did. Neither she, nor I see criticism of sexist culture as man hate. Shame so many women do.

I'd stay off Reddit, OP, when you see what the men say to and about women on there, you'll explode with apoplexy. Or maybe not.

Agree with this. There’s a good example on a thread atm where a 16 year old girl had a one night stand after using fake ID to her into a club and pretending to be older. It didn’t take long for posters to start suggesting she was groomed/raped, when absolutely nothing in the OP had suggested that.

This is an excellent example of the point I think OP was trying to make - ie lack of nuance. The “men are bad” or “men are killers” line is pointless. And the silliness and superficiality of such posturing, as it occurs on a macro or national level, actually hinders the search for solutions to the very real problem of a minority of dangerous/violent men.

No, the poster you are quoting said some of the women. So not putting all women I to the same category.
To be honest the whole cool girl thing in your post just makes you look silly. Nobody is trying to be a cool girl. It just seems to be a phrase that people on here try to use in a derogatory way to women that dare to have a different opinion.

I see a lot of man hating on here and it really isn't good for anyone. Sometimes the responses completely dismiss that the woman could have done any wrong and go straight to berating men and LTB. It isn't good for women to be advised that the man is always wrong and they should be expecting perfection and never reflecting on their own behaviour and making efforts to improve themselves and their relationships. It isn't good for working through conflict, maintaining healthy relationships, raising fair, thoughtful and resilient boys and girls. I'm sure many more things are at detriment from the attitude of some women towards men. MN is the only place I see it.
I fully understand there is a lot of sexism towards women in the world and equality for women is what we need to fight for but that isn't the way to do it.

I think this, plus some of the general man-hating, may contribute to how gender disappointment posts are almost always about having boys. I think there is a general feeling on here that females are superior.

Yes , people are very quick to jump to divorce, what a CF etc....but when the other way round it's all hugs and sympathy. That said there are some genuinely horrible, nasty men out there and MN can be a haven of support for women in relationships with them.

On a similar note being asked to do any kind of childcare for step children, you'd think it was the end of days. If you get in a relationship with someone who has a child, that child should be the priority.
They're quick enough to say this when it's the OPs child. The amount of excluded/'seen as not quite as important as those birth children' step children - often quite deliberately and "justifiably" - in MN land is really quite depressing!

Poor kids, they didn't ask to be born or have step parents, if you're an adult in their life, then act like one and offer some fucking nurture.

I've been in two abusive relationships, I've been sexually harassed and assaulted by several men and not one of them has faced a single consequence. So yes I'm angry, sometimes I feel very bitter. I would rather live in a world where women don't have to feel like prey.

I have a lovely partner now and lovely male friends, so I'm well aware that it's not all men. The point is that men are able to get away with this behaviour over and over and over again.

Not all men who do bad things are evil. I think we society we need to think about how to educate young boys to treat girls and women better. I don't have sons but if I did I would want to think about how to raise them to be better.

I'm also not sure which threads you mean, if you have specific examples then at least link to them.

I can absolutely understand why a lot of women feel angry towards men though. I'm surprised you can't. Again, it's obviously not all men. But it is far too many of them.

i love men.not all of them.
i absolutely love and cherish my sons. yes i do agree there is often extreme anti men responses which if were used in as "generalised"way bout woman would be deemed chauvanistic and mysoginy.
there are a lot of insights on here that have forced me to include reserch in order to educate nd equip the boys with this knowledge.some of its utterly appalling and extremist. just like in real life.
i think you just have to hope that people have enough capacity to translate adopt,adapt,wipe out,varied opinions into something they can tangibly use as advise?

Agreed, there's a comment I found on YouTube that I think rather lines up with this...

"I say this as a straight guy, but I feel we're just waaaaay too hemmed in from both the leftists ("masculinity is toxic!") and the rightists ("Be a real man, pussy!").

We need to get away from Masculinity is good/evil. This is a false dichotomy. Masculinity is good and evil, as is femininity. Patriarchy, toxic masculinity, etc. is a simplification, it simplifies and conceals a reality that's much more nuanced and complicated then the ideologues on either side want to acknowledge."

Indeed. This entire thread is red pill.

A damn sight rather than actual assaults.