He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

Dump him.

@twoshedsjackson my mum used to sing that to me when I was little.There is a lot of wisdom in old songs.

'Twas ever thus.......The whole situation has echoes for me of a song I learned as a youngster: Soldier, Soldier.

"Oh soldier, soldier, won't you marry me,
With your musket, fife and gun?"
"Oh how can I marry such a pretty maid as you,
When I've got no hat to put on?"

So off she went to her grandfather's chest,
And she bought him a hat of the very very best.
She bought him a hat of the very very very best,
And the soldier put it on.

Many verses and items of clothing later......

"How can I marry such a pretty maid as you
With a wife and children at home?"

So glad you worked out for yourself that this one was a non-starter, and I wish you good luck with your career!

I don't know but I have heard many stories about men being very keen, then getting cold feet and backing off. More often than women do.

It looks very much as if he’s trying to end your relationship but is hoping that you will be annoyed by his behaviour and end the relationship first. I hope I’m wrong , of course, lots of love and luck to you

Isn't there an expression these days for someone who is keen one minute and then turns unpleasant? I don't mean a swear word, just a term used for that act. If he's not already in another relationship then he's got his priorities wrong.
As you say he raised marriage he should love and dote on you for the way you are now, anything other than that is wrong and time to move on.

You’re the ‘other woman’ - these are just excuses

I have used they, then, theirs since I was little and I'm 41. Dunno why but it just seemed to feel right to me as a person

This is either someone who has lied about his birthday or he didn't want a big fuss because he didn't want to bump into his real girlfriend whilst out and about. There are so many red flags (speaking from someone who has had similar the bfs happen in the past). Get rid!!!

So many red flags. Cash in your chips ASAP !

Leave him.

Bye now. Save yourself a lot of heartache. I'd say the same if you were a man whose gf seemed ashamed of him. Screw that.

He is pathetic. You are worth more than this rubbish!

The not wanting his friends to meet you is my concern. No matter whatever the made up reason is. He is hiding you and that isnt ever good for you. Could it be that he doesnt really have friends? They are all drug users? Was it a made up party. The 2 nights a week after 1 year causes me to pause too. Thats not love is it. More of convenience. Unless its also the full 12 weeks (or whatever it is of summer hols too, I suppose that sounds more of a commitment) (i didnt read the full thread so not sure of the distance between you - it didnt sound the distance dictated only weekend get togethers).

I want to know what kind of job this fine man does.

LEAVE HIM, seriously, I am a therapist and these are red flags you can't ignore.

Good dick really isn't worth this.

"Hey, think it's time we called it a day, realised we are not sexually compatible, have a nice life x"

Hit him where it will hurt the most
Then block

Really! When you get promoted! Time to say goodbye. This has warning signs all over it.

Is the boyfriend a head teacher?

Regardless of the job/family/friends bit, I picked up on the fact that you've wondered why he would do this on his birthday.

I had an ex who would do this as part of his coercive control of me. It was birthdays, Chrismas eve, Valentine's day etc, always special occasions. He would create an arguement, or neg me, or just generally do something on purpose to make me feel shit about myself, like I was letting him down. I finally clicked that this must have been because that way he virtually guaranteed that for the special occasion I would be on a mission to make things to to him. So he could enjoy the occasion being pandered too, and my sole focus. His insecurities meant he couldn't chance me being only randomly nice to him, or him only having an 'average' day. He had to cause a falling out or make me feel small so he could be king for the day.

For me, that itself is more of an issue than WHAT the argument was about.

Hope you can be strong and alert to red flags and make sure your own self worth doesn't slip.

He has treated you in an appalling way,and you owe him nothing! If that is really how he see`s you then he does not deserve you,you need to walk away from him. There is something very odd going on here I think,if you have been seeing him for a year & you have never met his family or friends...he is either married already or is just a total twat head,he should be so proud of you & wanting to show you off to his family & friends. Just dump him right away,you deserve so much better!

It is true of the state sector as well as the independent sector that schools may well have "earmarked" someone for a post, but have to go through the motions.
I was the victim of this myself; a former colleague of mine alerted me to the fact that a vacancy for a music post was coming up at her new school, and I applied in good faith.
As it happened, the interview came up during my half-term holiday, which was different to hers (geographically close but a different LEA) so I didn't need to get a day off, however it meant abandoning a pleasant seaside break, as well as all the paperwork and presentation planning which goes into an interview.
I schlepped back into town, and went through all the procedures one would expect. It soon became clear to the rest of the shortlisted candidates, and to me, that one of our number was "the anointed one", (he had been, in effect, carrying out some of the duties as a current member of staff) and we were there to make up the numbers so that the school could be seen to be going through all the right procedures, before he was appointed - not a foregone conclusion, a fivegone conclusion.

Yes, but I think that many of the private schools adhere to the English term times.

Yep - if the bit about not being introduced until she’s got a promotion is made up because actually she already has the promotion, I’m not really sure what the point of the thread was.

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🌊🦈🌊

Ah Bless, he's incomplete without you and you'll fit in nicely when he moulds you just right.
You're complete without him, get rid !