He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

He doesn’t want you to meet his friends … I wonder if he’s keeping you away because they know something about him. Whatever move on. He sounds a nasty piece of work and at least you’ve found out now before wasting more time.

That’s disgusting behaviour but especially if you’ve been together a year, so are invested in it.

As others have said he doesn’t sound very nice.

"I ... want to balance being with my family. He said I could just get a nanny to raise them and focus on my career"

So your career has to march to his precise timetable? You are not advancing fast enough?
He wants you to be on a higher salary. And also for your job title to match the approval of his friends and acquaintances, to make you appear to be a "catch", as deputy head, you are not yet considered a catch. What's next Education Minister?
This is crazy.
Also.
I note his use of the word YOU, "you could just get a nanny"
The entire idea illustrates that he doesn't see himself as a parent. Shove the job off on the nanny, which you will pay for with your high flying career, which he insists you focus on.

You said that he's in the same sector. I guarantee you, as and when you get promoted to the same level as him, he will start being career competitive, he's that worried about appearances.

A prince.

Split up with him and that will be a promotion in itself!

Demote him to ex!

Oh just get a nanny and make sure you keep a big wig stressful job so I can show off..
maybe you want to stay home with your babies more- that’s not his decision! Bin him

You are not being unreasonable. But he’s wasting your time. Move on.

Wowsers- as someone coming from a family of teachers- being a Deputy head at 'younger than 44' is really pretty bloody impressive.

Please do not waste any more of your one and precious life on this man. He's not worthy of you.

What a catch he is! Throw him back. Better to be single than with this dick.

He told me he could possibly introduce me once I had a promotion at work
😱😱😱

Get rid of him. He's either future faking you or only wants your money.

Yes he is 44 now. Never had kids or married.
There's a reason for that. He's an unsupportive, unkind, shallow person. I repeat, get rid.

Don't stay with this guy. By the time he is ready for children (if that ever happens) then he will be 50. Why would you want to have children with 50 year old? Cut your losses and look for someone else. You sound a level headed kind person and frankly he sounds like a knob. You are worth more than this.

OP, I've told this story on Mumsnet before...

At work, one of my colleagues mentioned my "fiancé".

"Oh, he's not my fiancé. He's just my boyfriend."

"How long have you been going out?"

"Three years."

"Three years and you're not engaged? What's wrong with him?"

I married my colleague. He was older than me, but we had 27 years of marriage together before I lost him.

He was always proud to introduce me to other people.

Any way you like, just do it.

Although I wouldn't make any effort to be gentle.

‘Thank you for showing me who you are, however it’s clear we want different things and I deserve better, goodbye.’

Block.

Bloody hell! That is no way to behave. He's an absolute snot and doesn't deserve any more of your time.

What would you do if a friend told you this story?

Firstly he's done you a massive good turn .you know where you stand with him and what who he is.
Don't waste any more time and energy on him .
Promotion indeed

Bin him off, OP.

He's not the one.

And he clearly considers himself so far above you that his pride would be severely dented by you binning him off, which would do him a world of good.

Don’t waste anymore of your time. Move in. He’s not right for you on a number of levels.

when you do end it, do not settle fir him telling you he may change his mind about children as he’ll just waste more of your time.

just think what could possibly happen to your relationship if (god forbid) something happened in your place of employment or the field you work in that ended that is trickier career path. Would he drop you?

why haven’t you already, after a year, not met any friends? No family at all? Why had he been hiding you?

all red flags.

run.

When people show you who they are, believe them. Dump.

Many years ago I was with someone like that. We weren't in the same profession, in fact his was totally different. I wasn't allowed to meet his friends or even go to the same park he spent a lot of time at entertaining said friends. If we were meeting up I had to wait for him outside.
I wasn't allowed to meet his family.
He also never talked to me - whenever we were together he spent all his time talking to friends on the phone or showing off to people on the next table if we were out to lunch.
We basically wanted me around to fund his lifestyle and do his accounts for him.
I felt like shit for most of that relationship - which went on for far too long to be honest as my self esteem was at rock bottom.
I left the bastard.
Now a firm believer in if he doesn't introduce you to friends and family within a few months....walk away.

I hope you get it.

Still dump his ass, though.

Saying that he wants you to get a promotion before you meet his friends so he can "show you off" is just a different way of saying that he would be embarrassed to introduce you to them now. Embarrassed. Of you. Good enough to shag for now though, aren't you.

If you grabbed the next man who walks past you, there's a good chance you would do better with him.

What?! OP is "only" a Depute Head? OP, tell him to get to...

Every single day you remain 'with' him is another day away from your planned life of having kids.

I didn't even need to read the post, the headline was enough.

Dump him.

What?! I didn't pick up on that.

Run, OP, run!