He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

The thing is he may have kids and a wife as you haven't met his friends etc. People can do two lives

Unless he has anything of yours, then I would just dump him over text.

Seems pointless wasting a trip to see him.

Just tell him that it’s not working out and that it’s over.

I think he has another woman and you aren't just main woman as the awkwardness when meeting your friends not wanting you yo be part of his life. That sounds like he doesn't see you as gf is marriage material he's been lying to you. So yes dump him

He doesn’t want to be with you.

If it’s not the promotion he’ll find something else.

Dump him before he dumps you.

I don't think you should dump him in person, he doesn't deserve that. He deserves brutality, so dumping by text message will be just that.
If you dump him in person you will be giving him the opportunity to talk you out of it.
Be stern, you will show your cards and you will be in control, you can't be talked out of it as easily over text.
Then block his sorry ass and when you get promoted I'd make sure he found out 🤩

There is a Stacey Dooley quote on one of her programmes. She says of someone “ We aren’t on the same page, we are not in the same book , in fact I don’t think we are even in the same library.”

OP, I don’t think you and your sketchy friend are in the same library.

This

He's not the one for you.

He’s probably got someone else on the go to
his work people probably know
he’s not your person
get rid now

Omg. He just wants your job status on his arm and the use of your womb!

run OP, run, but just before you do tell him about the promotion!

good luck !

It's not you, it's him.

Thank your lucky stars you have escaped wasting any more of your precious time on this creep.

"This weekend we went for a meal for their birthday. I had made a big fuss for their day, organising a cake, gifts and took them to a fancy restaurant. I thought he enjoyed it. "

Confusing with the 'theirs' and 'them', sounds like more than one person and we know you are talking about one man.

He sounds pretty dreadful, wanting to keep you in a compartment which nobody else will see. What he says about career, etc, is ridiculous because you have a career to which you are committed and it is quite normal for you to want to have children before too long.

It doesn't sound as though this is the man for you, op. You can do better - with someone who is maybe not so old but definitely more 'grown up' than he. He doesn't want to settle down, some people are just like that.

OP, so many red flags…….honestly I could be here all day but you know deep down he is not your ‘person’. Save yourself a lot of grief & heartache and kick him to the kerb. You organised a lovely birthday for him & instead of being appreciative he criticised you! What you want & what he wants are poles apart and before you lose your best years get rid as this man is going to give you nothing but heartache & you are worth so much more.

He’s a cunt. Leave him - you deserve so much better.

Usually at that age, more common in men than women, red flags start waving. For women though it’s mostly at that age they’ve refused to settle for idiots in the past (I was one of those). When I was early to mid 30s I met a nice Irish man in London, dated him but he kept on how he hated his boss every time we met up, and not doing much about it. I ended it then but we reconnected and then the other stuff emerged, he disliked his mother, he’d been sent to boarding school (but had a good job because of this) and then I noticed he had a weed and alcohol addiction. He proposed to me and I said yes but then broke it off. I realised I couldn’t deal with all his issues.

Dump him in person definitely. Seriously! What a dud.

He’s a knob, get rid.
honeztky if he was genuinely into you , you would have met his friends and family within n the first month or so of dating, it’s been a year, he’s rude and ungrateful. Sack him off now and don’t waste another minute on him

Wow. What an utter cretin.

He already has a wife/partner.

I keep wondering whether he's in another relationship.

If he's 44 and doesn't want kids 'yet' he's never going to actually want kids. Sounds like he's future faking, but even if he wasn't this is a shitty half arse relationship and you deserve way better than a man who won't introduce you to his family and friends until you have the 'right' job. Your profession isn't shameful, but his behaviour is.

And this man is entrusted with young people's education - Jesus, you'd want him nowhere near your kids would you with his level of social disfunction.

So you being a deputy headteacher is not enough. Is he actually a head then? You’re not in the same school are you?

He has a very weird viewpoint and sounds horrible.

I was going to roll out 'he's just not that into you' but actually, the reason he's not that into you is that he's a materialistic immature twat.

You've been seeing each other for a year, yet you only meet twice a week, have no plans for a future, and he doesn't want to introduce you to his mates. He's not very interested in you, sorry. He enjoys the sex, perhaps your company, and probably the attention on his birthday, but that's it.

Don't waste any more time on this pathetic person.