He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

If he is a teacher and you are really a deputy head, it’s really odd that you don’t have any friends or acquaintances in common. Most people in teaching circles are gregarious and connected.
If it’s a true story then he probably has a wife and kids already. Do some digging with your colleagues in other schools and find out.

I would be suspicious not meeting any of his friends after a year. Really strange bin him.

Get rid of him now. Just send a text and block.

Then go to therapy and find out why you didn't know how to respond.

he hasnt introduced you to his friends because you are not 'the one' he's the type of guy who will future fake you for years then when its finally all over, will meet a woman and be married within 6 months.

How do you respond? By dumping him. What a jerk.

Oh and when you get your promotion, you need to make sure he something knows about it. Lol!
good luck

get rid of him. Just no!

Life is so, so short. Don't waste anymore of your time on this man.
Definitely dump him by text. You could tell him it could have worked if he had achieved promotion quicker. Or just tell him to do one. He isn't worth the effort of texting extra words.

If you’ve only been together for a year and only see each other twice a week, it still sounds very casual. I can see why he doesn’t want to get married or have kids yet.

Odd about not meeting his friends though!

What job do you do that he’s embarrassed about!?

You sound amazing and he absolutely does NOT deserve you.

LTB

Please promote him to the rubbish bin.

I think whether or not there's anyone else, he's a timewaster. Text could say 'after our conversation at dinner, it has become apparent that we are looking for different things so let's leave things here. I wish you had been clearer sooner. All the best'.

I know it doesn't seem like it but this is good news! He's told you what your future will be like with him.

He wants you to work harder and then have more money so he works less. He wants to dangle a marriage over your head so you do as he asks. If you have children he will then tell you he didn't want them. He will run off with someone else because she earns more or is more of a mug.

Honestly it's good news he's been transparent. You can now make an informed decision and get rid of him.

What a vile, cretinous, little man.

Find your anger, OP. And your sense of humour while you're at it. He deserves you laughing in his face x

You should be with someone who makes you feel safe, valued and loved. He's failed.

So yes just text, you're enough promotion or no promotion.

I find it worrying that you don't know what to do.

You tell him to get to fuck hen. That is what you do. Start to see yourself as the superior (to him) being that you are and dump his sorry ass. The man's a prick.

Text. He doesn't deserve better.

Next.

The red flags are waving all over the place

only seeing each other a couple of times a week
not meeting his friends and family
being 44 and not wanting kids for 5 years
dictating your career to you

OP are you absolutely certain you’ve not inadvertently became the OW? In any case run don’t walk.

I'd just send a text rather than have a face to face. He's a weird one. Meeting friends isn't conditional on job ranking. Whoever heard of such a thing?

I don't make a habit of inferring 'he's probably married' but he's not upfront and honest and truthfully, something about what you've described wouldn't surprise me if he was otherwise engaged.

Good luck with the promotion!!

He said I could just get a nanny to raise them and focus on my career

WTAF.

How awful.

Time to get rid of this arrogant, cruel man. He's wasted a year of your life. What a nasty person.

I'm sorry, OP. I suppose it's a good thing you found all this out before you bought a house and had children.

Red flags everywhere.

He doesn't get to make your career decisions for you.
He is also treating you as a shameful secret and only to be introduced to his circle of friends when he deems you good enough, as if you're some sort of a show dog.

This is very controlling behaviour

I think it's time you value yourself above this man. Tell him that you clearly want different things. He's not worthy of you.

I know 100% that my DH would gladly introduce me to anyone irrespective of what job title I held - or even if indeed I didn't work.

Is this guy the sort of person you want to align yourself with? He sounds like a massive twat.

Never had kids or married.

There's a reason for that. It's because he's not father or husband material. Surely you can see that?

Bin him off pronto.

The best thing is I am actually up for a promotion

Definitely bin him off before you actually get one. No person that loves you wants to wait until you get a promotion to introduce you to their friends. That’s bizarre. And if he truly thinks like that (although I suspect it’s an excuse), then it just makes him a complete cunt. Surely you are worth more than that? Someone who will love you and proudly introduce you to friends no matter your job role or level.