He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

You are clearly not on the same page- wanting you to get a promotion before he introduces you to his friends would be a huge red flag for me, it implies he is much more interested in career and image than relationships and home life. I think him wanting to wit for kids and you don't is a deal breaker on it's own without all the promotion bullshit- don't be upset he brought it up, better to know now so you can dump him and move on.

I thought this too. Also its trials and tribulations not tries - I know, I know grammer police but Id expect a dep head to be on top of this too.

He's looking to cause friction so you are the one he can blame when HE dumps you. Time to move on and find someone who respects you enough to not play games.

You bet this looser as other women on the go..This girl must think hard does she want too continue this relationship which sounds like it's not going anywhere or continue with the relationship and probably ends up pregnant and being a lone parent

Your wasting your time with this looser..I am sure you can do better,,,stop this relationship before you get hurt..

Binned post.

He's gone off the idea & is trying to engineer a break up that won't be his fault. Get rid of him, he's no good.

Tell him to fuck off . You know your worth and this isn’t it. DO NOT minimise and accept this.

Is the only correct answer

He sounds positively dreamy!

Immature. Disrespectful. Inconsiderate.

A real catch.

Throw him back to the lions in the water.

Sounds like an absolute arsehole and you do not want to spend any more of your life with someone like that.

You've made efforts for him, and it doesn't seem like he fully appreciates the time and effort you seem to have set aside for him. Sounds like you need to move on and find yourself a better bloke. Some things aren't worth waiting to change, unless you can change those things yourself. I'd move on and find someone who really values you as a person, not as a cabinet piece in his trophy collection.

Why on Earth would anyone be with a person like this. You will find a great bloke once you have cut loose the love strings you have with this guy.

Many years ago I was your bf. One of us should have broken off the relationship much earlier. There was no intentional deception.

Omg you must know already that this isn't acceptable. I would end this he sounds awful. He doesn't want you to meet his friends because he is essentially embarrassed?? 😳 It really is a no brainier. You don't date or consider having a family with someone who finds you embarrassing on a professional.... Or any other level really. what as ass hat 😂 go and be happy in a life that doesn't include him and never look back

Is it OK if a man (me!) replies?

This guy should like you for who you are now, not be trying to change you into someone else.
And what's all this crap about " showing you off"? Does he think you are some sort of possession?
Like his car, or his golf clubs!
I also think this is controlling behaviour, and if you persist in seeing him it will just intensify. Be yourself, be proud, and find a man worthy of you.

No, by text - he doesn't deserve better. Tell him you'll be focusing on your career, since you'll be getting your promotion.

If he behaves like this now, imagine what he'll be like if you were to marry. Send him packing, with a boot up the bum.

That’s amazing congratulations! (Sorry not read the whole thread so sorry if I’ve missed stuff but wanted to say…)

Still dump him. How dare he make you feel like that. A deputy headteacher is a very senior and demanding position that some people never get anywhere near. Kudos to you – you deserve somebody that is proud of you.

my husband is a teacher and I am in awe of anyone that works in education – from a TA to a head - I couldn’t do it. Nobody’s worth should be defined by their profession. You can do better. No surprise he has struggled to make a commitment in the past and he is 44 – he clearly has very odd ideas.

Go out with your friends and celebrate your promotion and your successful life. When he gets in touch and asks/gives opening to say what you have been up to recently - do. And then walk away without asking or agreeing to meet him.

Run! Trust me, it will always be like this. Moody, weird, moving goalposts....

Sounds like a total plum. Ditch him :-)

This kind of plonker isn't compatible with anybody. OP should do a runner now and save wasting anymore time on this moron. He has some serious issues she shouldn't want to get involved with for what it would likely bring on down the line.

Move on. He doesn't respect you and you aren't on the same page. Don't waste 5 years, just for him to dump you and go get someone else pregnant and marry them. Then you will regret all this time wasted on him. Don't spend a minute more with this guy.

Run. Run fast and don't look back

Maybe he doesn’t have friends? He wants different things. Move on. Someone does not have to do something wrong to break up.

Congratulations on your job offer, OP! I think you are better off without this walking red flag. I hope you agree.