He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

Have you dumped him yet?

I thought I made it obvious I didn't mean all people who have children in their 40s. Just men who are already showing signs of being controlling and immature would not adapt well to having children so late in life. Add to that the 5 year wait he would be 49 !

Dump and find a younger man who actually wants a family, because this man doesn't and he'll waste your remaining fertile years. There are many known health risks for a child with an older father so probably not wise to have kids with him anyway.

Just a text will be fine to end things. ‘I gather from our conversation yesterday that we want different things from a relationship. I wish you all the best but I would like to end it here. ‘

Get rid of this total arsehole and run in the other direction.

You think this is uncommon?

Oh, I have met this guy. Dated him even. It's all good, OP, you won't end up happily ever after with him. Just get rid now.

I don’t see how he could ever be attractive to you after this.

I would tell him straight. No, you don’t want to be a man so shallow, misguided and insecure that he thinks your job title is relevant when he introduces you to his friends. No, you don’t want to wait five years to start a family because at 44 he isn’t ready and probably never will be. No, you don’t want to be a man who expects to dictate to you what you do and how you manage your career or home life. No, you couldn’t find him attractive again now he’s made such a fool of himself.

You're not the only only one! And these threads often start with one little sentence that the man has said.....

In the bin! Now! You deserve so much better. He’s not going to change, it’ll only get worse. Get rid now and find someone who appreciates you for who you are not what they want you to be.

Tell him you got it and are ready to meet his friends!
See if he moves the goal posts.

If he doesn't, arrange the meeting then stand him up, dump his ass, then ring his mum and tell her she should have done a better job raising her son with better morals. Or any good morals she taught him evaporated!

Only you can make yourself feel terrible.

Hear what he is saying, see what he is doing and decide for yourself if he is what you want in a partner.
If you don’t like it, make a change.

Dont let his words and behavior dictate how you feel about yourself.

(If he won’t let you meet his friends … he is looking for someone else, or seeing someone else).

He sounds like a waste of space. And there are several red flags there too.

He is ashamed of you.

As well as your status and job title, does he also criticise your appearance, weight, accent, interests, education, dress sense, interests, friends etc?

You will never be quite good enough - in HIS eyes.

You're wasting time and love and attention and energy and hopes on this one. Chuck it back, it's a dud.

Listen to the lyrics of, "when a man loves a woman" (Michael Bolton)
Some guidelines there for us x

I’d smell a rat if I’d been dating someone for a year and they didn’t want to introduce me to their friends or were planning a party for their birthday they didn’t want me at. That’s someone who’s either not that into you or has something to hide: embarrassing friends/backstory or OW.

The promotion excuse is appalling. It surely is an excuse to put off/hide the real reason and an absolutely vacuous one at that! He doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends until you’ve done something for him to show off about??

What attracts you to him? You seem to want different things in life.

He sounds nice

However you want. He’s a horrible piece of shit, so frankly you’d be well within your rights to dump him via a billboard on your local high street, if you felt like it.

I know some amazing parents who started having children when one or both were in their 40s and were much better and calmer parents than a lot I knew who had them younger, so I disagree with this as a generalisation.

But I do agree in this particular instance this man is controlling, not marriage material and clearly doesn’t really want kids.

Love it!

He's ridiculous and a right twat! I think there's something a bit more to it tbh. This is not normal for a year long relationship. Dump him in anyway you like. A text will suffice.

Have you met his family or did he tell you that he told about you to his family?
If the latter then I bet both his friends and family are on the same page that "Maisie, his gf from high school" is likely to get a ring on it.

Big red flag

In the bin with this one!!

So he's married and you are his 'dirty' little secret.
44 is probably not his real age.
Please OP stop any interaction with this man for good. Text him yo say this is not working for you and do not engage in any further communication.
He is stringing you along because he likes the attention. He does not like or respect you enough to deserve any of your time.
Use your self respect and cut all ties with this man. At best he is weird. But I suspect it is much worse than that.