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Original poster

He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

818 replies

Burritowrap · 26/08/2024 10:41

I have been seeing someone for around a year now. We are exclusive and see each other twice a week or so.
He has been on a beach trip with my friends but seemed awkward but got over the initial awkwardness.
He talks about marriage, moving in together and has told his family about me.

This weekend we went for a meal for their birthday. I had made a big fuss for their day, organising a cake, gifts and took them to a fancy restaurant. I thought he enjoyed it.

He then was talking about some party he is planning to hold, and i said how great it would be to finally meet his friends. He went all sketchy and said how he didnt want that to happen just yet. I asked him why and he couldnt really answer me. He told me he could possibly introduce me once I had a promotion at work so then he could show off my role. (We are both in the same profession).

He then went on during the night saying how I am very full on and he doesnt like it - he wants to wait five years for kids (I don't) and that I should be focusing on my career. He was complaining how I want to get married and he wants to wait. He was the one who bought it all up.

I am so hurt by all of these things. I thought we were on the same page and he just has made me feel terrible. I feel like why bring all of this up on his birthday night... Im not sure how to respond but havent spoken to him since as I am just so upset and done.

OP posts:
HumanBurrito · 27/08/2024 18:14

From one burrito to another, seriously girl, save your sauce for someone who deserves it.

Lovedogwalking · 27/08/2024 18:10

Burritowrap · 27/08/2024 10:24

I have been formally offered the job.

Really pleased for you. Enjoy your life and just do well, and what you want to do.
I hope someone comes along who treats you well and with respect

Mumof32017 · 27/08/2024 18:07

Fuck him off right now!

Greenshed · 27/08/2024 18:05

Well, I’m so pleased to read that you have dumped him - stick to your guns, and don’t give him any chance to wheedle his way back.

I suspect, as many other posters do, that he’s living a double life - keeping you away from his friends and family for a whole year is just down right odd. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if he has a wife/partner and children tucked away somewhere. Although, as has already been mentioned, the grapevine in education is very strong - there’s always someone, somewhere, who knows something about another person who works in schools, so I’m pretty certain that if he is in education too, someone, somewhere, will know something about him that he thinks he’s kept to himself.

Anyway, I wish you well for the future. Onwards and upwards, as they say.

dcthatsme · 27/08/2024 18:04

Time to part company. Please do it asap and give yourself the chance to meet someone who wants children and loved and respects you as you are.

beaconhead · 27/08/2024 18:03

He is a dick. LTB

LookItsMeAgain · 27/08/2024 18:01

I am so pleased for you @Burritowrap. Things are looking up for you!

Use this time to get yourself settled into your new role and do it without him being around.

Onwards and upwards!

McWoman · 27/08/2024 17:59

Ditch him. He should be proud of you for what you are, not what he wants you to become.

Oldster1933 · 27/08/2024 17:58

Good night Vienna.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 27/08/2024 17:57

What an arsehole

Mummerley4 · 27/08/2024 17:56

Im sorry its taken you so long to realise what a nasty person he is. If one of your friends told you this what would you say? A year is a long time in a so called relationship and never to have met his friends and feel awkward with your friends. I hope the messages you have read here have given you the answer you need. you are not his primary one, you are wasting your life on someone who makes you feel bad and sad. Move on and now. No more contact. No more being available for when it suits him. Good luck.

Skyelils · 27/08/2024 17:55

Kick him to the kerb it will only get worse

AugustDieSheMustTheAutumnWindsBlowChillyAndCold · 27/08/2024 17:51

Burritowrap · 27/08/2024 10:24

I have been formally offered the job.

Congratulations!

TreacleMoon · 27/08/2024 17:50

Ultimately it seems like you need to upgrade your boyfriend.

It's upsetting to hear but will save you a lot of heartache in the end, you really do deserve much better.

Palacelife · 27/08/2024 17:49

Get rid of him, he doesn’t see you as a person and never will.

MarvellousMonsters · 27/08/2024 17:47

Burritowrap · 27/08/2024 10:24

I have been formally offered the job.

Brilliant!

Get settled in your new role and then start thinking about children.

He was vile, you really are so much better off without him. As are your future children.

Orangewinegum8481 · 27/08/2024 17:45

Burritowrap · 27/08/2024 10:24

I have been formally offered the job.

This is the universe! Take the job and dump him! Maybe you could date one of his friends 🤭

Snowflakeslayer · 27/08/2024 17:42

Burritowrap · 26/08/2024 10:41

I have been seeing someone for around a year now. We are exclusive and see each other twice a week or so.
He has been on a beach trip with my friends but seemed awkward but got over the initial awkwardness.
He talks about marriage, moving in together and has told his family about me.

This weekend we went for a meal for their birthday. I had made a big fuss for their day, organising a cake, gifts and took them to a fancy restaurant. I thought he enjoyed it.

He then was talking about some party he is planning to hold, and i said how great it would be to finally meet his friends. He went all sketchy and said how he didnt want that to happen just yet. I asked him why and he couldnt really answer me. He told me he could possibly introduce me once I had a promotion at work so then he could show off my role. (We are both in the same profession).

He then went on during the night saying how I am very full on and he doesnt like it - he wants to wait five years for kids (I don't) and that I should be focusing on my career. He was complaining how I want to get married and he wants to wait. He was the one who bought it all up.

I am so hurt by all of these things. I thought we were on the same page and he just has made me feel terrible. I feel like why bring all of this up on his birthday night... Im not sure how to respond but havent spoken to him since as I am just so upset and done.

Ditch, sounds like an egotistical man-child. That controlling attitude will only get worse. Big avoid.

Cazz1953 · 27/08/2024 17:41

Run! He’s bad news!

ValsCupcakes · 27/08/2024 15:39

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 27/08/2024 14:21

Yes. Who would have thought that private schools would be so happy to just wing it when appointing a new head, despite the fact that the senior leadership has a significant impact on their brand/PR, and therefore the fees the parents are willing to pay?

The OP has seemingly been offered the job without having to go through any application process, and then given several months to decide whether she fancies it. And this appears to be on the basis that "the logical next step for a Deputy is Head".

Edited

And on Bank Holiday Monday too!

Jaxhog · 27/08/2024 15:29

Accept the job and then dump him. Tell him that you now out of his league.

viques · 27/08/2024 14:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

B1anche · 27/08/2024 14:39

Shinyandnew1 · 27/08/2024 14:29

On a Bank Holiday Monday, as well!

Show quote history

For God's sake why do people have to get sidetracked like this? The point of the post was that the boyfriend is being an arse. The exact job etc is irrelevant. Most people change some details when posting so as not to be identified.

Shinyandnew1 · 27/08/2024 14:29

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 27/08/2024 14:21

Yes. Who would have thought that private schools would be so happy to just wing it when appointing a new head, despite the fact that the senior leadership has a significant impact on their brand/PR, and therefore the fees the parents are willing to pay?

The OP has seemingly been offered the job without having to go through any application process, and then given several months to decide whether she fancies it. And this appears to be on the basis that "the logical next step for a Deputy is Head".

Edited

On a Bank Holiday Monday, as well!

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 27/08/2024 14:21

Yes. Who would have thought that private schools would be so happy to just wing it when appointing a new head, despite the fact that the senior leadership has a significant impact on their brand/PR, and therefore the fees the parents are willing to pay?

The OP has seemingly been offered the job without having to go through any application process, and then given several months to decide whether she fancies it. And this appears to be on the basis that "the logical next step for a Deputy is Head".