He says I can't meet his friends until I get a promotion??

You deserve better,,follow him and when he sees his friends pop out of the bush and tell them who you are,I think he gets someone else on the gland Ur 2ed best..giving him the boot would be the best decision you will ever make,but follow him first,,

Incoming Narcissist... RUN!!!!
(But you probably won't. Good luck)

Why the "mixed messages"? And why all this shit re promotion? I'm quite sure his friends wouldn't give a flying fuck one way or the other. It also seems everything has to be on HIS terms. TBH I think you'd be better off without him. Me, I'd have kicked him into touch a looong time ago.

Hes trying to get you to dump him I'd say

I feel so sad for you. You must have ignored so many red flags to get to this stage.
walk away now with your head held high and tell him you’ve given him enough of your precious time. Be free to find someone who is proud of who you are NOW not after promotion! I bet if you ask your friends they can’t stand him.

I'm sure others have said this, but I'd get the promotion and then dump him. What an arse.

This guy is not for you. What are you, your job!? What a joke!!!

It always surprises me (a little, at least) when I read a post like this. If you re-read what you had written before posting, you would have seen that the solution to your problem does not require an answer from others (though you might want confirmation from others who don't have to deal with the fallout).

Take it from a guy, this guy's a dick. Don't ask strangers what to do, just do it.

Sorry for the blunt reply.

This bloke is definitely hiding something. My guess is that he's been banging someone else, who will be at this party.
Even if he's not, there's something not right. You cannot trust this man.

The promotion thing reminds of a film i saw years ago - Legally Blonde with Reese Witherspoon. Girl gets dumped as not "career" enough, then joins his profession and excels, sees him for what he is and no longer wants him.

I remember that song! I always thought the last line was "As I have a wife of my own"

The sentiment certainly rings true in OP's case; if the promotion was the goalpost, once she reached it, then it'd be another thing she'd need to do to 'earn' the privilege of meeting his friends.

I love this saying. If they want to they will. He is making excuses it seems for very basic relationship issues. You can't meet his friends until you get a promotion. Is he embarrassed of you? When you get the promotion will it be oh you can meet them at the wedding? Are these friends real? Or made up so you think he has them? Sounds like from your information that he isn't all that interested in you. In which case your wasting your precious time on someone that will never be able to give you what you want.

If you want all these things within the next 3 years it might be better to find someone that has the same goals in mind. Your not living together yet. So he could be saying all these things just to scratch an itch twice a week.

This is your last post on here, @Burritowrap

What’s happened? Did you accept the job? Did you dump the boyfriend?

He’s using you. Never waste your time on someone who won’t introduce you to friends.

Sounds like he has no interest in marriage and children, plus he’s embarrassed about your level of job at work? It shouldn’t matter if you are unemployed, that is not a reason to not introduce you to friends.

You are going to have to constantly be reaching a new bar with him.

I’m sorry but he sounds like a waste of time. If you desire marriage and children, sounds like you need a different partner.

He sounds like a grade A twat. Get rid and move on.

Dump him. Nothing more to say.

This is all very good advice. I think he is Narcissistic because of how he led you on then started walking backwards. It's gaslighting and speaks of Narcissistic behaviour. Please beware!

So he basically engineered it so that only you and he would celebrate his birthday. He was happy for you to organise it but didn't want anyone to know how old he was ? Don't your friends know your age ? I know mine do. Are you sure he actually has friends ? There's something really wrong here. He clearly has something to hide and you've wasted enough time. You deserve better. If he doesn't value you, value yourself and find someone else who will too. Good luck. 🙂

get rid of him ASAP. No questions, no nothing, row him out.... 50 ways to leave your lover and all that. He sounds really odd. Not to meet your friends for a year??! blaming a promotion? can't be true. If it is... then even odder.

Putting it bluntly, if this is how odd he is now, what happens if you have a kid with a serious illness, what if / when one of you gets ill and needs caring for? How are you going to cope with the bereavements, challenges, health issues that hit us all one day? He does NOT sound like he's on your team.

Good riddance.

either meet his friends without him or dump him . . . or both; no one has the right to upset you in such a callous way, bless you.

You must be able to read the signs surely. He is a control freak and his behaviour is likely to turn abusive emotionally.Please leave the relationship and find someone who loves you as you are and truly wants you in all aspects of his life. This guy doesn’t want that.

HUGE red flag this. That, and I really don't think he's that into you TBH, sorry. Ditch him before it's too late, you deserve to be with someone who values you for who you are now.

LTB.

It’s an informal discussion board, she’s not sending a formal email or creating an online resource for her class.

It’s easy enough to make typos and spellings errors if you don’t proofread. I mean there’s errors in your post too - you misspelt grammar as “grammer”. And yeah, I make mistakes on here all the time too!

Tell him that you have thought about what he said about concentrating on your career and that he is right. Say you will concentrate on your career until the right man comes along. Then say goodbye to this controlling snob.