Moral dilemma. What would you do?

My perspective is that they are all too blame.

One got too drunk and randomly got off the tube.

The other one appears (from a third hand report of an overheard phone call) to have also randomly got off the tube.

The other one didn't hang around and went home.

In my opinion the soberest two should have stuck together to look for drunk friend. If I had been the one left in the tube I wouldn't have got on the train home. I would have gone to the mainline station, where I was supposed to be going, and where the other two would eventually have to end up, and I would have got a coffee, stayed put and tried to contact them from there.

I'm not sure what my reaction would have been.

By that age, bar the person having been spiked, at what point should I become responsible for another person's actions (ie, the aftermath of them getting themselves blind drunk). I'd argue that getting that drunk at someone else's birthday quite selfish since the birthday person was effectively abandoned by her friends on the train as a result.

All considered, I'd probably have gone about finding my drunk friends, for their own safety, but by the time we got home, they wouldn't be friends anymore.

I've been the person 'E' before, maybe only once and luckily never found myself in this predicament. Sometimes you misjudge how much you're drinking or you've not had enough to eat beforehand etc. It happens and doesn't make you a bad person, especially if it only happens once or twice. I've also been the person looking after the shitfaced one and yes, you should make sure they're ok. Admittedly if someone is doing it ALL the time then it would become very wearing. Ultimately, if you're out with someone who becomes paralytic then yes, don't leave them alone.

I'd have been livid with them for ruining my night but no way I'd have left them really hammered on their own. Anything could happen if she's drunk, vulnerable, lost and alone. I understand fully why you'd be frustrated if it was a regular occurrence but if it kept happening then I'd only be seeing friend E in settings that don't involve alcohol so I wouldn't be in that situation again anyway.

I wouldn’t have gotten the train without my friends, I was raped in a situation where I was out with a group of people and we all got separated leaving me to make my own way home. I can be a bit neurotic now when I’m out about making sure nobody is splitting off from the group and would have found it super stressful to be in the position of Friend A where one friend is missing and the other is trying to get the train back home on her own. There’s safety in numbers and I think Birthday Girl should have stuck with Friend A and they should have both gotten off at the next stop and gotten the tube back to the station where Friend A got off asap. I do totally agree it is annoying having to babysit friends who are far too drunk, it would be reasonable for Birthday Girl to be furious in a situation where she ended up missing her train and never go out drinking with those friends again but I still think friends shouldn’t leave other friends on their own when drink is involved.

I'd have sat there thinking "these women are old enough to sort themselves out."

Honestly, you hear the strangest conversations on trains. Last summer, I was also on my way back out of London, and a M/F couple in the mid-late 20s were sat behind me. He was absolutely BERATING her because his football team lost, and she was having a go at him because apparently he slept with her friend?! Utterly bizarre. They got off together at their station in the end, but it made me reflect on how complicated other peoples lives seem to be!

The one who was sick and not answering her phone could have had her drink spiked.
Some lads do it to older women for a laugh.
Most women in their 30/40s know their limits, so it is very unusual for a woman of that maturity to have gotten hammered to point of passing out and sick.

Blimey...we all judge people and wonder what we would do in certain situations which is all the OP was doing.

We were in our late 20s working for the same company. We both moved away, got married, had kids. She divorced, must have started drinking seriously and died during covid (her kids had opted to stay with her ex). Really sad for the kids…

If this was my friend, and this kind of behaviour was unusual - which we'll never in this situation - I'd assume they had been potentially spiked and would not have left them along and vulnerable.

However, the fact is, you don't know the previous history or behaviour patterns of anyone involved. Maybe birthday girl is forever left to be Mother Hen and for once, on her birthday, she wanted things to go smoothly but A & E ruined it all again, meaning she has a right to be pissed off. Maybe she's going home promising to end these friendships because it's always drama and more hassle than its worth.

Ultimately, there it too many factors to give a clear "I'd do X" in this situation, because we don't know what the situation is!

In the situation I'm not sure what else birthday girl could have done?

Friend A was never going to find friend E since they got off at different stops.

Birthday girl wasnt really going to be able to do anything since she was nowhere near where friend E was when A was closer and couldnt find her

Sounds like friend E ruined the night with her inability to hold her drink.

Yes, everyone should have probably got off when E did but after they didn't, other than ringing whoever E lives with when they couldnt find her and shifting responsibility onto them (if she did live with anyone) or ringing the police, who would not have done anything yet, after A searching for her and not finding her, what else could birthday girl have done?

@sweetgingercat good grief how old was she?

They should have all stuck together. Unless, however, friend E has repeated form for doing this sort of thing and has become a liability. It may be that this happens again and again to ruin birthday girl's night out, friend A is an enabler and birthday girl is utterly at her rope's end with it all.

I have had a friend like this. I didn't ever completely abandon her (certainly not in a place strange to her), but I got utterly tired of having to mediate drunken fights that she'd caused. Pacify stricken/furious boyfriends/shags/fiances, reassure her parents, stand around while she phoned various people and avert my eyes as she puked. In the end I dropped the rope and refused to go out with her anymore. She had been a good friend when we were at school but it was just too high-maintenance and occasionally dangerous. All efforts to help or get counselling or support were refused and often met with rage, even when sober. There was literally nothing I could do, save repeatedly being the bystander/safety-net in the nonsense. She ultimately jilted a lovely fiance days before their wedding and disappeared to the USA. I had to tell him. I've recently heard from her again, but she is so far down the Donald Trump/MAGA rabbit-hole that it sickens me. Sad, really. She wants me to go and stay with her for a holiday. Haha - no.

Yes I had a friend like this who would drink until she was incapable of walking. It became infuriating and eventually impossible to go out with her. Later she got arrested for being drunk and incapable. She is dead now, having drunk herself to death.

Leaving her alone drunk like that would have be unthinkable, I never did, and looking back over the years I wish I had understood and done so much more.

At uni I'd have stayed with them but not as a 30 something. Couldn't be arsed and I'd expect someone who's been getting pissed for that long to manage getting home by themselves.

I find drunkeness absolutely horrifying and repulsive and avoid drunk people like the plague. If it was a one-off I probably would have force myself to stay with her but I would never go out with her again if any alcohol was available, and I'd expect a massive apology. Tbh, if there was another friend present as well I can imagine leaving it to them to deal with.

They all should have got off at the same time without question.

Friend E shouldn't have jumped off the train as throwing up in a station isn't any better than throwing up on a train. Friend A shouldn't have got off at the next stop because she has no idea when Friend E has gone. Birthday girl has basically been abandoned by both of them and has been left to go home alone herself.

How on earth did you get all of that information from overhearing a conversation? Was she relaying the whole story to someone?

I think the chance of them finding the drunk woman in this scenario was small. She could have decided to do any number of things - go out of the station to find food/drink/bus/cab. She could’ve hopped on the next train. She could’ve fallen asleep somewhere. I mean, I honestly wouldn’t know where to begin if the friend hasn’t text or called and isn’t answering phone. They are all adults and I’m kind of on the abandoner’s side. But then I’ve not got any friends who would get that drunk on a night at the theatre. Or anywhere.

I'm always the one that makes sure everyone gets home. I never leave anyone to fend for themselves, especially when wasted.