Moral dilemma. What would you do?

I am tired of looking after drunk people. We aren't 19 anymore. Learn your limits and don't get so trashed you are throwing up on train rides and disappearing from the group.

I won't be friends with people like that anymore and I won't ruin my days/nights caring for people.

This is all entirely in their (the drunks) control and it's bloody annoying.

A once in a blue moon situation I would be okay, but more than that is friendship ending for me.
I imagine this woman's friends are probably at their limit also.

I got involved in this sort of situation 30 years ago - before mobile phones.

My wife and were taking a break in London and we met up with an old school friend of mine for a drink in Hammersmith.

We got a late tube back to central London and all of a sudden my friend - who was very drunk - just got up and got off at a random station before we could say or do anything. (We were pretty drunk too...)

We got off at the next station and went back to the one he got off at. No sign of him in the station, no sign outside either. By the time we'd finished looking for him the last tube had gone and the station was closing.

We were stranded and ended up paying a fortune to get back by taxi.

It turned out that he'd felt like he was about to throw up on the train and got off without saying anything. No sooner had he got off the train than he immeditely felt better, so he got back on the next train and our paths crossed between the two stations!

Granted a 20 - 30 year old drunken male on his own is not as vulnerable as a woman, but I'm not sure that there is a right thing to do in a situation like this. Anything you do might make things worse. It's like the train conundrum facing Sherlock Holmes in "The Final Problem". Should he get off the train or shouldn't he?

I think the only thing that the two (more?) sober friends could have done was to stop it happening in the first place by holding on to (ie restraining) their drunk friend while they were on the train and physically prevent her from getting off. If she throws up on the train or all over herself that's what happens...

(Years of experience have taught me to carry a small pedal bin liner or similar along with me for exactly this situation)

I wouldn't get so drunk that I'm passing out at someone else's birthday celebration, then drink more so I had fo randomly jump off the train to be sick.

Wait, who am I supposed to imagine I am in this scenario?

This - and then probably not stay friends with them again after this. Can't be doing with that kind of drunken drama

It depends. At the ripe age of late 30s early 40s, I wouldn't expect my friends to get that kind of drunk, especially on my birthday. Secondly, who knows what birthday girl has planned tomorrow, she might need to get home and not have 3 hours to fuck about finding another grown woman who decided to jump off the train without battery and leaving her friends. Sounds like the night hadn't gone to plan but this also might be the one night birthday girl gets off to enjoy herself and she's already planning her cup of tea and jumping in bed. These friends might do this stuff all the time and it gets tedious. I may have got off myself but I also might not have depending on context. Certainly wouldn't judge

even if was bday girl and cheesed off at the ending of the night there’s no way I would have left any friend alone in that state. We’ve all been there at some point in our lives (well, most of us). Just take care of each other whilst out - isn’t it unwritten girl code?

If you're that bothered tbh you shouldn't get drunk and broadcast your business in public 🤷‍♀️

i would feel awful if she was kidnapped/raped/ walked onto the tracks etc.

even if i hated someone i would not leave a drunk woman alone at night at a station. no way.

I think having reached the railway station, with no further contact from friends and little idea where they might be by that point, that friend did the right thing in getting the train.

But what I think would have been better is for the two less-drunk friends to have got off their tube at the next stop and gone back to where first friend got off. If she wasn't still on the platform, they should have contacted station staff to see if anyone saw her (and perhaps persuade them to look on CCTV) - she might have boarded the next (correct) train, or got confused and gone the wrong way on same line, got on a different line, or wandered out of the station. She'd only have a few minutes start on the friends, so would hopefully be discoverable.

I don't think you should leave someone that drunk wandering round London.

But if she's not at the station where she got off, and station staff can't help, then the only thing to do is head back home, with fingers firmly crossed that she does make it back. Because she could have gone anywhere and you can't scour London. If she has not reappeared the next morning (in person at home, or by phone) then the question becomes whether you report her as a missing person

Women should stick together in these situations. All should have got off the tube.

I would not continue a friendship with a friend that left me when i was drunk in a different city.

I'm afraid if I was bday girl I would have jumped off with second friend to find the drunk wanderer. Got them both to station, on train home and when they're both sober told them both to fuck off and never speak to me again.

I'd be pissed about them being such a show at my birthday when I'm not drinking but I couldn't have it on my conscience if something happened to them.

Friend A & E are grown women and should know better.
Birthday girl has already had her night out ruined without traipsing around London looking for her silly friends.

It depends.
Am I rushing home to pay the babysitter? Do I have work in the morning? Is this a pattern for these friends? Have they ruined my bday outing with their drunkenness and me having to be the caretaker?

I’d like to think for a very good friend I’d get off the train with them. Having said that, if I stayed on the train I don’t see it as me abandoning them - we were all on the agreed train home. They chose to leave, and in fact, ultimately abandoned me on the train. If this is their modus operandi then I think I’d try to make contact but ultimately get myself home.

yes, i'd have done that too.

Assuming it was early enough that i had mutiple trains leaving my end tube point.

I have as well, got off the tube to be sick (too rich food plus some drink). You are told to get off the tube if feeling unwell, not stay on. So leaping off to be sick makes sense.

Assistants in Tube X can contact Assistants at Tube Y if needed - to check if someone is there/needs help? (there are big "need assistance" phones/microphones on most central platforms in zone 1)

I think you are missing context. If it was a one off and out of character I would definitely have got off with friend e initially. However, I have had a friend who regularly got repeatedly smashed and relied on me to be her babysitter to get her home. Even her fucking siblings would just leave me to it. So one night after the usual routine I just left her to it and never put myself in the position of being her caretaker again.

Considering her nonchalant attitude I would suspect the friends have done this before. But without knowing I don't think you can judge her decision.

*Friend A keeps ringing her in tears saying she can’t find Friend E and birthday girl tells her to leave her and get the train as Friend E will eventually sober up and get the train herself.

They also both kept trying to call Friend E and it was going to voicemail*

So she spoke to friend A? Which means presumably friend A got overground at some point to make the call/s?

What happened to friend A????

I like to think I'd have looked for my friend BUT if I was also steaming then my judgement would be massively impaired to the point I might shrug it off. Not because I don't really care but drunk me might not be as bothered as sober me would.

If someone willingly gets themselves into such a state they vomit, then I'd leave them. I don't see that's my circus or my monkeys. You can spend ages helping such people and they never learn. My views may be come from the fact that my dad was an alcoholic and you can spend a lot of time, money and effort on those people for nothing.

As a one off I would 💯 try and find friend until the last train

if they both had form I’d probably do as train lady did… make my own way home and leave them to it…

Well maybe she’d just had enough of their shit.

I would have jumped off with my friend to be sick. Been drummed into me for years that you stuck together.