I don't get it? I need help understanding 😔

For anyone that finds it confusing, I think I’ve just about got the gist. A woman went on holiday with her family to HER parents holiday home. Her mum and dad went too, given that they own the property. Nightmare sister in-law has kicked off because she wasn’t invited.

In my experience the daughters will ALWAYS trump daughter in laws.

So they rented their place out for the summer and it was to your SiLs friend.

SiL has joined said friend and the grandparents have gone because they have a little annex down the hill

Im sorry but they are allowed to do that. You feel hard done by but really it’s up to them as it’s their property

This is all rather bizarre (assuming I have understood it in the first place).

SIL said she and her family and some friends were going to holiday together this year rather than going with OPs family. OP and her family couldn’t really afford it but have managed to scrape together enough to go later in the year.
OP is upset because she didn’t realise her PIL were going to be in the other house (two house holiday home) and would see SIL and family while they were there.
OP feels her son will be sad to have missed SIL/cousins holiday and that they weren’t transparent about their holiday plans. OP feels furious.

I don’t think anyone has done anything wrong.

"My SIL declared a friend's holiday family this year rather than the usual family one"

I can't work out what that means.

What?
What's "friend holiday" ?
What is your problem?

I know the OP hasn't been back but can someone explain what the hell this is about? I haven't a clue, I can't make head nor tail of it 😵‍💫🫤

SIL obviously told a bit of a white lie to get a holiday on her own with her parents.
Maybe she is
the golden child or maybe she just wanted a holiday with them without your family.
Yes hurtful to find out and annoying as you use it as your big family holiday,pool affordable etc.
Think you need to do your own thing a few holidays and accept that they wanted to see SIL more than your family.
Hurtful for your kids I get that but I would just leave them to it, your DH sounds like he's used to the favoritism.

Hopefully OP is reading, even if the posts may be difficult for her to accept. I find it concerning that the 5 yr old’s best friends are cousins that he only sees on holiday. He should have a best friend from school or the neighborhood. Someone he spends time with regularly.

I read another of OP’s posts where she is seeking help for some serious behavioral problems from the 5 yr old. This may explain why his “best friends” are children he rarely sees and cousins who are forced into the relationship with him.

I have a feeling that the cousins don’t want their vacation ruined by OP’s child. Even if the bad behaviors have been stopped, the cousins may not enjoy the relationship as much as OP’s kids.

I understand OP feels disappointed at not having the usual family holiday with her inlaws and not being able to afford to visit an all inclusive resort near her own relatives. Feeling sad that her family is missing out on time with the grandparents is reasonable. Anger, rage, fury are not.

There is something wrong in this reaction. I wonder if OP doesn’t have other instances of unreasonable anger. This might be where her DS gets his violent reactions. Therapy for OP, her DH and her DC would probably be a good idea to help them learn appropriate responses to disappointments.

Would like to comment but can't make head nor tail of the original post 🤔
If you come back OP maybe try again

Your post is impossible to follow.

Suddenly, everything is clearer.

I was going to say this thread is over as OP isn't returning

OP has form for posting once then buggering off.

And a year ago was posting about her near 5 yo DS's bad behaviour. Unpredictable, destructive, bites, throws, hits and kicks. It renders him (in her own words) "unpunishable".

Might it be that the chaos/intensity and the dynamic OP beings means that PIL and SIL are not as content to play "happy families" as she is?

I have no idea what you’re talking about. Your thread is so difficult to follow.

Que?

@ActualChips

its one thing to be a bit confused it's quite another to say some of the bitchy things people posted. I don't have the time or inclination to go back through the thread to list them all for you.

i think they were bitchy, you don't, fine I'm happy to have my opinion & you have yours.

So, you weren’t planning to do the family holiday anyway because you wanted to see your side of the family (very reasonable)? Were you planning on banning them from doing anything together to ensure your children didn’t miss out in these circumstances too?

Your holiday hasn’t gone ahead, the rest of the world doesn’t have to come to a standstill and alter their plans for this. You still have a wonderful holiday planned at your ILs house, but I feel like if it was my house and I read this drivel, you wouldn’t be using it again!

@TwinklyAmberOrca I can't tell if the OP is going to PIL in September or somewhere else abroad??

This is your PIL’s house, not yours.

I don’t see that they have lied at all either!

As I understand it, the in-laws have been going away together as a family for the past 30+ years. Since you have been on the scene, they have invited you to join them.
This year, they decided to invite friends to join them instead. That is 100% their right, they have done nothing wrong, they do not owe you a holiday. You have no right at all to be angry.

And all the ‘lioness’ nonsense is ridiculous. If the holiday is mentioned to your son by his cousin (unlikely if they live 300miles away, presumably it will be old news by the time they meet again) just say “Darling, we can’t go with granny and grandad every year, sometimes it’s nice to have holidays separately, there are lots of ways to have holdiays”. End of!

Yeah, this. I'm not sure I would have told you about it, either. No need for this reaction because they went on holiday. Perhaps the cousins wanted to enjoy some time with their grandparents alone. Completely normal.

It's worth thinking about whether they decided not to tell you because you would have gone 'apeshit' on them and whether you often overreact. This seems so extreme.

Bit rude to call replies 'bitchy' when you then go on to write that you're unclear and confused too.
OP could have chosen to write clearly, I gave up at the first bit where a load of peoples ages were being listed.

Clearly just written to be as confusing as possible. It's tedious how posts like this pop up during the night.

Please explain how you went 'APE SHIT'??

the OP was fine with that until she discovered that she couldn’t afford her own AI AND that her PILs were also at their holiday property, where they have a separate house on the grounds, because they’d had a cancellation (presumably the rent it out) and decided on impulse to go early?

I think this is the crux of it