Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don't get it? I need help understanding 😔

234 replies

KEvLA · 26/08/2024 03:01

Let me introduce myself.
I have a 9m old DS, 3 year old DD and a 5yr old DS. I have a lovely relationship with my inlaws.
My SIL had an 8yr old DS, a 5yr old DS- and a 2yr old. My kids have an absolutely beautiful relationship with their cousins - specially my 5yr DS - he sees them as best friends and can't wait to see them whenever we meet up and we all have a fab time. He doesn't stop talking about my husband's family, even living so far away lol
My PIL have a house abroad, it's been theirs since the 90s so all their second home.

My SIL declared a friend's holiday family this year rather than the usual family one ( booked early for August, which suited us brilliant as my family lived abroad in another country so we were going to look at all inclusive.
Wow the prices! My husband was gutted that there wasn't going to be a holiday abroad, to which I replied - next year we'll go when we have more money. I'm desperate to see my auntie and also equally as gutted too.

So my husband was determined to go for a holiday abroad and even though it was booked out for the summer, early September was available and my kids (their second home abroad) would still be excited as hell as they have a pool which is purely theirs to use for a whole week!
I randomly see that my FIL is in my SIL Facebook photos.. to which I was like, ok he's the sort of impulsive person who'd pop over for the weekend. I thought we could maybe ask him to the same with us too. THEN I find out both my PIL are there (this is their house and they have a little house at the bottom)
On a usual family holiday the kids are up and down to see them whenever they want and they come up for tea time and drinks with us all

So on finding this out I went ape shit - my children live 300m away from their grandparents so it was always lovely for them to spend a few days/week or so with their grandparents ( they make little effort at home) but when. They're there, wow they're fantastic!! I'm in awe.
Their other grandchildren live 15m down the road so see them whenever they want, totally normal as this is one of those child/parent close relationship).
They brush it off when we asked about it as my SIL had said - friend holiday.
They turn on my husband telling him he's unjustified by taking about it, and told him he was guilt tripping them about it. I'm livid for him when he basically said that this was "his life". Never seen it so evidently, wow.
So they're there having a mini family holiday to which my Husband was told by his BIL
They don't really come up but I saw that - they go up for drinks and food - as the do on a usual family holiday SMH.
They had a cancellation so they went early - my MIL said this.

Mother mode - *My children who adore and don't see their Grandparents a lot but, as I said - brilliant hands affectionate - they all snuggle up with eachother in the morning 💞.
They don't have any summer holiday abroad, even 2 days!! They're friends kid even does SMh. with them. They're all over there on their mini family holiday, justifying it all turned on my husband and my kids who live 300m away - perfect opportunity to spend time with their grandparents are not included, however last minute the flight was and however much they try to justify it.

I AM NOT EXAGGERATING WHEN I SAY I AM LIVID!

I've written this on here because it's eating me up and it's festering me inside I don't want to put all this on my husband when he's also feeling gutted. We all know that children talk and this will inevitably be brought up (same with another instance).

AIBU?

As we know us women go into lioness mode and our children are our world and I'll do anything to protect their feelings. My son is so intelligent , he'll be confused, upset or who knows?
I understand this is IF it's brought up by his cousin as I certainly won't!

OP posts:
McSpoot · 26/08/2024 03:21

I'm so confused but most of the post but one question - is the "m" in 300m/15m metres or miles? Either way, even 300 miles is not "living so far away"

WhingeInTheWillows · 26/08/2024 03:19

Are you saying your SIL told you they were going on holiday with friends but instead went with the PIL? If so they’re all entitled to go where they want with who they want but if they lied then that’s awful. I’d be upset about that.

Quirkyme · 26/08/2024 03:18

Go to bed and book a holiday with your husband and children.

Jesus Christ.

Singleandproud · 26/08/2024 03:16

What is the actual problem?
Your In laws decided to go on the family holiday without you when they are meant to be away with friends?

The friends and in laws went away to the holiday home and parents in law joined them.

You can't afford all inclusive to visit your family?

I can't see why they can't have a holiday without you, so what if your children misout on seeing their grandparents on this occasion it's not unusual in most families to have some children living closer to grandparents than the other.

I think you just need to go to bed and stop stressing about an entirely non-issue event.

HeliotropePJs · 26/08/2024 03:16

I'm not certain if I'm getting it all, but are you saying that your PIL are holidaying with SIL's family without inviting your family along? I get that PIL live closer to the other side of the family and so see them more often, so you're upset that your son is being left out and will hear about this from his cousin.

I can understand being hurt that you feel your child has been overlooked. If the family usually holidays together, that makes it even worse that they'd leave your family out.

Josette77 · 26/08/2024 03:15

I'm so confused.

They went abroad without you but live close by?

Topseyt123 · 26/08/2024 03:13

I don't get it. Too long to read fully and too much disjointed information.

ClockwiseHoneysuckle · 26/08/2024 03:12

I'm sorry, I just don't understand any of this.

Edenmum2 · 26/08/2024 03:08

Your thread title could not be more appropriate